Saturday, July 3, 2010

Rebuilding Trust...

I was seven years old when the meaning of the word "trust" changed for me...

...although I was too young to even know.

Although I am not to blame, I was left to deal with the pain...
...and twenty-nine years later, the pain still weighs heavy on my heart.

This week I was encouraged to take time to be angry, to grieve...

and afterwards...(most importantly)...

...to forgive and feel the freedom of Christ.

I  am ashamed to admit that I was angry with God...I wasn't trusting in Him completely.  I was pushing Him away from my pain...

...slowly I am allowing God to heal me...

I am understanding that my Heavenly Father chose me, made me, has a plan for me, and will never leave me...

...He is strong...

...He desires to have a relationship with me. 

"The blessing of the Lord makes rich
and he adds no sorrow with it". Proverbs 10:22

God is never going to change His willingness nor His faithfulness in blessing us through eternal salvation. We can trust that God will never forsake us because He is the same yesterday, today and forever...

...the promise of God to me is that He will rebuild me.

He will rebuild me into the woman I am meant to be and He will be the rock that I can stand on!

...I am learning to trust, I am reshaping the meaning of the word.

...The tears I have and the pain I have suffered will give way to beauty and to peace!

I am reminded that alone I cannot earn grace, alone I cannot forgive, and alone I cannot heal...
...but with God all things are possible.

I don’t know when I will feel complete peace.  I don't know when I will be able to offer full forgiveness.  I don't know the specifics of God’s will for my life, but I do know that my Heavenly Father intimately knows me and the hurt that I carry.

I will drop my guard and let the floodgates open...

I know He is there!



2 comments:

  1. What a great post...so very true! Thanks for sharing. Continue to trust...He will take care of you!

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  2. I love this post. I was pulling away from Drew and we had a tearful discussion this morning that made him late for work. But I feel less overwhelmed now and realize that part of it was a trust issue too. It is hard to rebuild trust when it is destroyed. I just wanted to run away...it felt easier. But I didn't. I went to him, in tears, and we discussed it. It's amazing how much lighter it feels. Not that the issue is gone...but that I am not withdrawing and struggling with it by myself. And didn't get thrown away for discussing it.

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