Thursday, June 3, 2010

Masked Panties...

A girlfriend of mine bought me a gift certificate to a local tanning salon for three spray tan sessions!  What a FABULOUS idea, right?  She knows that I feel better about myself when I am tan, and she also knows that having skin cancer seven times, currently battling melanoma, I am under strict orders to stay away from tanning beds...

Last week I called the tanning salon to set up my first spray tan session.  I was given instructions to shower before hand, shave all the unwanted hair, and exfoliate my body.  Do not apply any lotions or sprays, wear old clothing and bring something to pull my hair back off of my face.

I have never been to this particular tanning salon, so all of this was very new to me.  I was already feeling a bit uncomfortable about having to stand in the nude while the tanning technician spray "paints" my body, so I felt really uneasy when I walked into the booth and the lady asked me to undress saying, "if you would like to wear panties you may do so."  Duh, of course I would like to wear panties...I just didn't realize she meant my own...

let me explain.

The tanning technician wears a surgical mask while she spray "paints"...that mask was laying on a chair inside the booth.

Do you see where this is going?


I began to undress, taking off ALL my clothing and neatly folding it over the chair and I picked up the mask... (okay, I guess I'm going to have to spell this out to you...I thought the mask was the "panties" the technician was referring to when she said "if you would like to wear panties you may do so")....

and I put the mask on.

Down there.

And then the tanning technician walked in.... was right about that time that I realized the mask wasn't for me (you should have seen the look on her face)!

To make a long story short, I excused myself and quickly redressed.  I was too humiliated to stay.

No spray tan for me...

And no offense to my dear friend that gave me the gift certificate, but I totally re-gifted it to another friend.  I won't be going to that tanning salon.  Ever. Again.

And as a side note, it took me a good ten minutes to figure out how in the world to put on that mask...think about it...the "leg holes" are on the felt really uncomfortable and I kept thinking, "stupid skinny girls!"


  1. I don't know who's laughing harder, the quilter or the blacksmith. Sorry if that's TMI!!!!

  2. I have not laughed that hard in a long time. The tears were rolling down my face! :)

  3. That is a GREAT story!!! I don't blame you for not wanting to go back, though. I can see how that would happen. Sometimes, when you go some place like that, they assume you've been there before, and it is an odd concept. That's still a fantastic story!

  4. Betsy, I really needed a laugh after the day I've had, and this had me rolling! Thanks for being brave enough to not only "wear" the mask, but to write about it!!

  5. Oh my goodness! I'm sorry but it is so funny-and so like something I would do too : )

  6. sounds reasonable to me...who would want to ruin their own panties with orange. Hey, were wearing panties??!?!?!?

  7. I've read your latest 3 posts today - I was a bit behind. :) You've made me laugh and you've made me cry. I think if you lived close to me we'd be best friends! Or at least I'd want us to be!