Giggles & Bits: My Sister By Another Mister...

(Those are my sister's words...we share the same ~~crazy~~ mother but her father is my step-father...but we never think in those terms...she's my sister!)

Jordan Claire. She is my sister. She is twenty-six. She is spunky. She is hi-larious! She is what I like to call a "tree hugger" (she's very concerned about the environment). She eats only natural, organic foods and she could absolutely live without electricity or running water....

....in other words, she is the COMPLETE opposite of me! ;)

I adore my sister. I love to be in her presence...she makes me laugh, she offers advice (often from a perspective that I would have never thought), she is bold and vivacious, witty and full of useless knowledge. But most importantly she is unique. She has no stress regarding judgement (how others see her), no stress from a job (she freelance writes, using a degree in journalism at the top of her class), no stress from material items or worldly possessions (she can carry on her back all that she needs to survive).

Jordan travels...she picks up her life and she sets forth to pursue her dreams...and why not? She has no significant other, no children, she's young, she can work from anywhere...

In February Jordan left for Thailand. She met a friend (who is from India) that lives in Thailand and together they created adventures...

Last week Jordan (and her friend) traveled from Thailand to India. What a life, huh?! I heard from my sister via email over the weekend and I wanted to share her adventure with you...

I'm going to copy my sisters words (I say this because she can be crude....witty, but crude) and include the pictures (along with descriptions). Enjoy!! I must confess...she had me in tears...I was laughing hysterically!

Dear family,

Just woke up at the crack of two (that's PM) after some major napping (spending the mornings surfing, afternoons sleeping), starvin Marvin. G (that's my friend) is out running errands, and I'm afraid of her family feeding me (they make me eat like it's my job), so normally I would hide out in my
room, but at this point I'm beyond famished. So gma sits me down to a spread of fresh prawns, fish, and crab, all caught this morn, and I go to town. The maid, whom obviously doesn't think I'm throwing down fast enough, proceeds to come up to the table, grab the crab off my plate and crack it, then shoves it in my mouth with her hands, while I'm cracking more crab with my own mitts (we don't use utensils here.. I would give the food two thumbs up, but the right ones typically knuckle-deep in some sort of deliciousness.) Definitely not letting this lady into the bathroom with me..

To fully explain recent life here at Irshad Mansion, here's a sampling of conversations at G's grandparents dinner table:

Uncle (Arif Mehboob) to G: "You must find yourself a boy with whom you have good geometry."
:::silence:::
G: "Um, don't you mean chemistry?"
Uncle: "Yes yes, that too.."

G's Gpa (Irshad Mehboob, can neither see nor hear): "How is work in Taiwan Ghazala?"
G: "I work in Thailand, Dada, Thailand."
Gpa: "Oh, you should go to Hong Kong.."

Me: "This food is very good Dadi (G's Gma). Thank you, thank you so much."
Dadi (what I heard in Hindi): "Hu na na. Oonama kakada dokida dakida."
Me: "What did she say?"
G (laughing): "She says she doesn't understand a word you're saying."
Me: "Yeah, well, feeling's mutual lady.."

Uncle: "You know I went to Bali once when I was your age."
G: "Cool. How'd you end up there?"
Uncle: "Well, I won a trip."
G: "How'd you win the trip."
Uncle: "Well, there was a cigarette company that was having a contest
drawing, so I bought some cartons, collected enough stamps for two
entries, threw all the cigarettes away.. and I won!"
G: "Rrrright.."

Here are a few photos from my stay in India...

"OoseyBoosey": Gma Irshad has the prettiest darn mustache I ever did see, and I love her. I've been teaching her yoga while G translates, which is more like giving a Thai massage while trying not to give a heart attack. Can't stop blowing kisses and hugging this lady- total snugglepuss. Although she did scare the crap out of me with her stories of witnessing 'jins,' (Muslim spirits living among us in a parallel world), when the electricity went out last night.. Which it does every night..

Wife beater meets Rolex. Irshad Mehboob puts the 'G' in 'Grandpa.'

"Bonafide Ride": Kickin back on Gpa Irshad's Ambassador Classic.

It's steamier than satan's nutsack here, but we have to have ankles to wrists fully covered around the Muslim grandparents. Works out though, because the mosquitoes around these parts are big enough to rape a rooster, and I'm like a casino buffet for them.

"Holy Rollers": Parade ceremony for Lord Ganesha (elephant headed Hindu god of wisdom) I peeped out the bus window. Yesterday on the same bus I saw a naked dude riding a painted elephant along the side of the road. No big deal..