Psychological Vomit (Otherwise Known As, "Crazy Talk")...

I was thinking...or, I had someone tell me recently, that I am an open book.  Right?  I mean, what you see is what you get...there are no secrets with me...or maybe it's I can't keep secrets...I'm pretty sure it's both.

Anyway...I was thinking that I already put my "life" out there for the world wide web to see...so why not go all the way and let you in on what I like to call, "Inside Betsy's Brain".

I'm going to be completely honest with you...I see a therapist.  I have for quite some time now.  Actually...I've shuffled through approximately four or five...then I found my *dream* therapist and life was fabulous...and then I scared her off she retired.  (As a side note, three of the four or five therapists would simply stare at me and shake their heads during a session...I'm really that crazy).  And so, once again I was on a mission to find yet another suitable therapist...someone that could listen to my psychological vomit and cure all my insecurities....and believe it or not...I found her (I'll keep her name confidential).

Typically on a Wednesday evening my family and I attend church...however...due to inclement weather, our church activities were canceled and so I immediately called Dr. "Can-you-fix-crazy?" and asked if she had an opening (by chance).  She did!  I went...(I always feel like smoking a cigarette afterwards...it's that good).

However...I'm starting to think that Dr. "Can-you-fix-crazy?" is beginning to give up on me...now she's starting to just stare at me and shake her head! 

So...I was thinking....I'm going to put my thoughts out there to you, dear peeps, and ask you....can you fix me?  ;)

Welcome to "Inside Betsy's Brain"...(this is where I share with you my "session" tonight and you tell me how you deal with all of this...or if you deal with all of this...or if you think I'm insane and totally incurable)...Buckle up...it's a bumpy ride....I’m over analytical...to the millionth degree.

(Dr. "Can-you-fix-me?" will be represented in the following "play back" by the acronym PsyD)

PsyD: "Hi Crazy Betsy! Happy New Year!"

Me: "Right. Let's cut right to the chase...do you think I'm likable?"

PsyD: "Can you share with me why this is a concern to you?"

Me: "So, you're saying that I'm not likable...that people don't like me?"

PsyD: "Actually Betsy, I have not answered your question...in fact, I asked you a question.  But I can see that you are a little tense this evening so I'll go ahead and answer your question and then you can answer mine...yes, I think you are extremely likable.  Now, can you please share with me why this is a concern to you?"

Me: "Extremely likable, huh....great.  That's good...right?  But wait, are you just saying that because you think I'm going to go all "Carrie" on you and use some sort of telekinetic powers and set you on fire or do you really mean that?"

PsyD: "Answer my question Betsy. Why are you concerned if I think you are likable?  Has something occurred recently to make you feel unlikeable?"

Me: "No. Yes. I mean, sort of....well, not really....but....I just want everyone to like me.  And yes, I think there is someone that does not like me.  So what should I do, should I ask this person if they like me or should I buy this person a gift, well...no, I can't do that because I promised hottie husband that I would be more frugal with our money this year...I know...how about I email this person...I'm pretty good at writing...I think I might be gifted with words....but then what if this person reads my email and then doesn't respond...then I'll know this person doesn't like me...but then what if this person just didn't have time to respond and then I think they don't like me, but they really do......"

PsyD: (glazed look) "Betsy..."

Me: "And then I was thinking that what if my client that told me that they think that I think that I am better than them is right...what if I do think I'm better...of course I don't, but what if my client doesn't know that? And by the way...that same client is who I *passed gas* in front of and so now they have to know that I don't think I'm better...I mean, I farted for crying out loud..."

PsyD: (suddenly alert) "Wait, you farted in front of a client?"

Me: "Don't distract me doc, and now I'm wondering did that client tell other people that I farted? What if those people are my clients, or they were prospects and now they don't want to see me because they think I have IBS or something...speaking of, do you know any good GI doctors?"

PsyD: "I'm still wondering why you farted in front of a client..."

Me:  "Seriously doc, stay with me.  I'm really trying to be a superstar at work" --

PsyD: "Wait, when did we start talking about work?"

Me: "Hello? I just told you I farted in front of a client....work....client...."

PsyD: "Right."

Me: "And so what do you think doc?"

PsyD:  "I think you should try Gas X before going to visit a client and that will make you more likable."

I'm back to square one...anyone know a good therapist?