past the humiliation...
past the point of no return, as they say....
For those of you who follow my blog, do any of you ever wonder how I continue on in my life? Do any of you doubt the perpetual craziness that boils in my head? It is the moments like I am about to reveal to you that agitate that craziness....
Sit back, my friends, enjoy what could easy be another most embarrassing moment in the life of Betsy...
**Warning...Inappropriate Self Disclosure....
As a quick side note, I should mention that I very rarely wear underwear (sorry mom...I know this is a nightmare for you)!
So, Friday night was the Chamber Gala and I spent hours getting all gussied up...hair was curled tightly in an "up do", makeup was applied to perfection, pearl necklace was borrowed from my aunt, black dress, neatly pressed, sparkly black high heels were bought for the occasion....
I pulled my grandmother's Pendleton coat from the coat closet...floor length, gray wool, like something from the movies that Audrey Hepburn would wear....I adore it! I draped the coat over my shoulders and stepped into my chariot...(okay, so it was my Trail Blazer...a girl can dream, can't she?)....
I arrived a few moments after six...the Capital Plaza, brightly lit, ladies being dropped off at the front door while their husbands parked the car...(me...yes, well...hottie husband is away with the National Guard for a few weeks, so I parked my car all by myself and walked the four flights of steps in the zero degree weather, in four inch heels I might add)...
I entered the atrium...overflowing with the "who's who" of Jefferson City, Missouri. Men stood in black tuxedos next to their wives who wore sequins and taffeta, sipping on their white wines and pink blushes...
I walked towards the coat check in, taking my place in the long line, watching the line grow behind me. I stood, Pendleton coat still on, rubbing elbows with the elite as I waited my turn to check in my own coat...
Take a deep breath folks....this is where it gets ugly...
As I advanced upon the check in counter I began to slowly gather my coat off my shoulders, releasing my right arm out of the coat, allowing the fabric to fall to the other side as I pulled the coat completely off....
wait for it....
Gentleman (who by the way is a local business owner and among what you might call the "elite" in JC): "Whoops..."
Lovely Lady (also a local business owner, married to the brother of said gentleman above): "Oh Betsy! Your dress!!!"
That's when I felt it...
The breeze.
Yes...static electricity is a wicked, wicked thing.
My grandmother's coat was FULL of static electricity, which in turn transferred to my dress...
and my dress was up around my waist....baring my assets...all of it.
*Remember inappropriate self disclosure above.....
Yep.
There was a full moon on Friday night...right there in the atrium of the Chamber Gala!
Oh my goodness, I just laughed so hard that my cat flew off my lap because it scared him so bad. Poor thing you!
ReplyDeletethere are no other words "OH MY GOSH" and I wonder if I should be learning a valuable less here!!!
ReplyDeleteWhere were the spanxs when you needed them?
ReplyDeleteOh, that old Britney Spears trick again. What an entrance!!! (no pun intended!)
ReplyDeleteOK, I would have gone home at that moment, but you stayed and had a wonderful time. That's one of the reasons I adore you. (and then you write and tell us so you can let us laugh at your tragedy!) Betsy - you're awesome!
Oh Besty, I am feeling your pain! But I do love LuAnn's post ... Britney Spears Entrance!!
ReplyDeleteYou never cease to amaze me. You have got to be the most confident woman I have ever met. I would have backed out when my husband wasn't there to go with me...well, i would have post-divorce. And you went anyway! Go Betsy! My next excuse would have been the coat ordeal...but, no, not Betsy...she just had a ball. I am so proud of you! And now there is another story to add to the highschool cheerleader one.
ReplyDeleteI wish I could have been there to witness that!;)
ReplyDeleteI am totally laughing WITH you!!