Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Simply The Best...

Not only is the year rapidly twisting to an end, but the entire decade is wrapping up!  It seemed like such a big deal in 1989 and then again in 1999, but this year...I needed to be reminded that on Friday we will begin a new ten.  Wow...2010...I remember when I was fifteen years old my bestie Nicole and I wrote letters to one another from the "future."  I still have that letter...and I dated it September 9, 2010.  It seemed like such a lifetime ahead...and now, here we are.

This is how my letter read (written on September 9, 1989):

Dear Nicole,

Hello from New York City! (And to think that I went to NYC for the FIRST time this year)  Jason Jett and I married five years ago (interesting that I waited until I was 30 to get married) and we just had our first baby, a girl (also interesting that I was 35 when I had my first child).  Her name is Natalie.  She has blond hair and blue eyes.  We love her so much.  Jason is a cartoonist (he is an awesome artist) for the New York Times and I stay at home with Natalie (ha! unless I had endless amounts of cash to shop with, that would NEVER happen).  We just moved into our four story home and it has a white picket fence (yes, I can totally see that in NYC)!  How are you and Travis (I cannot remember if Travis was really her boyfriend at the time or if it was just a crush of hers) doing?  Jason and I would love to fly you two to New York (with our endless amounts of cash) for a visit. 

Much love,
Betsy Jett

Too funny!  I can't get over my writing...I used the really wide lined paper and my writing was what one might call "bubble" letters.  The writing of a young girl in love for the first time...

So, here we are...packing up the year 2009, and what a year it has been!  A year full of real. life. change.  I thought it might be fun to reminisce...let's take a look at a few of my best posts of the year!

February:  The month in which I started this online diary.  "I want to be a part of it: New York, New York"  (My adventures in NYC...a destination I have dreamed about since I was little, but truly never thought I would get there!)

March:  "A Change Would Do You Good"  (My first online recording and omission of my faith walk).

April:  "God Doesn't Keep A Record Of Wrongs"  (My testimony...I LOVE to share with anyone that will listen)!

May:  "Skin Cancer, Take 5"  (Informational post to warn others of the extreme dangers of tanning beds).

June:  "The Gift Of Friendship" (A fellow blogger friend and her AMAZING gift!!)

July:  "The Stork Does Not Bring The Babies"  (I rehash the birth of son number two)

August:  "Professional Haggler"  (Because let's face it, I'm an idiot!)

September:  "Bite Me"  (Um, hello?  Robert Pattinson....enough said.)

October:  "The Fear Of Not Mattering" and "The Great Giveaway"  (Both are equally AWESOME)!

November:  "Master Cleanse"  (I'm STILL laughing)!

December:  "Dear Christmas, The Good, The Bad & The Ugly" (I mailed this post out as my Christmas letter to all my family) and "TMI Thursday"  (I was mailed a box of Gas X just this week...from the victim.  I'll never live this down).

There you have it!  A monthly spread of my best/favorite posts!  I'm looking to another year of witty self disclosures (thanks Paul)! 

Happy New Year to all of you!!

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Spiritual Leaders...

Today I was reminded of how very lucky I am...

February of 2010 will mark one year of my spiritual journey.  Accepting Jesus into my heart and asking for his forgiveness, developing an intimate relationship with my has been real. life. change. 

I had coffee this morning with a new found friend, a "spiritual leader" that I can add to my growing list.  I shared with him my testimony and he shared his...and I am reminded how very lucky I am.  I am walking among those that share the same passion for Christ as I do.  I am surrounded by people that love me and share the same values as I do...

In sharing my testimony with my friend this morning I was reminded of how my life was before I was saved.  My heart aches when I speak about my past...and yet I made the point that I believe my past was necessary for me to truly appreciate and understand the gift that I have been given...the gift of Jesus.

It hasn't been an easy journey...of course the moment you declare Christ as your Lord and Savior you immediately become Satan's number one enemy...he will attack you daily with self doubt and temptation.  But understand that you are not alone, you are not have Christ's Word, Christ's love...use it.

I am so very lucky.  I have awesome spiritual giants...role models...they lead me by example, showing me what is possible.  They have cleared the path on the spiritual journey with their own journey and they encourage me to persevere, just as they have. 

If the greatest goal of our lives is to become like Jesus we must find those who are serving him well and imitate them as they imitate Christ. They are seldom found among the high profile, wealthy, influential individuals often held up as "role models" in today's society.  True spiritual role models will usually be found among the low profile, humble, selfless servants who go about their business of following Christ whether anyone is watching or not...and I am so very lucky to be surrounded by true spiritual giants!

Monday, December 28, 2009

The Birthday Bash Is Over...

The month of December is a celebration of Jesus birth, and on Christmas Day we sing Happy Birthday to our Savior.  That's one thing Jesus and I have in common...we both celebrate the entire month of our birth, but Jesus really goes all out... EVERYONE gets presents on His birthday (I'm way to selfish to share gifts on my day).

We hang lights and sparkly things to honor Jesus.  We sing songs about Him and we even have children dress in His time and reenact His birth.  We eat chocolate, cinnamon rolls, cheese balls, homemade breads, cookies and pastas (afterall, Jesus totally condones gluttony during his birth month). 

Families reunite to celebrate our King...

And then as soon as the last cousin steps outside our front door...I grab the plastic tubs that are neatly labeled and Christmas comes down.  Organized in the proper boxes for next year's celebration.

It's the OCD in me...that, and the fact that our already minute Christmas tree was taking up WAY too much space in our family room...which also serves as our master bedroom and houses our king size bed (you already know this). 

And so Saturday afternoon when hottie husband reappeared from a morning of exchanges and returns, he walked into our home to see Christmas boxed up and put away.  "Christmas is over?" he asked.  "Christmas is over" I replied, "now, lets talk about how we should decorate for my April."

Here are a few photos from our celebration:

My nephew Henry thinks the flash is too bright!

Jackson & Benjamin wait patiently while gifts are being passed out.

Leave it to the 13 year old to not wait patiently
while gifts were being passed out.
Hayden began opening his gifts right away!

This is one of three Christmas trees at my mother's house!

Maudie (my sister's dog) wears a Christmas bow!

My entire family poked fun of my boots...they were VERY warm!

My mother's prime rib for Christmas Day dinner!  Mmmmmmm!

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

What Does Christmas Mean To You?...

Earlier in the week the question was posed, "What does Christmas mean to you?"

I've given this question a lot of thought this week...

Of course Christmas is a celebration of Christ's birth...but I also see Christmas as an opportunity.  I watch so many people during Christmas that sing along with and listen to songs about Christ and salvation.  Songs that quote directly from Scripture...

I watch people during Christmas who need Jesus...they celebrate his birth, out of habit...pausing at the manger scene, never getting to the blood....

Christmas is the perfect season for bring Christ to the forefront of every conversation.  To share with others the unfathomable act of selfless, sacrificial love...God left heaven's glory to die in sinners' place. He offered mercy to people who deserved only His wrath....

Christmas brings a lesson of love...Christs his coming, in his life and in his death.  A love that sacrificed. 

And so I ask you...what does Christmas mean to you? 

Merry Christmas to you...may you find the joy and the peace the Jesus brings, if you will only accept Him into your heart.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Hairy Topic...

Roughly two months ago I was diagnosed with diabetes...this morning was my follow up appointment with a new doctor that I can add to my long list of doctors.  This appointment was scheduled two months ago and in that time I was supposed to loose fifteen pounds ("supposed to" is the key phrase here).  I was "supposed to" keep track of my blood sugars (I just purchased my glucometer last week) and I was "supposed to" write down any questions I may have concerning my newly diagnosed illness (this, I did!).

My point above is that I had a "follow up" appointment this morning with a new doctor that was "supposed to" be a "routine" check in for diabetic patients...or so I thought....

So...imagine my surprise when Dr. McDreamy (yep, he's pretty hot) asked me if I had any swelling in my legs and feet and when I answered, "I used to, but Dr. Family Physician prescribed me a diuretic," Dr. McDreamy responded with, "let me take a look." do you say, "I haven't shaved my legs since, oh, I don't know...October?" in the most classy way??? 

Real women don't shave their legs on a regular basis...especially when it's twenty degrees outside and there is no need to wear short skirts!  Real women are married to real men that don't mind that their wives don't shave their legs in the winter (our bed is in our family room for crying out's not like there is any reason to shave my legs...if you know what I mean). 

There I was...pant legs pulled up, apologizing profusely for my hairy legs...and then it hit me...what kind of woman am I??  Who am I trying to fool, "real women don't shave their legs..."...I'm going home to shave my legs right now!  I want to be that woman...the kind that shaves her legs every single day and then applies thick moisturizing cream from Sax Fifth Avenue that cost $700.  I want to be the kind of woman that gravitates towards Martha Stewart Living Magazine at the grocery store, the kind of woman that buys linens and wears aprons with landscapes of beaches and kittens.  I want to know how to make a special marinade and what the perfect substitution is when I run out of vegetable oil. I want to own a bundt cake pan.....

because let's face it...I'm the kind of woman that doesn't always wash my face before I go to bed.  The kind of woman that wears Dr. Pepper chap stick and can't keep my mouth shut, even when it's inappropriate to speak up.  I'm the kind of woman that would rather eat out then cook in.  The kind that uses the word vagina in public too much and gets distracted at looking at peoples rear ends at the gym.  I'm the kind of woman that sees no use in shaving my legs in the dead of winter...unless I have a doctor's appointment...but not for my diabetes doctor...but for my gynocologist...because I know he appreciates it. 

And so, new diabetes doctor of mine...I apologize.  Had I known you were going to examine my legs I would have gone the extra mile...

Until then, I'm off to some ritzy store to buy myself a real razor.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Thursday, December 17, 2009

TMI Thursday...

I absolutely had the most embarrassing moment of my professional career today.  For those of you who read my blog and believe that I am truly a princess...stop reading.  For those of you who believe that I am without fault...stop reading. 

What I am about to share is fact, I think I'm going to have to move my family to another's that bad...

This week has been filled with the joys of the Christmas season...I have been delivering Christmas candy to my clients, spreading good cheer to those that I appreciate!  Today was no different.  I checked into the office, grabbed the few boxes of candy I had left and hopped into my car to deliver the candy to the last of my clients.  I made three stops before lunch...handed over the candy, giggled in conversation and wished a Merry Christmas.  My next stop was to JCMG to have some blood work done.  I had been fasting for twelve hours per my doctors orders and I was starving...I quickly got into my car after having filled six (SIX!!) vials of blood and I rushed to the nearest Taco Bell (BIG MISTAKE).  I was SO HUNGRY...I sat in the drive through for what seemed like hours, inching slowly towards my beef mouth was watering as I came closer and closer to the drive through window.  BAM!  I was handed my bag and I hadn't even pulled out of the parking lot before I inhaled that beef was fabulous! 

Do you see where this is going?....

Next stop...last candy drop of my favorite clients!  I wasted no time...I wanted to get this Christmas candy out of my smelled SO good!  I drove straight to Columbia and as I was pulling into the parking lot of my client's office my stomach gurgled..."hmmmm....that kind of hurts."  I sat in my car for a moment and let the cramping subside.  I opened my car door, grabbed the candy and walked into the building.  The receptionist greeted me, "Good afternoon, can I help you?"  I smiled, "Hello!  Is Bob* in the office?" (*in effort to protect the victim in my story I have changed the names).  The receptionist asked me to have a seat in the lobby and she would ring *Bob and let him know he had a visitor.  As I turned to take a seat in the lobby my stomach cramped up again...this time I made a sour face..."ouch!"  I felt a bit nauseous...and admittedly a tad faint.  I panicked, "did I take my seizure medication this morning?"  I thought back to my hectic morning...yes, yes...I remembered taking my medication.  "What is wrong with me?"  I felt hands began to clam up.  I sat down in a chair and I closed my eyes for a brief moment.  Taking a deep breath in I softly whispered, "get it together Bets, shake it off."  I opened my eyes to the sound of *Bob's voice.  "Hey there Betsy!" *Bob stuck out his hand and I grabbed it, apologizing for my sweaty palms.  *Bob invited me back to his office..."oh, I am just here to drop off this Christmas candy, I can't stay..."  *Bob replied, "come back for a second, I want to run an idea by you."  What a nightmare...I really needed to use the bathroom, I felt like I might vomit...but I took another deep breath and followed *Bob back to his office.  As I was walking behind *Bob it suddenly occurred to me that the beef burrito I had scarfed down half and hour earlier was giving me extreme gas...OMG...please, Lord Jesus, PLEASE give me some time to meet with *Bob and then I will use the bathroom....PLEASE don't do this to me.  Jesus had other plans...

As we walked into *Bob's office I decided that I needed to use the restroom right more waiting..."I need to use the restroom, I'll be right back..."  *Bob sat in his chair, "this will only take a second, sit down." I in a nightmare?  What do I say?  Do I tell *Bob that I'm about to crap my pants and I REALLY need to use the restroom???  Pride got the best of me...I decided I could hold on a few more minutes...

Are you palms sweating now...because you know what's coming next, right?

I turned to take a seat...and just as I was lowering my behind into the chair....

Are you going to make me say it?

I let out the biggest....LOUDEST...toot (we don't use the "F" word in my house). 

I wanted to vomit I was so embarrassed...but I figured I had already shocked the hell out of my client with the noise that had just escaped my rear face was scarlet red...I could feel the heat of my embarrassment.  There was complete silence (yeah, where in the heck was silence just moments before?)!!  I didn't know what to say...I couldn't even apologize.  I just sat down and starred at the floor.

After what seemed like a lifetime, I looked up at *Bob to see his head resting on his desk and his body convulsing with laughter...the kind of laughter where there is no noise because you can't even breathe....

"I hate you."  It's all I could think of at the moment.  "I am literally praying to God that the Earth will open up and swallow me and you are sitting across from me laughing at my expense....I hate you."

*Bob raised his head and looked at me through teary eyes..."I'm sorry.  I know you are humiliated...but that is damn funny."

Damn funny indeed...I set the Christmas candy on *Bob's desk and left him in his office...shutting the door to trap him in the foulness that had just leaked from my it funny now *Bob?

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

I Will NOT Be Wearing "Skinny" Jeans To Christmas Dinner...


1 package of vanilla candy coating

1 package of chocolate candy coating

1/3 tsp peppermint extract

½ package of candy canes (crushed)

Unwrap ½ of the candy canes in the package (I buy two packages because while I'm unwrapping them I have a tendency to eat them). Put them inside two large plastic bags and go to town with a rubber mallet or a rolling pin...(this is an awesome way to release any anger you may be harboring). You can make them as fine or as coarse as you desire...I like them a little more coarse myself.

Melt the chocolate candy coating in a double boiler (if you are not the "Martha Stewart" type and don't have a double boiler then you can use a stainless steel bowl on top of a pot of water). Add peppermint extract. Once the chocolate is melted spread evenly into a jelly roll pan lined with wax paper in a thin layer.

Refrigerate to speed up the setting process...patience is not my strong suit.

Melt vanilla candy coating in a clean bowl. By the time this is smooth, your chocolate should be set. Spread vanilla candy over chocolate mixture quickly in an even layer. Sprinkle with crushed candy canes and press in carefully. Place the pan back into the refrigerator to set.

Once the entire pan is set and hardened, lift out by the wax paper and gently remove the wax paper. Place onto cutting board. You can cut with a chef's knife or break apart with your hands. I like to use the knife because I have OCD and I want my pieces to be perfect... fact, eat the whole darn pan...then run to the store, buy additional ingredients and start all over so you won't have to confess to your family that you ate it all!  ;)

Monday, December 14, 2009

I Am Not Ashamed...

I wrote this post yesterday after church...and then I decided not to post it...I was reading over my words making sure everything was spelled correctly and I thought to myself, "goodness...I sound like a complete looser before being saved..."  Thoughts of "what will people think of me?" and "do people know that I was a wild child in my past?" or "will my new friends still love me now that they know how I was before?" It was difficult for me to read what I had written and accept it...there it was...the truth. 

And then this afternoon I ran into an old friend whom I haven't seen in years.  She said she has kept up with me through my blog, stumbling across it from a link I posted on my facebook page.  She said, "I'm so proud of you and what you have become.  Don't be ashamed of your past, it has made you who you are today."

I agree.  I needed to be a wild child to become "wild" about Jesus!  And so...I'm posting my words from yesterday, written from my heart...

After church this morning our "connections" class was discussing the sermon we had just listened to and the topic of "change" surfaced in our conversation. The question was posed, "can people change?"  Several people among us offered their insight...I waited patiently...and then I spoke...

"I was thirty five years old when I decided to change.  It took me thirty five years of bad decisions, awful mistakes, the heavy weight of sin, one divorce and an almost second failed marriage before I decided that how I was living was getting me nowhere, quickly."

My husband was asked how he was effected by my accepting Christ and becoming saved...

"Our marriage is stronger...I feel like I have a partner...we are not just cohabiting."  I felt the sting of pain in my heart...

I added to his response, "our children are better because of my change."  I felt the tears begin to form as I recalled a moment with my son Jackson...just the two of us in the car on our way home from a trip to the grocery store.  Spirit FM set the dial on the radio and my son softly spoke to me, "mommy, I like our family now.  I like you better this way...I like our church and the music we listen to.  I like that you and daddy are together."  I pulled to the side of the road, overwhelmed with guilt and grief as I experienced for the first time what my former life looked like to my own children...

Can people change? 

The better question is, can Jesus change people?  Can faith change lives? 


I am experiencing real life change every single day because I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. 

Is it easy?  No.  Not just no...but....NO!  It's hard.  It's painful.  It's humbling.  And often I fall...

But because Christ died on the Cross for my sins, I am able to pick myself up and begin again....

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Veruca Salt...I Want It Now!

My goals of selflessness and being content with what I have are at odds with the fact that I am incredibly in love with "stuff."  I love my stuff.  I want more stuff.  I dream about stuff. 

Let me clarify something...I also like to give to fact, buying for other people and then presenting them with beautifully wrapped gifts is one of my favorite things...but if I'm going to be's the receiving that gets me all worked up! 

And so when hottie husband casually hints around that he needs gift ideas...well, I have found a casual way of hinting to hottie husband what I would love to receive....(after all, hottie husband does read my blog):

1.  Lindsay Phillips ballet flat with interchangeable jewels:  Can be found at Carrie's Hallmark, Downtown

2.  Travel bag for Lindsay Phillips Ballet shoes: Can be found at Carrie's Hallmark, Downtown (hello? All shoes should have their very own separate travel bag)!

3.  Burberry Brit Perfume: Can be found at Dillard's, Capital Mall

4.  Pink stripe ruffle shirt: Can be found at Gap, Columbia Mall

4.  Sequin sweatshirt: Can be found at New York & Co., Columbia Mall

5.  Mizzou sequin long sleeve tee-shirt: Can be found at Carrie's Hallmark, Downtown

6.  Proud as a Peacock Family Tree Print: Can be found online at My Tree and Me (

7.  Heated mattress pad (thanks Leah and Paul)!: Can be found at Target, Walmart, JCPenney

Now, listen up hottie husband...all of these things are things that I "want". I don't necessarily "need" any of these things...just remember where you get your sugar from, babe.  ;)

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Blessed Assurance...

How proud am I of my thirteen year old son?  So. Very. Proud.

Believing that Jesus is Lord and placing his faith in Him, Hayden accepted Jesus into his heart a few weeks ago, and this morning was baptised.

We are so proud of Hayden and his decision.  This is a picture of Hayden before the baptism (freezing in his swimming trunks, ready to submerge into the warm baptismal waters).

This is Hayden and our pastor, Mark.  Pastor Mark is a HUGE reason for our family's decision to make "real life change".  We adore Pastor Mark and his family! (I know what you are Pastor Mark the same age as Hayden?  No...he's my age...he just looks really young...see, being a believer has it's benefits)...(that's just a little humor)....

Hayden walking into the water (not on the water...not yet).  (More humor)...

Hayden proclaims that Jesus is Lord and is immersed into the water...

Hayden is now "right with God."  He has three principles that will now become very important to him.  Foundation, Motivation and Consistency.  If his foundation is the Bible, and if his motivation is being like Christ, and if he consistently seeks to live like Christ, then he will know that Jesus covers his sins, and he will still be right with God.

Friday, December 4, 2009

Celebrity Crush...He's Gonna Hate Me For This One...

I can't just let this least not without a few smarta** comments. 

Did you happen to catch my movie review this morning?  Oh...didn't you know, I'm a movie reviewer on KWOS, a local radio station on Friday mornings...tune in next week, you won't want to miss it.


In my post last week regarding the movie The Blindside, I mentioned that I would have a special guest reviewer today.  If  you were able to catch my review this morning, then you were introduced to Paul (I'll refrain from last names here, but we did broadcast his entire name and place of employment for all to hear on the radio).  Paul was introduced to me by my boss (and friend) Darla.  Paul is a client of Darla's and proclaimed mentioned that he is enamored, in awe a fan of mine. 

Listen...I'm not one of those "big-headed-I'm-better-than-you" celebrity types, I stay pretty grounded, so I did only what was natural...I graced him with an invitation invited him to review a movie with me. 

Of course he lept, somersaulted accepted the invitation and we met at Capital 8 Theatres.  He was all starry eyed when he met me He is a very nice gentleman and I have enjoyed getting to know him...

And his celebrity crush on me is kinda cute.  ;)

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Shout To The Lord...'s my favorite part of Sunday mornings.  The congregation stands together, the lights are often dim, the praise band stands in front on stage, and we sing our praises to the Lord.  I feel it, I feel the Holy Spirit, I focus on the words that I sing to my Savior.  Often I watch others around me.  Many raise their hands to the skies, glorifying their King, inviting Him into their hearts deeper and deeper.  So full of passion and faith, I envy those that are not "embarrassed" or  too "self conscience" to share their passion and raise their hands, to sing loudly, to open their hearts.   I feel it.  I want to raise my hands to the skies.  I want to open my heart wider.  I want Jesus to know that I love and adore Him...

Two weeks ago I sat in the back of the church, alongside my dear friend and her two precious little girls.  The music was loud, the words were displayed above for all to follow and the congregation stood together, singing to the Lord.  I was focused.  I was deep in the words.  I was singing my prayers and opening my heart...and then I heard a voice.  A sweet, tiny, if it was the only voice in the sanctuary.  I looked to my left, and there, standing next to me was my friend's oldest daughter (she's all of nine years old) and she was singing.  Her eyes were closed, her head was lifted, her little hands in the air and she was singing so loudly to her Savior.  Often she would nod her head as if to validate her love and faith in her Jesus.  She wasn't self conscience, she wasn't embarrassed...she was pouring her heart out to Him.  It stopped me.  I looked at this small child beside me and I thought to myself, "that is what I feel." 

And that little nine year old girl pushed me out of my comfort zone...the Holy Spirit spoke through her to me and I lifted my hands and I sang loudly.  I closed my eyes and I let the tears fall down my cheeks and I prayed deep inside my heart a prayer of thanks to Jesus for placing this little angel in my life!

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

I'm Gonna Let It Shine...

I had an interesting argument conversation earlier today.  I had an appointment with a client of mine to discuss an upcoming printing project.  This is a client that I have worked with since the beginning of my career in printing.  Often when I visit with this client we engage in small talk, but today it became much bigger. 

In the middle of our conversation regarding printing, my client said to me, "interesting blog."  I was flattered, as I took it as a compliment..."Thanks!" I replied.  My client continued, "I find it interesting that you are so open with your Christianity."  I was puzzled..."hmmmm, why?"  My client raised his eyebrows and smiled, "because you insinuate that you are perfect, without fault, above others."  My gut tightened, "then you must not know me well, and you are not reading between the lines, so to speak." 

"I don't mean to offend you, it is just an observation" my client responded. 

I quickly reacted, "I am offended.  I am open with my Christianity because I am passionate about Christ and what he has done in my life, how he has changed me for the better.  I am open about my Christianity to share with others that I am NOT perfect, in fact far from it...hoping that my desire and decision to accept Christ into my life will inspire others that may not feel worthy."

My client sat back in his chair and chuckled, "I am simply sharing with you that sometimes your posts hint that since you have become a Christian that you are without sin, and that your life before didn't exist."

"Seriously?  I would like to know exactly what entry I posted that would give you that impression.  My goodness...of course I am not without fact, I struggle with sin every single day.  Everybody does...including people who you might say are more 'Christian' than me!  The difference between the me now and the me in the past is I have a relationship with Jesus and an open heart to allow His power to bring about needed change.  And by the way, my 'life' before has been forgiven."


I looked at my client and smiled, "one more thing, I found a Savior...and I'll shout it from the rooftops, every. single. day."

"Good for you."  That was his response.  That was all he had. 

And it was enough. 

Yes, good for me. 

"Now no one after lighting a lamp covers it over with a container, or puts it under a bed: but he puts it on a lamp stand, in order that those who come in may see the light." Luke 8:16

Monday, November 30, 2009

All I Want For Christmas Are My Two Front...

Dear Santa,

You seem like a reasonable kind of guy, so I'm going to give it to you straight.  I'd like a new set of boobs, please. 

Now, I'm a somewhat grateful kind of gal (admittedly there are a few times where I've been selfish) and I really don't ask for much (please don't check that out, nobody likes a skeptic).  I realize that I should be happy with what I have, and truthfully, my ta-tas probably contributed in some way to landing hottie husband.  The size is not my's the gravity.  I need a lift, and I am convinced that you are just the person to leave me a nicely sized check made out to the best, experienced and local surgeon (if you can find a "McDreamy" that would be the icing on the cake)! 

All I'm asking for are a couple of nicely rounded out, lifted C cups that I can display proudly, with a hint of cleavage and I promise not to overexpose myself in inappropriate times because nobody likes a bragger either. 

Is this too much to ask?  Haven't I been an angel all year?  I am certain that I made the "nice" list this year.

Thank you Santa, I know you won't let me down (no pun intended).

Love, hugs and a "flash" for good measure,

Friday, November 27, 2009

Black Friday...Thank Goodness It's Only Once A Year

Nothing can compare to last year's bloody nose...yep, you read that correctly.  Last year, hottie husband and I stood in line at Walmart at 5 am for the almighty XBox 360 with Guitar Hero...and just as the Walmart representative blew his bull horn giving the "all go", I grabbed the XBox and felt a tug.  Standing on the other end was an elderly woman (okay, maybe elderly is the wrong description...she was maybe in her late 50's).  She gave me the evil eye..."Let go!"  My mouth dropped, "Excuse me?" I replied in my best "oh no you did-ent" accent (I even shook my head side to side).  "I said let go" she yelled.  I looked her in the eye and calmly replied, "I had it first, you let go."  And if I were watching a movie in slow motion, she pulled back her fist and popped me right in the nose!

Okay, I'm gonna be brutally honest here and admit that the first thought that went through my mind as I instinctively let go of the XBox was "W-T-F?"  (Look it up if you can't figure it out).

Here is where hottie husband becomes "hero" hottie husband...

Standing behind me, hottie husband reached around me (completely ignoring the fact that blood was gushing from my nose) and yanked (I do mean YANKED...have you seen hottie husband?) the XBox from the woman's hands...

"Run Forrest, Run!"......oh, wait....wrong story....

Anyway...I yelled at hottie husband..."Don't worry about me....RUN!!"  And he did...straight to the check out, paid and tucked the XBox safely in the back of our SUV.

End of story...2008

Begin 2009...

Date:  Thanksgiving night
Time:  10:00 pm
Location:  Lake of the Ozarks
Scene:  Upstairs bedroom of in-laws lake home
Characters:  Hottie Husband and Giggles (that's me)
Topic:  Black Friday

HH:  "Are we going shopping this year?"

G:  "I would like to, we still need to purchase gifts for the nieces and your parents"

HH:  "Honestly, I don't want to spend a lot of money, much less spend countless hours shopping store to store."

G:  "Fine. We set a monetary limit as well as a time limit."

HH:  "Agreed.  Let's say, no more than $200 and let's get it done in 3 the most."

G:  "Consider it done."


Fourteen hours later....(yep, that's 14) we walked in the house with approximately $650 worth of Christmas.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Thanks Be To God...

"But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ." (1 Corinthians 15:57)

"What are you thankful for on this day of Thanksgiving?"  The question posed at the dinner table among family. 

Family.  Friends.  Food.  Job.  One by one we went around the table and gave thanks.  I went last...fifteen others before me...I was number sixteen.  I sat, silently.  All eyes were on me...and I bowed my head...

Of course I am thankful for my family, my friends, the delicious meal I enjoyed today, the beautiful weather, my job...blah, blah, blah, blah...

But there was something more...something bigger, greater...something money cannot buy, something that has changed me inside and out...I lifted my head and I looked at my family.  My eyes filled with tears...smiling, I replied:

"What I am most thankful for is the price paid for my redemption."

Dear Lord, thank you.  Thank you for the courage you give me everyday to continue to share my passion for you with others.  I am not ashamed to spread the are my Savior, my Redeemer, my King.  You bless me each and every day!  Thanks be to God!

Gluttony...Yep, It's A Sin...



Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Beauty Mark...

I started reading a new book today.  Don't ask me what the title of the book is or what it is about...

I only started reading it so I could use this...

I will tell you this...

...this is the best darn book I've ever read!

Monday, November 23, 2009

I'm In Love...

with the movie "The Blindside" (you thought I was talking about you, didn't you?  Yeah, you know who I'm talking to)  ;)

However...I cannot reveal my review of the movie before I talk about it on the radio, so tune in a week from Friday (um, hello, celebrities get holiday's too) to hear all about this FANTASTIC, MUST SEE movie.

I will say this...

My company was AWESOME and made the movie that more enjoyable!! ;)  Don't'll get to meet *him* when he tags along for the review!

Saturday, November 21, 2009

I Need A Savior...

Today I allowed myself to cry.  A day where I surrendered.  The weight of the world's burdens were left at my Fathers feet and I whispered to Him, "I can't do it anymore."

I surrender to the sadness I feel for the death of my grandparents, and how desperately I miss them.  I surrender to the heaviness of my health issues, and the fear that I've allowed.  I surrender to the daily struggles of marriage, knowing that it can be difficult and sometimes frustrating.  I surrender to the stress of having three boys, one of them a teenager.  I surrender to the constant worrying for my family, my brother and his low self esteem, my mother and her need to fix everything, my father and the illness that has turned his world upside down. 

I cried.  I laid on my bed and I wept.  My eyes stung with salty tears and I whispered to Him again, "I can't do it anymore."

And I heard Him.

"Trust in me.  I am here."

I surrendered.  I believed.  I wept no more.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Divine Nobodies...

A friend of mine shared a book with me, Divine Nobodies, by Jim Palmer.  I read the book once, today I picked it up from my nightstand and began reading again after sharing the title of the book with some new found friends earlier in the day.  The tag line on the front cover reads, "Shedding Religion to Find God (and the unlikely people who help you)".  The story is the authors, how he put a troubled childhood behind him and earned a Masters of Divinity degree, on his way to becoming a top Christian leader.  But a series of setbacks left him wondering where God was and he takes off on a journey, encountering ordinary, unlikely people that changed almost everything he thought he knew about God.  Each chapter is a "divine nobody" and I learned something new in every page!

Here is one of my favorite sentences from the book:

"You have to first find your heart if you ever expect it to beat with the pulse of God.  The Tin Man eventually found his.  I'm finding I have one too."

I think I love this book so much because it is much like my journey.  God placed "divine nobodies" in my path...

"Divine Nobodies" #1:  My friend that shared this book with me.  Her marriage is strong, her children are incredible, her faith is unfailing.  She is someone I can call for extra prayer support or guidance over something big.  She is the woman I hope I can someday become. 

"Divine Nobodies" #2:  The families that I work for.  Four families...each one strong and steadfast in their faith.  Each family is an example of what true Christians are.  Giving, kind, patient, understanding, they are truly amazing people.

"Divine Nobodies" #3:  A young man I met in a Chamber Leadership class.  He introduced himself to me on the first day and we were stuck with one another every session after.  He heard my cry for help.  He encouraged me to meet his mother, who is a part of one of those families I mentioned above.  God placed Jeff right smack dab in the middle of my path, forcing me to choose a better one.

None of these people are anything but ordinary people.  They lead ordinary lives, they work ordinary jobs.  And yet, all of these people have changed my life.  They opened my heart to Jesus. 

Do you have "divine nobodies" in your life?  Who are they?

Will I Make It?....

In less than 12 hours he will be on the big screen...

Will I be able to stay awake?  Lord, I hope so!

Oh Edward, I mean Robert, I mean Edward...I want to become a vampire...go ahead, bite me.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

That's Not What I Pictured...

Maersk Alabama was attacked by Somali pirates...again.

NAIROBI, Kenya (Nov. 18) -- Somali pirates attacked the Maersk Alabama on Wednesday for the second time in seven months, though private guards on board the U.S.-flagged ship repelled the attack with gunfire and a high-decibel noise device.

I have to tell you, I'm a little disappointed...

What happened to the pirates that look like this?....

Because...if he attacked a ship that I was on...I would beg to be taken.  I'm just sayin'.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Be Still....

and know that He is God...

It's a verse I repeat often. 

Psalm 46:10 "Be still, and know that I am God." 

I find it comforting.  I find it strong.  I can hear Him whisper, "Be still, and know that I am God."

Be is a spiritual disposition.

Be still...

And I drop my hands to my side, I become limp, I relax.  I leave it with God, and he comforts me.

Be still...and know that He is God.

It encourages me to reflect on what God can do in the face of what I am unable to do.

So when I feel like my world is tumbling down, when I am feeling weak and overwhelmed, I remind myself to not draw back in faith in God.  But to be still...

Be still in what  I know about God.

Monday, November 16, 2009


So, in effort to boost my self confidence (I know it's hard for some of you to believe that I have low self confidence, but I do)...I am on a weight loss kick, complete with working out...which you already know about from a few blogs down...


I have also decided to grow my hair long again, because like every other thirteen year old, I believe that girls with long hair have all the fun (or is that blonds have all the fun...crap, I went back to my natural brunette)!  This is quite a challenge for me...those of you who know me know that I am all about the instant gratification....I want something, I want in NOW.


Hair extensions...right?!  You walk into the salon, and walk out looking like this...

I called my beloved hairstylist, her name is Jordan and she works at The Loft (never been?...go NOW, YOU WILL L-O-V-E IT!!!).  I shared with Jordan my brilliant idea, she asked me three questions:

1.  What is your motivation for getting hair extensions?

My answer:  "Motivation?  Um...well, because I want my hair to be long.  I've had it styled like Posh Spice long's time to grow it out.  Oh, and I'm not really good with the whole "waiting" period....I need it to be long now."

2.  Do you have the time for long hair?

My answer:  "Um, what do you mean?  Of course I don't have time, I just told you that I don't want to wait.  I want long hair NOW!"

*Jordan:  "Let me rephrase that question, long hair takes you have the time to take care of your long hair?"

My second answer:  "Oh....well, no.  But that's the beauty of long hair....duh!? Can you say ponytail?"

3.  Do you follow directions well?  There are specific instructions on how to maintain and care for long hair, especially extensions.

My answer:  "Geez, Jordan...I would think that after styling my hair for the past three years and getting to know me, you would know that without a doubt I do NOT follow directions well.  I don't have time for directions or rules.  Rules, schmoolz."

And that was that...I was TOTALLY NOT ready or responsible enough for hair extensions...but I got them anyway. 

So, I arrived at my appointment.  I was SO excited!  I was certain that Pantene was going to call me to star in their next luxurious long hair commercial.  I was going to step out of the salon and turn heads...

Two hours later...after Jordan poured her blood, sweat and tears into placing the extensions into my hair...after she carefully styled my new do...she turned me around to face the mirror...


this is what I saw....

I H-A-T-E-D the extensions.  I looked like a really bad, really early 80's Joan Jett, like I just needed to grab my electric guitar and take the stage for some hard core rock and roll....

", it's not what I envisioned."

Jordan:  "You don't like it?"

"'s not that I don't like's that I HATE it, cut them out."

Jordan:  "WHAT?!?!  You don't want the extensions?!!!"

"um, yeah, no..."

forty five minutes later I walked out of the salon looking exactly the way I did when I walked in. 

But I did schedule my appointment to have my hair colored...

Now....I'm thinking pink highlights....   ;)

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Oh Deer....

Every year, in almost eleven years of marriage, I have not had to worry about hottie husband returning with the dreaded "dead deer."  I don't have a palate for deer meat and I honestly have no desire to whip up a new deer recipe...

No, I've never had to worry about it...

Until today...

A 10 point buck....


Thursday, November 12, 2009

Master Cleanse...

I know I have said this before...


I am totally SERIOUS this time...



This week I have gotten up at the crack *butt* of dawn and met my sister-in-law at the YMCA to lift weights and do cardio.

I have ALSO really watched what I am eating...(except today I watched a Ruben sandwich and onion rings as well as a strawberry hot fudge concrete go into my mouth, what? Culver's just opened...cut me some slack!).

So, I called my sister-by-another-mister (her dad is my step-dad, but we share the same mom) and asked for her advice (she's BIG on yoga and nutrition, everything natural...she's what I call a "tree hugger" or a "fool").  Here is how the conversation went:

Jordan (my sister):  "Yo!" (she's still really young folks, so she talks differently than we adults do).

Me: "Sup" (I have to try to talk like her so she will understand).

Jordan:  "Not much, just chillin"

Me:  "Great. So, the purpose of my call is that I am determined to loose some baggage and I know you are up on all this healthy crap, so I thought maybe you know of some good diet tips that might help me and motivate me..."

Jordan:  "For sure.  That's awesome.  Actually, you should start with a cleanse."

Me:  "A cleanse?  I already shower twice a day, Jordan."

Jordan:  "Yeah, I'm talking cleansing the INSIDE of your body.  It's a 10 day program and it totally cleans your system out.  It's really good for you, for your colon and for your intestines, and you can loose anywhere between 7-10 pounds in 10 days.  It's a great kick start."

Me:  "So, what do I do?"

Jordan:  "You drink a concoction of 2 Tablespoons of organic lemon juice, 2 Tablespoons of organic grade B maple syrup, 1/10 Teaspoon ground cayenne pepper, and 10 oz of filtered water.  That's it.  That's all you can have for 10 days.  And I know you are going to think you can't do it, but you can.  I do it all the time!"

Me:  "Does it work?  How do you know it works?  How do you know that it's really cleaning your system?"

Jordan:  "Because it's been 2 years since I've had corn, and yesterday there was corn in my poop."

Me:  "I just vomited in my mouth a little."

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

To Grandma, From Baby Betsy...

Eleven years ago today, my beautiful grandmother passed away at the very young age of 68.  She was a victim of breast cancer...a tiny lump in her breast that was overlooked on a mammogram.  She was diagnosed in August of 1998.  She died November 11, 1998...a mere three months after being diagnosed. 

My grandmother was born Josephine Ann Hockaday on May 10, 1930.  She married young, to a man I've never known, my mother's father, Jr. Hickey.  My mother is the oldest, followed by my aunt Stephanie.  When both my mother and my aunt were very, very small, their father and my grandmother's husband left them, wanting them no more. 

My grandmother reconnected with a high school friend, Charlie Czarlinsky.  He is who I knew as my grandfather.  After my grandparents were married, my grandfather legally adopted my mother and my aunt and he and my grandmother then had a third daughter, my aunt Charlayn. 

Together my grandmother and my grandfather ran my grandfather's family business in downtown, Jefferson City.  A men's clothing store called, Czarlinsky's.  The store was closed for business when I was in the eighth grade...I have many memories of the store such as helping make bows for Christmas packages, walking to Daisy Delight with my grandfather for onion rings, pushing the keys on the old cash register and helping to "ring" up the customers.  I remember when my grandparents lived above their store. 

What I remember the most about my grandmother was her blue eyeshadow that she wore from her lids to her eyebrows.  She taught me how to play tennis at the Country Club, and I begged her to buy me the tiny white tennis skirts that the professionals wore.  I remember my grandmother teaching me how to sew, and we made Barbie clothes together.  My grandmother taught me how to cook and she made all my favorite things.  I remember when any of the grandchildren were in trouble her threatening statement was "I'm going to set you on fire!"...(said in love).  I "inherited" my obsessive compulsive disorder from my grandmother, watching her clean her tile floors with a toothbrush.  Everything was always in it's spot and never a spec of dust was found in her home.  She could whistle through her teeth and her laugh was loud and contagious! 

My grandmother was my best friend.  She is who I called to cry to when I had my first broken heart.  She celebrated my sweet 16th birthday with me when my mom and my dad were at my youngest sister's bedside days after she was born, not knowing if my sister would make it through the night.  She called me "baby Betsy" until the day she died.  She took me to get my ears pierced (even though my parents said I had to be 16...I was 13)!  She let me drive her car in the driveway and the parking lot where she and my grandfather lived.  She gave me my first taste of coffee.  She bought me the dress I wore when I married my first husband. 

She never stopped believing in me, even when I had given every reason for her to not believe in me.  She offered words of encouragement when I needed them most.  She loved me unconditionally, and she knew me like nobody else knew me....

My grandmother was the most beautiful woman I knew.  She was intelligent, she was kind, she was patient and she was full of spirit! 

I miss my grandmother terribly.

To my grandmother...I know your view from Heaven is grand!  I hope I have made you proud...I know that if you were here you would tell me so.  In fact...I can hear you now..."You have pulled yourself up by the boot straps, and I'm so very proud of you!" 

I love you grandma! 

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Wanna Know How I Spent Most Of My Day?....

Sitting in my office on the second floor, blinds wide open, watching this...

And this...

And then when we all figured out it was "miscommunication"....this is what I thought of...

Taxpayers money....right down the toilet.  :(

Monday, November 9, 2009

Three Nevers

I got this idea from another blogger...

What (if you have them) are your three "nevers" in life?

I'll go first...

1.  Never give up your Faith in God. 

2.  Never except candy from a stranger (except M & M's)

3.  Never say you will raise your children differently than your parents raised you...(My parents were/are SUPER strict and I thought they were the world's toughest parents!  I remember saying on a daily basis, "when I have kids, I'm going to be less strict and be their friend!"....funny, how actually being a parent changes your prospective)!  ;)

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Lifehouse, "Everything"...

Turn up the volume and watch this amazing skit to the song "Everything."  As you are watching, keep this in your thoughts...Philippians 4:13 "I can do everything through Him who gives me strength."

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Obsession? I Don't Think So....

Have I mentioned that there are only 13 days, 14 hours, 35 minutes and 22 seconds until "New Moon" opens in movie theatres everywhere?!?! 

Do you know what that means???

It means a whole lot of this....

And this...

And be sure to pick up your copy of this...

Because it has a whole lot of this...

And this...

(I want to be the lobster bib)...

But wait...have you seen these?.....

Thank you Mr. Inappropriate Edward Panty Creator! 

Friday, November 6, 2009

To My Dear Friend...

I have a very dear friend who is going through a very difficult time in her young life.  She has two beautiful little girls (that I love and ADORE) and her husband recently asked her for a divorce.  She only works part time (sort of on a contract basis) as a photographer and so understandably she is feeling a little scared and unsure of how things will be.  Self confidence has plummeted and to top it all off, she has absolutely no family closer than about two hours away. 

The above is how my friend sees things as they are...

This is what I see...

I see a beautiful young lady that displays the most amount of patience I have ever seen a mother exhibit.  I see a tremendously talented and gifted quilter, her work is extraordinary and she's quick to boot!  I see someone so strong in her faith that she has set an example to me of someone I aspire to be like.  I see two darling and energized little girls following Jesus because it's what they see their beautiful mother doing.  I see someone who isn't afraid to cry or ask for help.  I see someone who is there to offer a shoulder when others are crying and she is the first to offer assistance when others ask for help.  I hear her laugh and it's music to my ears.

But most of all, I see that God loves my friend.  And in order for her to grow in the grace and the knowledge of Jesus, He will expose her to difficult times, but always for her good and His Glory.  None of us is promised a smooth path on the Christian road, however we are assured that the Lord has already experienced all and more, and that He will teach us and grow us through whatever we face.

2 Corinthians 1:3-5 "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God."

And so to my dear encouraged and wait on Him. 

I am reminded of long as his eyes were on Jesus, he walked on water.  As soon as he took his eyes off of Jesus, he began to sink. 

Put your eyes back on Jesus.  Praise him.  Spend time with him. 

Be still and know that He is God.....

I love you!

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Is This It???

For those of you who do not know, I do movie reviews on a local radio station every Friday morning.  That's right...I'm paid to go to the movies.  I just returned from seeing the movie "This Is It", the last footage of the great Michael Jackson.  I'm going to be very honest with you and say that I really had no desire to see this movie, I only agreed because I was asked to review it.  However, having said that...I left the movie with a new respect for the king of pop!

The Michael Jackson we see in the movie is not a self-styled god or a tabloid freak. He is what he always was underneath it all: a talented musician, a brilliant dancer, and one of the most gifted entertainers of all time.  For two amazing hours, all the ghosts of scandals past disappear, leaving an entertainer whose only desire was to dazzle.

And dazzle he does.

Michael was ready to reclaim his throne, he was a man on a mission and the footage shot during rehearsals for his upcoming tour proved that he didn't do things half a**, he went all the way.  The "Thriller" segment of the movie is worth the price of admission alone...

I challenge all of you...I know how you feel, you think he was/is over exposed, you are tired of hearing about "MJ"....but I urge you to let go of all those thoughts, open your mind and go see this is truly an awesome tribute to one of the music industry's most notorious and downright tragic figures!

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Another Letter To Oprah....

Dear Oprah,

I just emailed another request for you to send that darling friend of yours, Nate, to make all my house dreams come true.  And, again I received a generic email from "the Oprah staff" stating that my email was delivered, but due to the high volume of emails you receive on a daily basis, not all emails can be answered, but I should be rest assured that my email was read. 

Give it to me straight O, are my emails being read?  Because I really feel like IF my emails ARE being read, then Nate would have been here three years ago when I first started emailing.

Oprah, I have adored you from the beginning.  You introduced me to every spiritual guru since the early 90’s and I can assure you that my inner chi is centered. I have explored, along with you, and practiced every dieting trend from low-fat to Acai berry. I’ve met all of your professional nutritionists from Rosie to Bob Greene. (And you know what? I'm still fat, just like you...)

My point is, I've stuck with you.  I have endorsed you when others wrote hate mail.  I continue to TiVo your talk show every single day, even the re-runs, and I watch and I learn....

So WHY?  Why won't you send Nate to my house?  Do you even know that my king size bed is sitting in our family room, waiting for our master bedroom to be completed?  Yeah, we call it the "Willy Wonka" bed, because like on Willy Wonka, we sleep together in our bed...IN THE FAMILYROOM! 

So please, Oprah, please send Nate to my house.  At least the madness and the stalking can finally come to an end...all you have to do is SEND NATE!

Yours truly,

P.S.  If ever there is a movie to be made of my life, I totally would want you to play Jane, my therapist.

Monday, November 2, 2009

Warning: Carbon Monoxide...

For those of you that have read my blog from the beginning of it's creation, you may remember "This & That Thursday".  Each Thursday I would blog about something silly, stupid or downright hysterical from my past.  Well, I've decided to move Thursday's to Monday's with "Memory Monday's"'s that for creative? 

So...Memory Monday # 1:

Last year, around this time, both hottie husband and I were out and about, not having been home since we left for work early that morning.  I had all three boys with me and Mark was over at my parents house (no doubt completing some sort of handy man work for my mommy dearest).  Around 9 pm I pulled into our driveway somewhat perturbed that Mark was not home before me, I was exhausted and wanted help getting the boys bathed and into bed.  I parked the car and began to unlock the side door when I heard a faint, but ear piercing noise.  When I opened the door I realized it was our fire alarm...three staccato beeps, repeating over and over.  I panicked...knowing our fire alarm had two signals to alarm us of harm: the first, a continuous tone followed by a women's voice warning us of a "fire!" (said in a robotic voice).  The second, three staccato beeps followed by the same robotic voice, "warning, carbon monoxide."  I wasted no time, I slammed the door shut and turned to the boys..."go stand in the front yard, I need to call the fire department, our house is filled with poisonous gas!"  I grabbed my cell phone and called 911:

Woman:  "911, what's your emergency?"
Me:  "My home is filled with Carbon Monoxide!"
Woman:  "I have you at 1*0* B***H** Drive..."
Me:  "That's right."
Woman:  "The fire department is on their way.  Please stay out of the home."
Me:  "Thank you!"

I was impressed!  Not more than 5 to 7 minutes later not one, but THREE fire trucks, lights spinning and sirens screaming, screeched to a halt in front of my home, five (strapping and totally H-O-T, no pun intended) firemen come walking up my driveway.  Not far behind the fire chief pulls up in his fire engine red suburban and approaches me...

Fire Chief:  "Good evening mam.  Is everyone out of the home?"
Me:  "Yes sir.  We are all here."
Fire Chief:  "My men are going to go inside the home with their special devices (okay, so he really had some fancy word but I don't recall that word right now) and figure out what is going on."
Me:  "I understand."

I had called hottie husband over at my parents after I had called 911 and about this time he came flying into the driveway, a look of panic on his face.  Mommy dearest was ringing my cell, panic in her voice, checking to make sure her baby boys were all safe. 

This is where it starts to get ugly....

All five firemen walked out of my home after not even being inside for five minutes...and one of them was muffling a laugh.  The George Clooney looking one approached me, holding my fire alarm....

George Cloooney look-a-like:  "Mam, there is no carbon monoxide in your home.  Your fire alarm needs a new battery."
Me:  "But I heard the code was three staccato beeps followed by the robotic warning!"
GCLAL:  "Hmmm...I don't know how to answer that, because that isn't what it sounded like."
Me:  "BUT, I'm SURE that there is poison in my home!  Can you please go back in and use your little scientific device?"
GCLAL:  "That's the first thing we did mam."
Me:  "But.."
Hottie Husband (rudely interrupting):  "Betsy, um, I think they know what they are talking about." (turning to GCLAL), "I'm so sorry, thank you for your help."
Me:  "WELL hottie husband...I know what I'm talking about too...and I KNOW that the alarm was warning me of poison in my home! Now, Mr. hottie fireman, if you will PLEASE go back into my home and reassure me that it is not full of poison, I would greatly appreciate it."
GCLAL:  "Mam, I believe we have wasted enough of the city's tax dollars.  Have a nice evening!"

And with that, hottie fireman handed over our fire alarm and one by one all the fire trucks pulled away, sirenless and lightless.  Hottie husband and all three boys nonchalantly sauntered into our home and I stood, frozen in the middle of my driveway.  What in the world had just happened?  How could I have been so wrong?

Just then, hottie husband came out and walked right up to me and handed me a construction mask, laughing hysterically...

"Here you go honey, so you don't have to breathe in the poisonous gas..."

It wasn't so funny to hottie husband when he slept on the couch that night....