Saturday, August 29, 2009

Spanx You Very Much...

There's no denying that body-shaping undergarments are confidence boosters. Three weeks ago I bought my first pair of Spanx...Oh Em Gee! Not familiar with Spanx, allow me...

Spanx. I love these!! They suck you in and flatten you out (for when you have indulged in Coffee Zone's Candy Bar Latte too many). But if you attempt to wear these mid section suckers for more than an eight hour period you will surely need to be hospitalized for gastrointestinal damage, let me assure you, it's TOTALLY worth the risk!

An added bonus to wearing Spanx...each and every time you either put them on or take them off you loose five pounds...(okay, that might be a bit of an exaggeration, but it does take a lot of arm muscle, holding your breath and a few curse words to get them on and off).

Really the only negative experience I've had with my Spanx was last Thursday night when I was undressing in front of my husband in our dimly lit room and he cried out, "what in the world? Your crotch area looks like a mannequin!" (see photo above)

But can we form a Spanx-dependency? Yes, I think. Spanx addicts, time to step out of the closet...

Even the celebrities wear Spanx!!

Oh magical I adore you!! Because of you I will have that second helping of hot fudgery goodness from Central Dairy!
Spanx you, Spanx you VERY much!

Saturday, August 15, 2009

"Men of the Club" Boys & Girls Club Fundraiser...

It is my FAVORITE night of the year! The night when 10 local men (this year it was 9, we had a drop out at the last minute) compete for the title of "Mr. Jefferson City!" These men risk it all in three categories, swimwear, talent and "evening" wear. I place "evening" in quotations because this category gets pretty creative. One year we had a contestant dress as Darth Vader from Star Wars!

A male pageant doesn't get better than this! My fellow Boys & Girls Club board member, Kathy Crow, and I have coordinated this event the past four years and we do an AWESOME job, if I do say so myself!

This was the 5th annual "Men of the Club" event. This year we sold 1,200 tickets and we raised just under $35,000!!!

Here are some highlights (I'm hoping to post a few video clips in the next week):

This is me with Ryan Freeman.
I used to babysit Ryan and now he is a dear friend of mine!
I love this guy!

Jon Kempker, singing Adam Sandler's "Sloppy Joe!"

Adam Troutwine & friend, preforming a SNL skit...
I'll let you decipher the title of the song....

This is the winner of the competition, Ryan Imhoff.
He and his friends did the Justin Timberlake
spoof of Beyonce's "All The Single Ladies!"

This needs no's just HOT!

Ryan Imhoff in his idea of "evening" wear.
He is dancing to "I Feel Pretty!"

Ryan Freeman & friends with an encore of last year's "Thriller!"

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Professional Haggler??....

This will be the first of several NYC me folks, there is SO much to share of my recent business trip to NY with hottie husband.

I would like to share with you my MOST embarrassing/proud moment in NYC thus far...

"Haggling Hag"

If you have had the opportunity to vacation/work in the Big Apple then you are quite familiar with the stolen goods for sale on every corner! Purses, wallets, perfume, makeup, jewelry, photos with frames and photos without frames, watches, name it, it's for sale by some homeless looking crack addict that jumps at the first sign of local law enforcement. You have to be quick to haggle and make your purchase...and you must carry your purchase in a black trash bag as not to be seen by said local law enforcement and end up in the local jail. But it's TOTALLY worth it. I got a Louis Vuitton handbag for $35...and folks, it's real!

I must admit, I started out as a street vendors dream...I ALWAYS began my haggling high...I didn't get it. And this may come as a surprise to you, but math is not my strong suit. Let me give you an example...

Right before I made my Louis Vuitton handbag purchase there was a young lady beside me that picked up another style Louis Vuitton handbag (a bigger style I might add) and she simply said, "I'll give you $20." "$25" the vendor offered. "$22, that's my final offer" she shot back. The vendor took her money, wrapped her purchase in a black trash bag and she was on her way. My adrenaline began pumping...I could hardly contain my excitement. I looked at hottie husband for approval..."go ahead" he smiled. I picked up my chosen handbag and I looked the vendor straight in the face and said, "$30!" The vendor shot back, "$35" and I said, "deal!" Hottie husband was FURIOUS! With black trash bag in hand hottie husband huffed and puffed the entire 10 blocks back to the hotel room mumbling words under his breath.

Hottie Husband: "What in the world is wrong with you? What did you do?? The girl before you walked away with a bag 10 times the size of yours for $25 and you started at $30? You didn't even blink when he counter offered. You took his price right off the bat!!! What is WRONG with you??"

Me: "OMG! I can't believe I have a Louis Vuitton purse! I have to call Amy! (BFF)"

Hottie Husband: "Hello???!! Did you just hear what I said?? YOU ARE NOT GOING TO HAGGLE ANYMORE! I'm in charge from now on!"

Me: "Let's see if there are any street vendors with Jimmy Choo shoes!"

Seriously...why was hottie husband so upset? Is it me, or do you have to be an Academy-Award caliber actor to pull this haggling thing off?

Me: "I will give you $1 for this bread and not a penny more. My children are well fed and certainly do not need this loaf for nourishment. I spit on this bread!" I was determined to make hottie husband proud. The next evening we came upon framed photos of "The New Yorker" magazine covers. Naturally I HAD to have one. I sell printing....we print magazines....I sell in New York....I MUST have a magazine cover of "The New Yorker". AND...the vendor had one that was PINK with a high heel on it! HELLO?!?!? It was CALLING MY NAME!

Okay...this is my chance. I took a deep breath in. I release. I wiped my sweaty palms on the bottom of my shirt. My sensei (hottie husband) taught me well, his words of wisdom rang through my head...."haggling is about bluffing; if you show weakness or nerves, the salesperson will know you’re going to fold."

I stepped forward. I picked up the glass framed magazine cover. The pink reflected off my sunglasses. Adrenaline pumping. Stay calm. Breathe.

Me: "How much?"

Vendor (in some sort of accent that made it extremely difficult for me to understand): "$20"

Me: "I'll give you $10"

Vendor: "$15"

Me: "I won't pay more than $10"

Vendor: "okay, $10."

OMG! I DID IT! Hottie husband did you see that??? I must keep going, I'm on a high! I began picking out additional purchases...

Hottie husband: "Easy there Mrs. Trump, we've purchased quite a bit this trip."

Me: "huh?"

And so we went on our way, back towards the hotel. But not before we passed Sax Fifth Avenue (enter angelic voices singing).

Me (to hottie husband): "I just want to look."

And this my friends is where the embarrassment comes to play....

I spotted the most beautiful pair of Channel shoes I have ever seen. GORGEOUS. I MUST HAVE THEM. I picked the right shoe up and caressed it in my hand. My eyes glazed over.

Sales lady (dressed to the nines with flawless makeup, smelling like the most expensive perfume, hair pulled tightly back in a sleek bun): "They are beautiful, aren't they? What size can I get for you?"

Me (looking at the price tag of $435): "I'll give you $100"

Sales lady (in her snottiest voice): "We sell by price tags."

SNAP! I was back in reality. Dang it.

Well, you can't blame me for trying.