If I Do Say So Myself....

I'm in love with my new header.....

I'm just sayin'

*THANK YOU NATALIE!!!  (Check Natalie out at Pampered Mom)

From The Gala, With Love....

That's my bestie, Jocelyn and me at the Chamber Gala.  The theme was "Chamber 117" (James Bond, but instead of 007 it was 117 signifying the 117th Annual Chamber Gala, clever, eh?).  I left early because my mother called me during the event to tell me the roads were really slick due to a snow storm (yes, I'm thirty-five and my mother STILL calls me to tell me to come home). 

*My title is my own clever play on the second James Bond movie title, "From Russia, With Love" circa 1963

Clearly The Police Radar Application On My IPhone Does NOT Work...

Who gets THREE traffic violations in ONE WEEK?  One speeding ticket and a ticket for failing to stop at a stop sign, last Thursday.  TODAY...another speeding ticket.  Total $420 PLUS attorney fees to take the points off my license!

So...I ask again...Who gets THREE traffic violations in ONE WEEK???

I do, that's who! 

Whatever!

I'm Flying The Freak Flag....

I'm sure that you have read about my obsession (I'm not using this word lightly, folks) with deodorant....I'm sure it is a result of my OCD with all things being clean, fresh, straight, white....

Well...I just hung my freak flag....

I have returned from Walmart...I needed deodorant....and just in case you haven't read about my obsession I have a fear of body odor.  And so, as a result of said fear, this is what I came home with tonight (and PS., this is a typical deodorant purchase for me)....

This should last me about two weeks....

*Why is my therapist never available when I REALLY need her?

Tumor Humor...

As a friend once said to me, "You certainly receive more than your fair share of struggles!"  That's an understatement...truly.

Last week at a routine eye appointment (I say "routine" however I actually scheduled the appointment before my yearly was due because I've been suffering from what I would classify as severe headaches and I felt that my vision had changed a bit), Dr. Sally asked me to follow up with my neurologist (remember, I have epilepsy...so I have an ongoing relationship with a neurologist) because my left optical nerve was "bulging" (as she put it).  Here's the conversation...(share with me if you find the humor in this as I did):

Dr. Sally:  "Hmmmm, I would like for you to see your neurologist.  Your left optical nerve is bulging."

Me:  "And?....Am I supposed to know what that means?"  (Okay, I wasn't quite that sarcastic)..."so, what does that mean?"

Dr. Sally:  "Well, I don't want to scare you or worry you....but it typically means there is a tumor"

Me:  "Oh....just a tumor?  No....that doesn't scare me or worry me...should it?!!"  (Again, I wasn't that sarcastic...but in all seriousness I wanted to pick up any sharp object I could find and hold it to a main vein of hers and ask her if that "scared" or "worried" her).  "Okay...I will see my neurologist as soon as I can get an appointment."

And so...on Thursday I had an MRI. 

Now...I don't know if you have ever had to have an MRI, but if you have ever watched a piece of luggage go through the airport security tunnel, that's pretty much what it is like (I'd be a piece of Gucci or Louis Vuitton luggage). 

At the MRI, after I had undressed, as to free me from any metal on my clothing that may interfere with the MRI machine, I was placed on the slab table and the technician kindly instructed me to "be very still throughout the MRI, this will take 30 minutes, the machine is very loud, please wear your headphones to help muffle some of the sound.  It is imperative that you lay still...do not move."  I gave the thumbs up and slowly I was inserted into the long, narrow tunnel.

Here comes the part that I can honestly say, "I can't make this s**t up"...

Twenty-eight minutes (28 minutes)....TWENTY-EIGHT minutes into the MRI...I heard what sounded like an out of this world space craft shut down....woosh....darkness.....silence. 

Next thing I know I am being pulled out and I'm starring into the (gorgeous) face of the male technician...he places his hand gently on my arm....

"Mrs. Dudenhoeffer, the MRI just shut down.  This has never happened.  We will need to reboot the machine and begin again.  I'm sorry."

All I heard was, "this has never happened" and I was quite certain that his "I'm sorry" was not going to help the rage that was boiling up inside me.  I had an "Are you there God?  It's me, Betsy" moment..."Ummm, hello, God?  Are you there?  Because I'm just curious what is going on....I mean, seriously....am I on some sort of 'Punked' episode and you are going to jump out in your white robe and berkenstocks, pointing and laughing as you say 'You've just been Punked!....cause I'll laugh, I promise."

No such luck...I was forced to "lay still" for ANOTHER 30 minutes...and of course during that time is when EVERY SINGLE part of my body itched!


But...that's not where our story ends, dear blog followers....

Friday morning the nurse from my doctor's office called my cell phone:

Nurse:  "Hello Ellyn, (remember, Ellyn is my real name) this is *nurse from Dr. Neurologist's office...Dr. Neurologist would like to speak to you in person regarding the results of your MRI, are you available for a consultation on Monday morning?" 

Me:  (looking at the clock as it reads 10 am on FRIDAY):  "Yes, I can come in on Monday morning...but in the  meantime, can you tell me if there was anything abnormal on the MRI?"

Nurse:  "Yes, everything about your head is abnormal" 

Nurse:  "I'm sorry, Dr. Neurologist will speak to you on Monday"

Me:  "Great.  In the meantime I will thoroughly enjoy my weekend.  Yes, I won't give one thought to the lingering tumor or not tumor, but since Dr. Neurologist wants to speak in person I'm guessing there is a tumor, so.....have a great weekend Nurse Ratchet!"  (okay, I didn't really say that).

Do you want to know the results?  I mean, it IS Monday...5:35 pm to be exact....

Drum roll please........

I do, in fact, have a tumor.  The tumor is on my left optical nerve.  Dr. Neurologist said something like "optic nerve meningioma," it's basically a small (it's the only time I won't pout that it's not all BANG and BIG) tumor on my left optic nerve and they are certain that it is benign.  I had several measurements and photos taken today to track the growth (or lack thereof, which would be a FANTASTIC thing).  I will see my neurologist every three months where he will make sure the tumor is NOT growing.  With this sort of tumor the treatment is just that...watching the tumor....no surgery...it's too risky.  However...if the tumor decides to go all "Hulk" on me, then the tumor will be removed and I would do radiation to prevent regrowth....

It could be worse...right?

And by the way...I TOTALLY intend to use this tumor....

Hottie Husband:  "I had a rough day at work today, I spilled fresh coffee all down my front and now I think I have second degree burns on my chest."

Me:  "Yeah, well, I have a tumor."

Happy 2nd Birthday Sophia!

My brother's little girl, Sophia, turned TWO on Friday!  I hosted a PINK-A-LICIOUS party!!  I have three boys...so hosting a PINK party for my niece was MY pleasure!  LOVE HER!

Enjoy!



Sophia's 2nd Birthday from Betsy Dudenhoeffer on Vimeo.

This Is TOTALLY My Kind Of Travel...

Last week my sales manager booked my flight to New York in February...

Now, if only he could have booked me on this flight...I wouldn't be so afraid to fly.  Honestly, is a "Hello Kitty" flight ever going to crash? 

I'm just sayin'

A Word To The Wise...

Don't wear big, hoop earrings when you work out...

I almost chipped a tooth.

All The Scholar Ladies...

A fellow blogger friend of mine The Seven Spot, posted the video below on Monday.  I wanted to share with all of you...

These are students at the Hope Christian School in Milwaukee.  If you are not familiar with Beyonce (pop singer extraordinaire), she released a #1 single titled, "All The Single Ladies."  The students at Hope Christian School created their own version of the hit song, "All The Scholar Ladies"....TOO CUTE!  What an awesome and creative way to encourage kids that education IS important!

“Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.” Matthew 5:7

While I was doing some reading about God’s love and grace, I was struck by the immensity of God’s love for us, the enormity of His Grace and what He has already provided…in the Bible I see the love of God manifested…many live lives in defeat (I include myself) not knowing the provisions that God has given. There are many blessings which He has provided for us that we either do not know, or simply overlook…and sadly at times, we forget…

In the last couple of weeks, I have felt the need to look back to the cross…I feel like the Lord is calling me to remember, it is like He is telling me that there I will find my answers to my doubts and to my questions…my low self esteem causes me to think of myself as useless in the hands of God, I look at my life and feel that God deserves more of me. I know that often I allow myself to be lead by my emotions instead of the Truth…but praise be to God that He shows me the way. In the last few days the Lord has shown me things that I did not see before, things that have now come alive, maybe helped by the experiences that I am going through (sometimes we have to go through something in order to fully understand what God says). It has helped me view myself in part as God sees me, as a work in progress...

Forgiveness...it is such a beautiful word, and yet...so very ugly at the same time.  Forgiveness is something I have struggled with...my entire life, and I only just now realize how this eleven letter word has consumed my every breath.  Forgiveness has held me back...

And last night I remembered...only God knows what is in our hearts and there He sees our true need, and God did see...

The words circled my every thought...As God forgives us, so should we forgive...

And then I realized...forgiveness is a gift from God...it is up to me (us) to claim it. 

And so I did.  I claimed my gift of forgiveness...and now I walk in the light with Jesus.

Down South...

*Parental Guidance is advised.

Help me out here.  I have three boys.  Testosterone seeps from the walls of my home...I often feel as if I'm living in a fraternity house (which isn't too far off from my college days...oops, another inappropriate self disclosure). 

Anyway...three boys...one teenager, two "tweens". 

Here's my issue...my youngest is OBSESSED with his penis.  Okay, has the shock worn off?  Look, don't come by my blog and expect me to sugar coat anything...I'm a "say it like it is" kinda gal, so yes...I said penis.  And that's the issue...hottie husband is APPALLED that I refer to my child's private parts as a "penis", but ummm, isn't that the word?  "Can't you refer to it as a 'weenie' or his 'pee pee'?" hottie husband pleads with me with a trace of alarm in his voice after I had just yelled at Benjamin to quit grabbing his penis.  I stood and starred at hottie husband..."seriously?"

Growing up in my strict, religious household, I vowed to always be open and honest with my kids. I promised myself that my own children would not have to learn where babies came from by way of the twice held back fourth grader as I myself learned from Amy Pavitt, who demonstrated the miracle of life for me via a graphic explanation and visual aid, using a stick and drawing in the dirt on the playground during recess. At age nine, I found the whole scenario to be shocking and quite disturbing!

A few short weeks later, after school my mother told me she had left some "educational reading" for me in my bedroom. Laying on my bed were two pamphlets, the kind you'd order from the back of the Kotex box. One was called "Menstruation," and the other was "Puberty and Body Image." I flipped through them casually and tossed them aside. Later my mother asked if I'd had any questions, "it's nothing I didn't already know" I assured her, too embarrassed to have the "talk" with my mother. She was mortified. The subject was never brought up again.

Or...there was the time I got my first period in the eighth grade, and shyly telling my mother about it - her only instructions were to help myself to the pads under her bathroom sink and to take a daily shower so I felt "clean and fresh" (I am certain this is where my OCD began).  Or the time my mother found a box of Tampax in my bedroom, and in a dead-on Mommy Dearest voice, as though she had discovered a box of condoms and a bottle of vodka under my bed, asked me what the hell those things were and what I was doing with them. I was fifteen, and excuse me, but I hadn't yet realized that tampons were the "devil's way of stealing my virginity," but that encounter ensured a healthy fear of internal female protection for many years...

And that sums up my "sexual education" from my parents...I cannot allow my children to have the same insecurities and shame about the human body that I grew up with...I won't let that happen.


So, my point in all of this is, it's called a penis...why not call it a penis?  Am I right?  Yes, it is awkward...but what about parenting isn't awkward? 

Do you agree?  Or do you have "nicknames?"  I would love to hear your thoughts, and if you don't agree with me, then don't bother leaving a comment...(Just kidding). 

Today Is The Day....

For the past several weeks my youngest,  Benjamin, has expressed an interest to both myself and hottie husband in what it means to be "saved" and what happens when someone is baptized.  Benjamin watched both hottie husband and me get baptized last year in May, and recently he watched his big brother, Hayden, get baptized in December.  Naturally, he was curious.  And so, for the past several weeks, hottie husband and I have been talking with Benjamin about accepting Jesus Christ into your heart, praying to Jesus Christ to forgive you of your sins and the desire to live a life that is pleasing to Jesus Christ.  We have shared with him that it is important to develop and grow a personal relationship with Jesus Christ (somewhat of a challenging conversation to have with an eight year old, as he didn't understand how you can have a relationship with someone you can't see).  We have read versus in the Bible with Benjamin and we marvel at the incredible questions he asks, "mommy, why did God let his son Jesus die?  Why didn't God stop the bad people from hurting his son?"

This morning as our family scrambled around getting breakfast, ironing clothes, doing what is necessary to get ready for church, Benjamin stood in the shower, curtain pulled as I poised myself in front of the mirror above the sink applying my makeup..."mommy?" Benjamin softly asked..."today is the day."  I picked up my hairbrush and began to stroke my freshly washed hair, "today is the day for what Benjamin?"  I heard the cap of the shampoo bottle snap shut, "the day that I want to go forward and tell Pastor Mark that I have accepted Jesus Christ into my heart."  I set my hairbrush on the bathroom sink "ok," ...it's all I could come up with, I was overwhelmed with love and pride for my child, my baby of all my babies who had come to the decision and understanding to accept Christ as his Lord and Savior. 

The next few moments I stood...still and silent...looking back at my reflection in the mirror...a million thoughts raced through my mind, but the one thought that cycled back around was the thought that I am exactly where I want to be.  I am so full of passion for Jesus Christ, so full of love and so very thankful for what He has done in my life and where His plan has brought me to, that I now stand with my son of eight years old and he has made the most important decision in his life...to follow Jesus Christ.  And he understands what it means...and he has watched what the love of Christ can do in someones life...he watched his own mother and father transform in the beauty of Christ and become two completely different people.  And Benjamin wanted that...

And so, today was the day!  After our church service Benjamin walked in front of the congregation and whispered to Pastor Mark that he had accepted Jesus Christ in his heart as his Lord and Savior! 

"Today is the day, You have made, I will rejoice and be glad in it!"

I "Better" Explain...

Scene: Kitchen table, I am dressed in footed pajamas (I am freezing ALL the time, quite a switch from 24 hour hot flashes just a few months ago).  Hottie husband sits in his blue jeans, National Guard pull over and tightly laced New Balance tennis shoes.  Both of us sit at our personalized laptops (his is blue, mine is....wait for it....pink)....

Hottie Husband:  "Um, Bets...I'm looking at the checking account online...."

Me:  (I pretend to be deeply engrossed in some sort of worldly news, when in reality I'm catching up on People.com, appalled at Kate's hair extensions...don't know who Kate is?  Why not?)

Hottie Husband:  "Bets?  Did you hear me?"

Me:  "Baby, would you like me to make you some breakfast? Eggs, Bacon, Toast?" (said in a Marilyn Monroe breathy voice....sexy...it usually does the trick)

Hottie Husband:  "Right...you know what I'm about to say, don't you?"

Me:  "Ummmm, that you like your eggs over medium?"

Hottie Husband:  "No."

Me:  "Strawberry jelly on your toast?"

Hottie Husband:  "Bets...I thought you said that in 2010 you were going to be better about your spending."

Me:  "Seriously?  Honey...I've been WAY better at my spending so far..."

Hottie Husband:  "Hmmm...okay.  It's just that I thought when you said 'better' you meant 'less', I didn't realize you meant you would buy better stuff."

Me:  "oh...my bad.  I should have explained that better."

Hottie Husband:  "Yes.  Now, hand over the debit card...I'll take 'better' care of it"

Dang it.

Sticks & Stones May Break Your Bones, But Bruises...They Last Forever!

I'm calling sabotage.  You heard me.  I'm on to your little game...you work for a competing printing company, don't you?  You have watched me excel in my sales abilities, throwing my impeccable customer service skills out for clients to drool over...

I probably took a client away from you...my personality is hard to compete with....but this?  This was harsh...

First you sabotaged my bean burrito...you know my weak stomach and you waited until the perfect opportunity, my Christmas candy delivery to my favorite client.  Okay, so I passed gas...you won...so what?!  That same client turned around and bought me a watch for Christmas, saying I'm the best print sales representative he's ever had!  So that joke's on you...whoever you are.

But this time...this time you left a mark.  You knew I was going to wear my three inch heels today...you probably created the ice on the steps in front of my clients office....wait, it snowed last week....okay, so you didn't create the ice....BUT...you knew I would fall...my feet slipping right out from under me, tossing me down three steps and into a muddy heap of melting snow...right on my fanny.

Are you happy?  I'll admit, my pride was hurt and yes, I did cry.  But the mark you left...well, it will take weeks to heal...

There goes any opportunity for me to wear my hot shorts to morning workouts!  Shame on you!

PS...I totally shaved my legs for the sole purpose of this photo.  You're welcome.  ;)

I Need A Savior...(Part Two)

Lord, I ask for your help through trying circumstances. Bless me with Godly wisdom to recognize the right decision. Help me to see others as you see them. Remind me today that Your Word says that You will fight for me and I shall feel Your peace. Let nothing come my way today that causes me to feel less compassion, less sympathy for others. Help me to not be judgemental, causing me to think I am better than what I am. Give me the words, the wisdom and the courage to do right by you.  There are times when I do not realize that circumstances are leading me to react in a harsh, potentially hurtful way...I ask that you help me during this time so that you, in me, will win the day! I thank you Lord, that I can come before you with assurance of Your love. I thank you for understanding my plight as a human. I thank you for understanding my need for you, my Savior.

An Officer And A Gentlemen

Hottie Husband just found out that he will be leaving for ANOTHER extended "training" with the National Guard.  I use the word "training" loosely...as several men bunking together and playing with guns and helicopters sounds like a whole lot of trouble to me.

I'm just sayin'

#98 & #99...

I cannot BELIEVE this!...on my list of 100 things about me (below) I left out #98 and #99!!  It took my good friend LuAnn to point this out!!

And now....so you don't feel cheated....

#98 I am a cancer survivor, five times!  I have battled skin cancer five separate times, and have the scar to prove it!

#99 In less than a year (2009) I was diagnosed with Epilepsy, skin cancer (for the 5th time), Type II diabetes and a heart murmur.

There you have it...truly 100 things about me!  ;)

Trusting In God...

This mornings sermon was delivered by one of our church members, as Pastor Mark was on his way home from a wedding in Texas.  The message this morning was about trusting in God...it's so much easier said than done, agreed?  I have spent the better part of the afternoon reflecting on this morning's sermon and I keep coming back to the same thought...do I trust in God completely? Or do I only trust in God when things are going my way?  Of course when everything is happy, or daily life seems easy, or money is abundant, it's easy to trust in God, but what about when someone you love passes away?  Or what about when you loose your job, or a family member falls ill?  Is it easy to trust in God during the difficult times?  I know that I am guilty of questioning God's plan, especially when it comes to my step-father, a man who is a hero to me, someone I think is as good as Christ would want him to be and yet, he suffers from Multiple Sclerosis and I watch him struggle every day.  Perhaps we need evidence to make trusting in God easier...

That being said, there are plenty of instances of God's provision in the Bible, or in biographies of believers, or in the experience of people and events around me, especially in His involvements in the lives of Christians.  But most importantly...I have experienced God's groundwork in my own life, I still am!  No one and nothing has ever provided me with the love that I feel from God.  He has filled a void in my soul, in my heart, in my everyday life...

But still, my flesh does not completely trust...and I have come to the understanding that I tend to not trust in God when I focus on the things I don't have....and that is when my faith becomes important.  Faith begins with believing and reading in God's word, spending time with God, which in turn leads to trusting in Him more. 

And then I imagine how God felt watching His beloved, adored Son being tortured beyond recognition and then crucified and dying from a broken heart....I think about how God suffered...how He trusted.

What if I stop living life as it is mine and start living life as it is His?  If my life is His, then the logical thing for me to do is to let Him live it...do you understand?  Trust would come easy, right?

But it's not easy, and nobody ever said it would be.  That's why we need each other...we need to encourage one another, cheer one another on in the Faith.  We need to believe. We need to know that God loves us.  He is good and will accomplish all for us. 

Listen to His voice. Open your heart. Tell Him that you don't understand...be truthful.  Trusting in God does not come overnight, it is not sold in a bottle...it takes time, Faith and Hope.

New Me, New List (Sort Of)...

As a work exercise a few years ago at a job I am no longer a part of, the sales team was asked to write down 100 things about themselves.  I found my list yesterday and reread my 100 things...the list was from 2005...and I shook my head, ashamed at what my priorities were back then...what I felt was most important...like partying, favorite bars...

And so, I'm updating my list...and I'm sharing with you (after all, sharing about myself is my favorite thing)!  ;)  I challenge you to do the same!  I would LOVE to read 100 things about YOU!  If you have a blog, post your 100 things...if you want to share with me, but in a more private way, email me at ggiglesandbits@gmail.com!


100 Things About Me


1. My name is Ellyn Elizabeth Hockaday (Fine) Dudenhoeffer

2. I go by Betsy

3. When I was little I wanted my name to be Penny

4. I love(d) my maiden name, Fine

5. I loved my high school years

6. I have awesome Christian friends that came into my life at just the right time

7. My faith is extremely important to me, I am working on building and maintaining a relationship with Jesus Christ

8. I had a best friend when I was seven that died of cancer

9. My Aunt Stephanie is one of my very best friends

10. I love my mother very much

10. My mother makes me crazy sometimes

11. My step dad’s name is Erwin

12. I love my step dad very much, he’s the best thing to ever happen to my family

13. I miss my grandma Czarlinsky more than anything in the world

14. My grandma was my best friend

15. My grandma always believed in me and helped me realize who I am and where I want to go in life

16. Mark (my husband) is the best thing that has ever happened to me

17. I love to laugh

18. People love my laugh

19. I do movie reviews on the radio

20. I love the movies

21. Some movies are life changing for me

22. My favorite movie is Moulin Rouge

23. My favorite actor is Kevin Spacey

24. My favorite actress is Merrell Streep

25. I love Mexican food

26. I love chocolate

27. I have very low self esteem

28. I love Oprah

29. I have seen Oprah in person on stage

30. I have met Arnold Schwarzenegger

31. My dream is to be on Broadway someday

32. My favorite Broadway play is Wicked

33. I saw Wicked on Broadway in New York City in February of last year

34. I have three sisters

35. My sisters names are Jordan, Brendan and Abigail

36. I have a brother named Cal

37. My sister Jordan and I have become very close over the past few years

38. My brother has two children, Sophia age 2 and Henry age 1

39. My sister Abigail is my real father and step mother’s daughter, she lives in Virgina

40. My sister Brendan has special needs and came close to dying at birth

41. I get jealous very easily

42. I am easily entertained

43. I love to shop

44. I love shoes, I have approximately 200 pairs of shoes

45. I wish there was a pill that I could take that would make me skinny in one night

46. I work in sales

47. I am extremely social

48. I have impeccable customer service skills

48. I have had more jobs than I can count (all have been better opportunities)

49. The job I have now is the longest I have ever been at one place (almost 3 years)

50. I love music

51. My favorite musician is Sarah McLaughlin and Natalie Grant

52. My favorite song is “When We Danced” from Stealing Home and "I Need A Savior" by Among The Thirsty

53. I have a lazy eye

54. I have worn glasses or contacts since I was four years old

55. I have always been self conscience about my looks

56. If I could meet someone, dead or alive, I would like to meet Oprah and Betsy Ross

57. My favorite color is Pink

58. My eyes are hazel some days, and grayish blue others

59. I like my hair, most days

60. I have metal in my back and in my jaw

61. I have serious sleep issues

62. I have a dog named Louie, he’s a beagle

63. I have OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder)

64. I like instant gratification

65. I crave attention

66. I like to be the center of attention

67. I love to sing

68. I love to take hot showers

69. I love a new bar of soap

70. I have a sickness when it comes to deodorant…I buy anywhere from 5-10 bottles at a time

71. I love perfume, and sometimes wear too much

72. I have a fear of body odor

73. I hate spiders

74. I am afraid of midgets…seriously, I become paralyzed…no offense

75. I am a Baptist

76. I love to hear about other people’s religion, it fascinates me!

77. I love naps

78. I love tulips

79. I have secret crushes

80. I am very emotional

81. I am a romantic

82. I daydream

83. I love to take pictures

84. I collect picture frames

85. I love scented candles

86. I love my house even though it’s very small

87. I am addicted to Young and the Restless and Grey’s Anatomy

88. One of my favorite t.v. shows is American Idol

89. My favorite ice cream is mint chocolate chip from Baskin Robbins and Peppermint Stick from Central Dairy

90. My husband and I have connected more in the last year than we ever have and I cherish our time together and our conversations

91. I saw New Kids on the Block when I was in high school

92. I have learned that my past was necessary for me to appreciate the presence of Christ in my life

93. I want to be rich and never have to worry about where the money will come from when the unexpected happens

94. One of my goals is to finish college, and I will

95. I am smart

96. I am easily embarrassed....hard to believe, but true

97. People think I am fearless, but I am not

100. I am a new Christian, I became saved in February of 2009

If The Socks Fit...

I have a friend that is a fairly new friend, she came into my life a little over two years ago.  She is someone I aspire to be like, someone I can depend on, someone whose advice I will follow and she is someone I have claimed as one of my spiritual mentors.  This friend is older than me, not by much...certainly wiser, more experienced and a lot more mature.  She is the epitome of what a true christian should be and a role model to me as a mother, a wife and a friend.  She taught me the meaning of being "saved" and developing a relationship with Jesus Christ. 

Last year I traveled to New York City four times for my job, February, May, July and October.  February was my first experience in New York City.  My friend was with me on every trip except in July.  You see, my friend is the wife of my boss.  But I think of her more as my friend than the wife of my boss, and I'm certain she feels the same.

The significance of Becky traveling to New York City with me is that on two different occasions she loaned me a pair of her socks.  At the time I had every intention of returning Becky's socks to her...but then something happened.  One day, home from New York, I was rushing to get to work and I couldn't find a pair of socks...and then I remembered that Becky's socks were in my purse to return to her.  I pulled the socks from my purse and put them on thinking that I'd had them since the week before, she wouldn't miss them another day. 

Later that day I was in a situation where temptation was mighty (by the way, just because I'm a christian doesn't mean I don't struggle with temptation on a daily basis...because I do...the difference is now I have Jesus on my side to help me make the right decisions).  Admittedly, the wrong choice was the easiest choice, it would have brought excitement and it would have made me feel "liked" or even loved....and I was so ready to make the wrong choice.  And then suddenly I remembered I was wearing Becky's socks...not something that would typically come to mind...the socks I was wearing....but the thought of Becky's socks on my feet hit me like a ton of bricks....followed by the thought process of "what choice would Becky make in this situation?" sort of a "what would Jesus do?" moment.  And that is when I made the right choice...it was hard, but I did it! 

And so that evening when I was undressing from the day, I took off the socks that are Becky's and I placed them in my laundry basket....with no intention of giving them back to Becky.  :)

You see...I wear the socks...I wash the socks every night and I wear them every day...because Becky is an inspiration to me, she makes me want to be a better person, she brought me to Jesus and she loves me unconditionally.  She is the epitome of what a christian should be...and when I wear her socks I feel that much closer to being just like her!

Psychological Vomit (Otherwise Known As, "Crazy Talk")...

I was thinking...or, I had someone tell me recently, that I am an open book.  Right?  I mean, what you see is what you get...there are no secrets with me...or maybe it's I can't keep secrets...I'm pretty sure it's both.

Anyway...I was thinking that I already put my "life" out there for the world wide web to see...so why not go all the way and let you in on what I like to call, "Inside Betsy's Brain".

I'm going to be completely honest with you...I see a therapist.  I have for quite some time now.  Actually...I've shuffled through approximately four or five...then I found my *dream* therapist and life was fabulous...and then I scared her off she retired.  (As a side note, three of the four or five therapists would simply stare at me and shake their heads during a session...I'm really that crazy).  And so, once again I was on a mission to find yet another suitable therapist...someone that could listen to my psychological vomit and cure all my insecurities....and believe it or not...I found her (I'll keep her name confidential).

Typically on a Wednesday evening my family and I attend church...however...due to inclement weather, our church activities were canceled and so I immediately called Dr. "Can-you-fix-crazy?" and asked if she had an opening (by chance).  She did!  I went...(I always feel like smoking a cigarette afterwards...it's that good).

However...I'm starting to think that Dr. "Can-you-fix-crazy?" is beginning to give up on me...now she's starting to just stare at me and shake her head! 

So...I was thinking....I'm going to put my thoughts out there to you, dear peeps, and ask you....can you fix me?  ;)

Welcome to "Inside Betsy's Brain"...(this is where I share with you my "session" tonight and you tell me how you deal with all of this...or if you deal with all of this...or if you think I'm insane and totally incurable)...Buckle up...it's a bumpy ride....I’m over analytical...to the millionth degree.

(Dr. "Can-you-fix-me?" will be represented in the following "play back" by the acronym PsyD)

PsyD: "Hi Crazy Betsy! Happy New Year!"

Me: "Right. Let's cut right to the chase...do you think I'm likable?"

PsyD: "Can you share with me why this is a concern to you?"

Me: "So, you're saying that I'm not likable...that people don't like me?"

PsyD: "Actually Betsy, I have not answered your question...in fact, I asked you a question.  But I can see that you are a little tense this evening so I'll go ahead and answer your question and then you can answer mine...yes, I think you are extremely likable.  Now, can you please share with me why this is a concern to you?"

Me: "Extremely likable, huh....great.  That's good...right?  But wait, are you just saying that because you think I'm going to go all "Carrie" on you and use some sort of telekinetic powers and set you on fire or do you really mean that?"

PsyD: "Answer my question Betsy. Why are you concerned if I think you are likable?  Has something occurred recently to make you feel unlikeable?"

Me: "No. Yes. I mean, sort of....well, not really....but....I just want everyone to like me.  And yes, I think there is someone that does not like me.  So what should I do, should I ask this person if they like me or should I buy this person a gift, well...no, I can't do that because I promised hottie husband that I would be more frugal with our money this year...I know...how about I email this person...I'm pretty good at writing...I think I might be gifted with words....but then what if this person reads my email and then doesn't respond...then I'll know this person doesn't like me...but then what if this person just didn't have time to respond and then I think they don't like me, but they really do......"

PsyD: (glazed look) "Betsy..."

Me: "And then I was thinking that what if my client that told me that they think that I think that I am better than them is right...what if I do think I'm better...of course I don't, but what if my client doesn't know that? And by the way...that same client is who I *passed gas* in front of and so now they have to know that I don't think I'm better...I mean, I farted for crying out loud..."

PsyD: (suddenly alert) "Wait, you farted in front of a client?"

Me: "Don't distract me doc, and now I'm wondering did that client tell other people that I farted? What if those people are my clients, or they were prospects and now they don't want to see me because they think I have IBS or something...speaking of, do you know any good GI doctors?"

PsyD: "I'm still wondering why you farted in front of a client..."

Me:  "Seriously doc, stay with me.  I'm really trying to be a superstar at work" --

PsyD: "Wait, when did we start talking about work?"

Me: "Hello? I just told you I farted in front of a client....work....client...."

PsyD: "Right."

Me: "And so what do you think doc?"

PsyD:  "I think you should try Gas X before going to visit a client and that will make you more likable."

I'm back to square one...anyone know a good therapist?

Working Out For The Good Of Our Community...

Several women at my church (along with me) are joining together for a weight loss challenge.  Here's the really cool thing...not only are we exercising together and watching what we eat and holding one another accountable...BUT...for every pound each of us looses, we will add a can of food (or some sort of non perishable food item) into a box and at the end of every month we will donate the food to the Samaritan Center!

Too cool, huh?

Wanna join the fun??  Let me know...we would LOVE for you to participate!

Seventy Percent...

Pastor Mark revealed a shocking statistic during this morning's sermon.

70% (SEVENTY PERCENT!) of the teenage population said that their parents are the most influential people in their lives. SEVENTY PERCENT!

I would have bet my next paycheck that the teenage population would have answered, "peers" or "media" as the most influential people in their lives, wouldn't have you?

SEVENTY PERCENT!

I looked over at my three boys, and my heart ached. The first thought that went through my head was my middle son, nine years old, sitting next to me in the car in May of last year..."mommy, I like our family now. I like you better this way...I like our church and the music we listen to. I like that you and daddy are together."

What sort of influence was I to my children before I accepted Christ? What was I teaching to my children by sleeping in on Sundays...never darkening the door at a church. What did my children think a marriage was...while I was out with people ten years my junior, not married, no children...leaving my husband at home to care for our children, our home and our life? Never was a Bible opened in our home. Never was a prayer recited at our table...in fact, we never ate as a family. What kind of example was I setting?

And then another thought occurred to me...what sort of influence was I for my children when they saw Christ take a hold of me? Did my children see the change that took place? Yes...they see Christ in me every single day. Now my three boys see me get out of bed on Sunday mornings, eager to walk through the door of the church we adore! My three boys see me raise my hands during worship as I sing "thank you" to my Father. My three boys watch me as I open my Bible and write down some of my favorite verses, memorizing them to use at a time I might need extra strength. My three boys watch as my husband and I love one another more than we have loved one another before..they watch us laugh...they watch us grow together spiritually.

My three boys see me stumble...but they also watch me take a hold of Christ's hand and use Him to help me stand back up. My three boys are watching as I walk this Faith journey...and that is all I could ask for.

"Where will our country find leaders with integrity, courage, strength—all the family values—in ten, twenty, or thirty years? The answer is that you are teaching them, loving them, and raising them right now."

--Barbara Bush

2009 In Photos...

Make sure your volume is up...songs are by Sarah Reeves, "Sweet Sweet Sound" and Brandon Heath, "I'm Not Who I Was".

Year 2009 from Betsy Dudenhoeffer on Vimeo.

Too Big To Fail...

Yesterday on Fox & Friends...my dad debates against some guy that looks like he starred in "Lord of the Rings."


Too Big to Fail

This Time It Could Really Work...

It's the first day of the first month in the new year...do you know what that means?

Day one of weight loss!  Whoo-Hoo!  How long will it last this year?

Strawberries with non fat whipping cream...serving size = 12.  Weight Watchers points = 1

This could last a while!  YUMMO!