Dear Oprah...

Dear Oprah,

I loved you in The Color Purple, but that's not why I am writing.

I know you are busy with your magazine and the girls leadership academy, the talk show and the Angel Network enterprises. I feel your schedule. Believe me. I imagine Stedman needs your attention just as badly as my husband needs mine and that you accumulate laundry and trash and shoes the way I do too. But if you have a tiny moment, I would truly appreciate it if you could return some of my emails or respond to my many, many written letters. It is simply rude to continue to ignore my requests for a dream home, a new car, the shoes you don't wear any longer, or even the simple request to be a guest on your show (I am after all a celebrity too, have you heard of Betsy At The Movies?)!

Next week when I submit my weekly email on your website listing reasons why I should be a guest on your show or why I deserve to have a celebrity chef move in with me for a year, I do not want to receive another generic and meaningless response from someone on your staff! Please, my dear friend O (we are on a nickname basis now), please personally respond yourself! And when you do, be sure to include several open date options for me to choose from to appear on your show...as I am a very busy girl trying to make my own path through the interweb, the office, the P-freaking -TA, the city and the world!

Air kisses & high fives,

Betsy Dudenhoeffer aka Betsy At The Movies