I need God to send me a post it note. Perhaps a road map? Maybe a trail made from bread crumbs...
...As much as I would love for God to "next day" FedEx His plans to me, He is asking me to wait, and patience is not my virtue.
But we serve a HUGE God...and I am growing, day by day in His Word. Each day I develop a deeper sense of peace and understand that He is preparing my heart for what He has planned for me next.
The time that He has allowed me the past few weeks has brought opportunities...lessons...a cleansing of my heart...
...all that opens my eyes to truly knowing that Christ is head-over-heels in love with me...just as I am...my sins do not surprise Him, nor do they alter His love for me.
Patience.
I am reminded of my grandmother...
...I was ten years old. Staying overnight at grandma and Po-po's house was a treat! I remember laying in the twin bed in the spare bedroom, the sheets scratchy from the crisp air of drying on the clothesline. The smell of fresh lilacs in a glass tumbler that hid a watermark on the cherry nightstand. Grandma tiptoed into my room and gently sat on the edge of my bed...
She whispered, "Let's make chocolate cake for breakfast..." My eyes fluttered open, I felt such an overwhelming sense of love from my grandmother and I was happy to be right where I was.
Sleepily I shuffled my slippered feet across my grandparents apartment into the kitchen where my grandmother stood in her housecoat, a white, zip up, cotton dress with tiny, delicate pink flowers embroidered across the bosom. Her smile invited me over to where she stood.
I watched as my grandma pulled out measuring cups and spoons, mixing bowls, flour, sugar, cocoa...all the ingredients needed for a chocolate cake! My stomach growled at the prospect of eating such a delightfully, sugary treat...and so early in the morning! I was spoiled...and loving every moment!
Together my grandmother and me sifted, measured, poured and stirred. Using a spatula my grandma poured our creation into her heavy baking square and handed me the empty bowl and utensil...I ran my tongue over the chocolate batter that was left on the spatula, next running my index finger inside the mixing bowl, licking my lips at the yumminess of its taste...
"Let's just eat the cake like this Grandma!" I exclaimed, inpatient at the prospect of having to wait another 45 minutes until our creation would be complete!
"Patience my dear..." my grandmother shook her head at me. I whimpered, "But I don't want to wait Grandma...I'm hungry now!"
...my grandmother took my tiny face into her soft wrinkled hands and kissing me on the forehead she said, "Patience is a fruit of the Spirit..."
I didn't understand in that moment...
....but today, I think of my grandmother's words and I fully understand. By waiting on God to lead me, I know that once His plan for me is revealed and I take the path that He will lay before me...nothing and no one can lead me astray.
Patience is allowing for me to experience joys that I otherwise would not know...
....the joy of time with my children before the end of summer...
...precious moments with my husband before he leaves for deployment with the National Guard...
...day trips with someone that I love, admire and value...allowing friendship to grow deeper...
...rest
...spiritual growth....
....and the deliciousness of a warm, chocolate cake freshly iced with grandmother's homemade chocolate icing!
Girl, love this post. Times of waiting, and being patient and trusting God, are a big part of my walk right now, too. You know my story. You know the big pieces of the puzzle that I just have no clue about. But every night, He reminds me that I can trust Him, that I can be full of hope and great expectation as I wait for Him to reveal the next piece, and that I can have joy as I am patiently waiting. Do I always succeed at this? No. Does He love me and delight in me anyways? Yes! He meets me right where I am, He reassures me constantly, and the things He is giving me to do in the meantime are ones I never could have dreamed up on my own. There is such joy and freedom knowing that He holds all the details to all of my tomorrows, and that it will be for my best, and will continue to be beyond my imaginations. What a blessing it is to walk this life with God as the author who provides each word and sentence of my story, and to be able to come alongside such amazing people all along the way!
ReplyDeleteWell written, sweet Betsy. It's almost like, well, your mom is an English teacher or something.
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