Re-Post...Hairy Topic

(Originally posted on December 22, 2009 Hairy Topic)


Tuesday, December 22, 2009


Hairy Topic...

Roughly two months ago I was diagnosed with diabetes...this morning was my follow up appointment with a new doctor that I can add to my long list of doctors. This appointment was scheduled two months ago and in that time I was supposed to loose fifteen pounds ("supposed to" is the key phrase here). I was "supposed to" keep track of my blood sugars (I just purchased my glucometer last week) and I was "supposed to" write down any questions I may have concerning my newly diagnosed illness (this, I did!).

My point above is that I had a "follow up" appointment this morning with a new doctor that was "supposed to" be a "routine" check in for diabetic patients...or so I thought....

So...imagine my surprise when Dr. McDreamy (yep, he's pretty hot) asked me if I had any swelling in my legs and feet and when I answered, "I used to, but Dr. Family Physician prescribed me a diuretic," Dr. McDreamy responded with, "let me take a look." HORROR....ummmm.....how do you say, "I haven't shaved my legs since, oh, I don't know...October?" in the most classy way???

Real women don't shave their legs on a regular basis...especially when it's twenty degrees outside and there is no need to wear short skirts! Real women are married to real men that don't mind that their wives don't shave their legs in the winter (our bed is in our family room for crying out loud...it's not like there is any reason to shave my legs...if you know what I mean).

There I was...pant legs pulled up, apologizing profusely for my hairy legs...and then it hit me...what kind of woman am I?? Who am I trying to fool, "real women don't shave their legs..."...I'm going home to shave my legs right now! I want to be that woman...the kind that shaves her legs every single day and then applies thick moisturizing cream from Sax Fifth Avenue that cost $700. I want to be the kind of woman that gravitates towards Martha Stewart Living Magazine at the grocery store, the kind of woman that buys linens and wears aprons with landscapes of beaches and kittens. I want to know how to make a special marinade and what the perfect substitution is when I run out of vegetable oil. I want to own a bundt cake pan.....

because let's face it...I'm the kind of woman that doesn't always wash my face before I go to bed. The kind of woman that wears Dr. Pepper chap stick and can't keep my mouth shut, even when it's inappropriate to speak up. I'm the kind of woman that would rather eat out then cook in. The kind that uses the word vagina in public too much and gets distracted at looking at peoples rear ends at the gym. I'm the kind of woman that sees no use in shaving my legs in the dead of winter...unless I have a doctor's appointment...but not for my diabetes doctor...but for my gynecologist...because I know he appreciates it.

And so, new diabetes doctor of mine...I apologize. Had I known you were going to examine my legs I would have gone the extra mile...

Until then, I'm off to some ritzy store to buy myself a real razor.