Wednesday, March 10, 2010

"Betsy-isms"


Anyone who has known me for any length of time (shoot, anyone who knows me, period) knows that I often misuse or mispronounce words ALL. OF. THE. TIME!

Hottie husband has kept a journal over the years of what he likes to call "Betsy-isms"...

Grab a front row seat and feel free to laugh out loud:

"Betsy-isms"
Words my wife misuses or simply says the wrong way

Silent Pa-tetly:  otherwise known to those of us that are a bit smarter as "silent but deadly"

Pa-tu-ity: you know, that added amount to your dinner check for a party of eight or more...we call it "gratuity"!

Ass-tri-gent:  or you could use it's correct pronunciation, "astringent"

What are you trying to infer?: what she means is "what are you trying to imply?", (this is one of my favorites)

Fax-i-meal: to the rest of the business world the word is "facsimile"

"I need to have my wedding ring biggend": when she was pregnant with our children she needed her wedding ring "enlarged"

"That happened light years ago!": news flash my love, "light years" is a measure of distance, not time

Ambercrombie and Fitch: it's actually "Abercrombie and Fitch"

Voice-terous: hmmm...do you mean "boisterous"?

Once while Betsy was waiting tables she had a customer ask her if there were any dairy products in the soup of the day...Betsy's response was, "just the chicken."

Another time Betsy was waiting tables a customer asked her to bring two, Thousand Island dressings...Betsy's response, "I'm sorry sir, we only have 'One' Thousand Island dressing..." quickly followed with a "ooooooohhhhh....right." 

Laying in bed one summer night, trying to cut down on the electric bill (by the way, Betsy ALWAYS says "electricity bill", it cracks me up) by not using the air conditioner...Betsy:  "I'm so hot I'm sticking to the air!"

Betsy talking to a friend on the phone the day after Christmas:
Betsy:  "Guess what I got for Christmas?"
Friend:  "What?"
Betsy:  "An np3 player!!!"
Friend:  "I think you mean mp3!"
Betsy:  "Whatever!"

A customer paid Betsy a compliment when she worked as a teller at a local bank:
Customer:  "Betsy, I'm impressed with how you can multi task!"
Betsy:  "You know me sir, I like to kill a bird with two stones."
Customer:  "I think you mean kill two birds with one stone!"
Betsy:  "Whatever it takes!"

Questions and Breakfast:  however, the Chamber refers to it as the "QMB...Quarterly Membership Breakfast"

A Time A Dozen:  she really means "a dime a dozen"

A leopard can't change his color:  and he can't change his "spots" either....

At the pop of a hat:  hats can pop?  How about "at the DROP of a hat!"

Betsy has been practicing with the choir at church for the Cantata on Easter Sunday.  Not able to attend all the practices, Betsy was feeling badly about missing out and walked up to the choir director and said, "Jill, it's not fair for me to miss so many practices, so I'm dropping out of the CANTINA."  Jill's response was, "Well, I'm not sure about drinking margaritas, but I'd love for you to still be a part of the CANTATA!"

(this was just last week)!!

Close, but no cigarette:  or "cigar"

I'd love a cup of jope:  I corrected her and said, "it's joe, baby" and she replied, "don't be an idiot Mark, why would it be joe??"  and I'm thinking, "ummmm....why would it be JOPE?!?!?!"

He was standing in the bluff!: I think she meant "buff"

Betsy can not say the following words (but ask her to try...it's VERY entertaining):

Aluminum
Linoleum
Alka Seltzer
Remittance
Paranormal
Breakfast
Spaghetti

*

Those are just a few of the entries...

And I am sure there are many more to come....

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