I expose a LOT about myself here on my "online diary." Does it make me uncomfortable to publish my flaws? Sometimes...but it also makes me very real. I have always been an "open book", so to speak, perhaps because as life continues I find that there are more and more people that face the same challenges, the same "what if''s" and the same fears that I confront. I have tested the practice of "keeping things to myself" and I have discovered that suppressing my challenges and my fears only multiplies and festers my affairs, causing a great depression or withdrawal from those that I love.
And so...I choose to share. I choose to shed light on my life situations as encouragement to others that can relate.
But, I also choose to share as a resolution to others as to why I am a nut! ;)
Tuesday evenings are a time set aside for me to meet with Dr. "Can-You-Fix-Crazy?" (my therapist). I L-O-V-E my Tuesday nights. It's an opportunity for me to "lay on the couch" and uncover my extremely active imagination and all that swirls around it without the fear of being judged, and as an added bonus, I am given solutions or tips, advice if you will, on how to better "calm" my thoughts. We dig deep sometimes to expose the roots of my quandaries....all of this for the low price of a $30 co-pay each week! What a deal!
When the situation is appropriate (whoa! when did I become worried about being appropriate?), I will share with you bits and pieces of my conversations with Dr. "Can-You-Fix-Crazy?" in a segment that I will title "Therapy Tuesday..."
Settle in, my friends...for the first official posting of "Therapy Tuesday", an actual conversation that the good Dr. and I engaged in earlier this evening:
Dr.: "Have you been working on visualizing placing your negative or overwhelming thoughts into a box and closing up the box?"
Me: "Sort of."
Dr.: "What do you mean 'sort of', how can you 'sort of' practice this technique?"
Me: "Um, well...actually, I came up with a different solution, and I'm finding it to be fairly effective."
Dr.: "Okay, how about you share your different solution, I'm interested."
Me: "Well, you see, when a negative or overwhelming thought enters into my mind, I sort of shake my head....like I'm saying 'no' and I visualize shaking the thought out of my head...."
Dr.: (expressionless and speechless for what seemed like ten to fifteen minutes)
*I honestly sat there thinking to myself that the good doctor was amazed at how efficient and incredibly talented I am in developing this new and improved technique. I was certain that she was going to ask me to sit in on other sessions and offer my intelligence as a cure to all of her patients....
I straightened my posture...ready to accept my praise.
Dr.: "So, let me get this straight. You have a negative thought, you shake your head 'no' and you visualize shaking that thought out of your head?" (she demonstrated my approach)...
Me: (all smiles, so proud) "That's it!"
Dr.: "And how is that working for you Betsy?"
Me: "Um, well...today, somebody told me that they think I've developed a nervous tick."
Dr.: "I'm shocked."
*I could be wrong, but I think she said that sarcastically.
Fine. I'll do it your way Dr. "Can-You-Fix-Crazy?" I'll visualize the box...
Next weeks session topic: How to control my newly developed tick.