"Why do you always resort to the worst possible situation/outcome?"
"You have a lot of unhealthy thoughts up there, don't you?"
These are all things that various people have said to me over the years. It's no secret that my mind stumbles over the "what ifs" and "whys". For thirty-five years I've lived comfortably with thinking the worst, because the worst seems to be the repeated result in many of my life situations...
After a very brief conversation with hottie husband last night (he is away with the National Guard for the next few weeks) he informed me that I wouldn't hear from him for the remainder of his time away. This training course is very similar to boot camp and hottie husband isn't twenty-two any more...and it's no secret that he's a little over weight. This time around he feels defeated and he's trying his hardest to keep positive. Contact has been limited, therefore last night's conversation was likely our last until he returns home...
Of course this set my mind into overdrive....
"What if he is hurt?" "What if he's really in Iraq, fighting in the War and he doesn't come home?" "What if something happens to one of the boys and I can't get a hold of my husband?"....
A melt down was bound to happen...and at approximately 6:15 this morning, the tears spilled over.
The blessing in all of this is that I am now surrounded by people that love and care for me, not just my family, but people that I consider my spiritual mentor's...
I was challenged this morning to "take control of my thoughts..." Honestly, I didn't know what that meant...how does one control their thoughts? Is it easier said than done?
I've pondered this challenge all day...and I took it to my therapist, here is what she suggested:
"When the thoughts are overwhelming, create a visualization...visualize taking a box and putting all those thoughts into the box and closing it up."
Good advice...
I've taken it further....
Not only am I going to visualize taking my overwhelming thoughts and dumping them into a box and closing it up...I am also going to visualize handing that box over to Jesus for Him to hold for me. Jeremiah 6:16 This is what the LORD says: "Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls.
Here are the truths:
Jesus is not the author of confusion
Jesus wants to give me peace
Jesus will give me wisdom, I only need to ask
Everything else raging through my head and my heart are emotions, and cannot be trusted. I will focus on these truths...I will accept this challenge...
...through faith, I will surrender.
I am a "what iffer" as well. I tend to worry a lot about stuff that is out of my control. It is a good reminder to let go and let GOD. He is always in control and everything will be fine. Thanks for this blog today I needed it. I am heading for my pre-op stuff this afternoon and I have "what if" running through my mind. Have a good day!
ReplyDeleteGood for you. May I borrow that box for a while?
ReplyDeleteGreat advice. And just remember you don't have to keep taking the box back.
ReplyDeletewhat I do...when I start to worry, I tell Jesus "I am handing this to you...I can't handle it." When I catch myself worrying about it again...I repeat that. And sometimes I can't seem to stop and then I just try to pray longer until I can really hand it over. After about 10 times of handing it over, I don't take it back and am able to just leave it in his hands. Really practiced this alot the last four months. And at night, when it seems hardest, I turn on my praise cd and make myself concentrate on the words and sing it in my head with them. I fall asleep alot faster that way.
Love ya Betsy.
By the way, Arby's is calling our name.