Friday, September 3, 2010

How EmBRAassing...

I am CONVINCED that God's plan for me is to entertain...

...because let's face it, I lead a pretty "entertaining" life.  Agreed?

I am also CONVINCED that my Columbia clients bring out the "top quality" entertainment within me...

...remember this story?  How could you forget, right?

Yep, that was a Columbia client.

That was embarrassing...

...but this...

...this is emBRAassing...

A late day phone call yesterday from a client requesting an impromptu meeting in Columbia this morning left me frazzled and hurried as I raced out of the office, balancing an array of paper samples and binding options for a quick turn project that my client is hoping to complete by the end of next week...

...after a successful meeting with my client, I pulled out of the parking lot and headed to the other side of Columbia to make a speedy stop by another client of mine, hoping that my unannounced visit wouldn't throw this top executive too far off his carefully planned business schedule! 

I parked my car outside of my client's office and with a hasty flip of my mirrored visor I applied a coat of lip gloss and swiftly ran a brush through my hair...a flash of a smile and I stepped outside of my car and walked into the building...

The receptionist greeted me with a friendly "hello" and "how are you?" and knowing who I am, she waved for me to follow her down the hallway to my client's office. 

I was relieved to see my client dressed in a polo shirt and khaki shorts...a golf bag resting against the door indicated that he was on his way out for a playful afternoon...

...He was happy to see me, in fact he had just left a message for me on my office voicemail saying that he would like to discuss an upcoming project!  He motioned for me to sit down at his desk, and grabbing his portfolio, he sat next to me...

...I noticed right away that when he sat next to me and began to talk his demeanor changed...he was a bit red in the face, somewhat stumbling over his words...

...very...distracted.

Hmmmm.  Weird.  It's all I could think in the moment...

I ran my tongue over my teeth behind my closed lips....maybe there was lip gloss on my teeth?  Instinctively I rubbed my hand across my nose...was there a booger hanging out?  I was chewing Orbit's peppermint flavored gum, so I know my breath wasn't bad...

what could he be so uneasy about?

Mid-sentence my client leaned back in his chair....

...silence.  I could see his mind racing....

and then...

Client:  "Betsy?"

Me:  "Yes?"

Client:  "What is that?"  (pointing to my chest)

Me:  (looking down...looking up, COMPLETE HORROR on my face)

....the wire in my bra (and for any/all you men that may be are reading this, some bra's have "underwire" for lift) had poked through my bra and maneuvered it's way up my chest, resting in all it's "curvature" above my breasts and on the beginning of my collarbone!!!

...I could literally feel the heat of embarrassment work it's way up my body and into my face.  I closed my eyes thinking that I would disappear and when I opened them, there sat my client, smirk across his face, eagerly anticipating my answer...

Me:  (pushing and forcing the wire back underneath my breast and into it's rightful place)  "Oh...that? Shoot, you're on to me!  My sales manager wires me before my sales calls so he can hear what I say and how I handle objections...you know...stuff that he can use to make me a better sales rep....ha.  ha ha.  ha."

I froze. 

I couldn't move if you had set me on fire. 

Time stood still...

and then my client laughed and said...

"I"m going to have to try that with my sales people!"

I nervously giggled...

"yeah!  It's really helped me!"

Don't worry folks...he's not stupid...

...he's just incredibly forgiving!  ;)

I'm such a boob!


3 comments:

  1. OMG! I swear, I almost peed my pants reading this Betsy! That has to be the funniest thing I have heard in a long time. So sorry for your embarrassment, but seriously, you handled it beautifully! It could not have happened to anyone else and been nearly as funny...you should put the wire in a scrapbook. LOLLOLLOLLOL! -Cindy

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  2. One of those wires got caught in my sister's new washer a couple of weeks ago. The washer had to be taken apart and freed of the wire!
    You keep us laughing!

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