I have loved everyone's prayers and encouragement...
...I have needed everyone's prayers and encouragement.
So many of my friends and family have shared with me what an inspiration I have been...
..."always so upbeat and positive"
...."always a smile"
"you've been so strong!"
...the truth is,
I. feel. weak.
Of course I'm "upbeat", "smiling", "positive" and "strong" out there...
...it's what people who know me expect me to be.
But in here...
...inside my home...behind closed doors...
I cry. I bargain with God. I scream "it's not fair!" I feel numb. I get angry.
...But I believe in God's plan enough to know that while I am hurting, I am also healing...
in two very powerful ways...
physically...
...and spiritually.
I was told to go ahead and express my anger to Him, then to lay it at His feet...that His shoulders are more than big enough to handle it and it doesn't hurt HIS feelings. He already knows the pain and anger we feel anyways. I love you and I am proud of you...if you need to let us do that for you right now, we are willing. Especially me...b/c after all, you are still doing the same thing for me!
ReplyDeleteIt's ok to be weak with Him. He's strong for you. blessings, marlene
ReplyDelete