Seriously, who started this as a "family pet" phenomenon? Can someone tell me what in the world a hermit crab does? It doesn't cuddle. It doesn't fetch. It doesn't purr. It doesn't roll over and let you rub it's belly....
So what's the big deal?
I don't get it.
...but I digress...
"Mr. Crabs" (come on, did you honestly think we would have a hermit crab and NOT name it after something Sponge Bob Square Pants?) plastic cage was accidentally knocked off of Benjamin's dresser and it cracked...leaving Mr. Crabs free to roam the home....
....no way, not happening.
So....I immediately jumped into the trailblazer and drove to Target (ummm, hello??? Wouldn't Target be the first place you would think of for pet supplies?)
After aimlessly wandering the entire (said sarcastically) two isles devoted to household pets I decided to approach the sixteen year old Target employee that was marking down expired pet food (nice).
Me: "Excuse me. Can you help me?"
Target Employee: "Sure. What can I help you find?"
Me: "Can you tell me where you keep the stuff for crabs?"
Target Employee (face as red as his Target polo): "Ummmmm, you might check with the pharmacy...."
Me: "Yeah, not those kind of crabs buddy."
(then I waved my wedding ring in his face, just for extra measure)