Friday, March 5, 2010

Dear Oprah...

Dear Oprah,

Last Friday I FINALLY had the opportunity to sit among your audience in the Harpo Studio!  I had anticipated that moment for SEVEN was overwhelming to say the least.

I write to you today to share this revelation with you:

I. Am. So. Over. You. !!

I think these feelings began while I sat in the "holding room" THREE HOURS prior to the taping of your show...this was AFTER I had been violated by your security, having my cell phone, my camera, my purse, my coat, ALL taken away from me.  I even carry prayer cards (small, business sized cards that have Bible verses written on them...a treasured gift from a friend that I carry with me daily) took those away from me too...what's the matter?  Did you think I might change someones life with a verse or two?!?!?

My feelings of disappointment only grew stronger when individually we were called up to take our seats in the the audience....according to what we "look" like.  My self confidence has plummeted since the show, thanks to the ladies that gave me the "once over" and seated me far from the front....

But...when you walked out on that stage, my ill will began to subside....UNTIL YOU WALKED OUT IN FLIP FLOPS AND STOOD CENTER STAGE, SNAPPED (yes, I said snapped) YOUR FINGERS AND A STAGE HAND RUSHED OVER AS YOU HELD ON TO HIM AND HE GENTLY PULLED THE FLIP FLOPS OFF YOUR FEET AND PLACED A PAIR OF (thousands of dollars, no doubt) JIMMY CHOO'S ON YOUR FEET....(note to self, get stage hand and Jimmy Choo's for Betsy at the Movies)...

What a diva.

But I'll tell you when I really knew I was over you....

During the taping of your show, Roger Ebert sat on your stage next to you and answered the question you posed, "How do you go on?"  Having no voice of his own due to a diagnoses of thyroid cancer and having his vocal cords along with his lower jaw removed, Roger typed his answer into the Apple laptop he held in his lap.  In a robotic voice the computer read his answer, "I live for God's will.  I trust in God's plan.  Even when the doctors said to me that my chances of surviving were slim to none, I called on my prayer warriors and they prayed by my bedside all night.  I believe in the power of prayer!"

AMEN!  (I yelled)

What a powerful statement to an audience of 350 at the time...but when the show would air on national television it had the potential to reach MILLIONS.....


I. Am. So. Over. You.


(seven years follower-lover of all things Oprah-now totally over you)

PS.  Should you decide to send Nate Berkes to my house and finish my basement like I've asked you for seven years, I may reconsider watching your show again.

*Actual message written on a urinal wall in a local restaurant (don't ask me why I was in the men's bathroom)...


  1. I love this post. I have been so.over.Oprah for years now. When she started preaching other ways to God (or is it little g god since I don't think we believe in the same big G God?) I quit watching her show. I'm sorry you were disappointed but glad you've seen the light. Hope others will too. I googled Roger Ebert because I had no idea he'd suffered so. I enjoy your posts so much. Your humor, your sincerity, honest and wit are just too much!!!

  2. That is so sad that she would edit his part out. What a great witness he has. I hate that you were disappointed. My husband hasn't liked Oprah for quite some time. When she doesn nice things, it always makes it on the show. He says it is about her getting noticed for her good deeds not the good deed itself. Thanks for letting us in on what took place at the show.

  3. WOW is about all I can say to this! I have been over Oprah for quite some time, and you just gave me 300 more reasons to not like her...I can't wait to tell this story to friends of mine who think I'm crazy for not liking her. Ugh. Finally catching up on blogs, love your new header!! :)

  4. Dang it. I can't get over her so quickly but you have definitely given me reason to. I am so disappointed.

  5. I'm sorry you experienced that...And yet, somehow I don't doubt everything you saw...But, the strangest thing just happened as i was reading this on Google reader through someone's shared items. I have the Oscar's on in the background and I heard a distinguishable voice in the background. And yes, it was Oprah, introducing Precious. Coincidence? Don't know...but eerie nonetheless...

  6. Do you like other celebrities? A lot of them are just as snooty as she is. I don't understand why a person would obsess over a celebrity. They're the same as us except they get everything they want and it sometimes goes to their heads.