This business of not being able to talk to hottie husband is really starting to tick me off...
I mean, I'm not trying to make it all about me, okay...I am making it all about me....
There are times that I REALLY need to talk to hottie husband....times I need to share with him the STUPID things I say and have him look deep into my eyes, wrap his arms around me and softly say, "Oh baby, that's why I married you...because you are so....funny like that."
And so I have decided that for the next few weeks I am going to "write" hottie husband...this way he can catch up when he returns.
Here is my first "letter":
Dear Hottie Husband,
Today I had the brilliant idea of calling around for estimates for someone to come clean up the scraps and remnants of wood and tile from the remodel downstairs. As you are well aware, this has really been a source of annoyance and stress for me over the past several weeks. I find it difficult to understand how you can possibly continue on the project with all this junk laying around.
I wanted to surprise you, having the basement all cleaned up and organized, upon your return home. Then we could finally put the finishing touches on our master bedroom and move the Willy Wonka bed out of our family room and life would return to normal!
I called X company this morning and a very nice, young gentleman answered the phone...this is how the conversation went, (pay very close attention here, my love...):
Contractor: "Thank you for calling X company, how may I help you?"
Me: "Good morning. My name is Betsy Dudenhoeffer (remind me NEVER to give my name up front like that EVER again...it could have saved me a TREMENDOUS amount of embarrassment...you will see why), and my husband and I are doing a sort of 'do it yourself' home remodel in our master bedroom."
Me: "Well, my problem is, this has been going on for almost two years now and I'm going crazy! My husband has been away a lot and now he is gone again for six weeks and I am wondering how much would it cost to have some big burly men come out with their big tools and finish up the job to satisfy me?"
Me: "Wait. Let me rephrase that...."
Very uncomfortable silence....
Me: "I think I just heard my doorbell, I'll call you back."
Me (inside my head): "Oh MY GOSH....I told him my name!"
And so dear hottie husband...I need you to once again flash me that darling smile of yours and tell me that the gentleman on the other end probably doesn't even remember what I said my name was, as you secretly laugh inside knowing that they grabbed a phone book and looked up our address.
Forever speaking out before thinking,