Monday, November 2, 2009

Warning: Carbon Monoxide...

For those of you that have read my blog from the beginning of it's creation, you may remember "This & That Thursday".  Each Thursday I would blog about something silly, stupid or downright hysterical from my past.  Well, I've decided to move Thursday's to Monday's with "Memory Monday's"'s that for creative? 

So...Memory Monday # 1:

Last year, around this time, both hottie husband and I were out and about, not having been home since we left for work early that morning.  I had all three boys with me and Mark was over at my parents house (no doubt completing some sort of handy man work for my mommy dearest).  Around 9 pm I pulled into our driveway somewhat perturbed that Mark was not home before me, I was exhausted and wanted help getting the boys bathed and into bed.  I parked the car and began to unlock the side door when I heard a faint, but ear piercing noise.  When I opened the door I realized it was our fire alarm...three staccato beeps, repeating over and over.  I panicked...knowing our fire alarm had two signals to alarm us of harm: the first, a continuous tone followed by a women's voice warning us of a "fire!" (said in a robotic voice).  The second, three staccato beeps followed by the same robotic voice, "warning, carbon monoxide."  I wasted no time, I slammed the door shut and turned to the boys..."go stand in the front yard, I need to call the fire department, our house is filled with poisonous gas!"  I grabbed my cell phone and called 911:

Woman:  "911, what's your emergency?"
Me:  "My home is filled with Carbon Monoxide!"
Woman:  "I have you at 1*0* B***H** Drive..."
Me:  "That's right."
Woman:  "The fire department is on their way.  Please stay out of the home."
Me:  "Thank you!"

I was impressed!  Not more than 5 to 7 minutes later not one, but THREE fire trucks, lights spinning and sirens screaming, screeched to a halt in front of my home, five (strapping and totally H-O-T, no pun intended) firemen come walking up my driveway.  Not far behind the fire chief pulls up in his fire engine red suburban and approaches me...

Fire Chief:  "Good evening mam.  Is everyone out of the home?"
Me:  "Yes sir.  We are all here."
Fire Chief:  "My men are going to go inside the home with their special devices (okay, so he really had some fancy word but I don't recall that word right now) and figure out what is going on."
Me:  "I understand."

I had called hottie husband over at my parents after I had called 911 and about this time he came flying into the driveway, a look of panic on his face.  Mommy dearest was ringing my cell, panic in her voice, checking to make sure her baby boys were all safe. 

This is where it starts to get ugly....

All five firemen walked out of my home after not even being inside for five minutes...and one of them was muffling a laugh.  The George Clooney looking one approached me, holding my fire alarm....

George Cloooney look-a-like:  "Mam, there is no carbon monoxide in your home.  Your fire alarm needs a new battery."
Me:  "But I heard the code was three staccato beeps followed by the robotic warning!"
GCLAL:  "Hmmm...I don't know how to answer that, because that isn't what it sounded like."
Me:  "BUT, I'm SURE that there is poison in my home!  Can you please go back in and use your little scientific device?"
GCLAL:  "That's the first thing we did mam."
Me:  "But.."
Hottie Husband (rudely interrupting):  "Betsy, um, I think they know what they are talking about." (turning to GCLAL), "I'm so sorry, thank you for your help."
Me:  "WELL hottie husband...I know what I'm talking about too...and I KNOW that the alarm was warning me of poison in my home! Now, Mr. hottie fireman, if you will PLEASE go back into my home and reassure me that it is not full of poison, I would greatly appreciate it."
GCLAL:  "Mam, I believe we have wasted enough of the city's tax dollars.  Have a nice evening!"

And with that, hottie fireman handed over our fire alarm and one by one all the fire trucks pulled away, sirenless and lightless.  Hottie husband and all three boys nonchalantly sauntered into our home and I stood, frozen in the middle of my driveway.  What in the world had just happened?  How could I have been so wrong?

Just then, hottie husband came out and walked right up to me and handed me a construction mask, laughing hysterically...

"Here you go honey, so you don't have to breathe in the poisonous gas..."

It wasn't so funny to hottie husband when he slept on the couch that night....


  1. Funny thing fire alarm/ carbon monoxide detector went off today. It did the beep FIRE Beep FIRE...beep FIRE. Turns out my theruputic write a letter saying all the hurtful things and burn it would have been better off done outside rather than in the kitchen sink. When you fill up two or three notebook pages front and back and then light them on fire, it is warm enough to heat the whole kitchen before it goes off. But, hey, I guess the batteries are in working order.
    BTW, when my battery is going dead, the alert is normally in the darkest hour of the night. I have still not heard what the automated voice actually says but it has woken me up on three separate occasions now.

  2. OK totally laughing out loud at the GCLAL reference. I have a friend on facebook that called the fire dept. a couple of weekends ago for a weird ammonia smell coming from her furnace. Turned out to be the dog she was caring for had pee'd on the basement carpet. But on a side note, she also said the firemen were hot!!

  3. How funny! I seriously would have done the same thing!