I know I have said this before...
I am totally SERIOUS this time...
I AM DETERMINED TO LOOSE WEIGHT!
This week I have gotten up at the crack *butt* of dawn and met my sister-in-law at the YMCA to lift weights and do cardio.
I have ALSO really watched what I am eating...(except today I watched a Ruben sandwich and onion rings as well as a strawberry hot fudge concrete go into my mouth, what? Culver's just opened...cut me some slack!).
So, I called my sister-by-another-mister (her dad is my step-dad, but we share the same mom) and asked for her advice (she's BIG on yoga and nutrition, everything natural...she's what I call a "tree hugger" or a "fool"). Here is how the conversation went:
Jordan (my sister): "Yo!" (she's still really young folks, so she talks differently than we adults do).
Me: "Sup" (I have to try to talk like her so she will understand).
Jordan: "Not much, just chillin"
Me: "Great. So, the purpose of my call is that I am determined to loose some baggage and I know you are up on all this healthy crap, so I thought maybe you know of some good diet tips that might help me and motivate me..."
Jordan: "For sure. That's awesome. Actually, you should start with a cleanse."
Me: "A cleanse? I already shower twice a day, Jordan."
Jordan: "Yeah, I'm talking cleansing the INSIDE of your body. It's a 10 day program and it totally cleans your system out. It's really good for you, for your colon and for your intestines, and you can loose anywhere between 7-10 pounds in 10 days. It's a great kick start."
Me: "So, what do I do?"
Jordan: "You drink a concoction of 2 Tablespoons of organic lemon juice, 2 Tablespoons of organic grade B maple syrup, 1/10 Teaspoon ground cayenne pepper, and 10 oz of filtered water. That's it. That's all you can have for 10 days. And I know you are going to think you can't do it, but you can. I do it all the time!"
Me: "Does it work? How do you know it works? How do you know that it's really cleaning your system?"
Jordan: "Because it's been 2 years since I've had corn, and yesterday there was corn in my poop."
Me: "I just vomited in my mouth a little."