There's No Place Like Home...

After 25 + years of living in the same home...

...a home where four children were raised, three "girly" bedrooms and one "big boy" bedroom...

My dad's "man cave" in the basement...

...my mother's closet, (the size of my bedroom now)...

The kitchen where every holiday my mother's master food creations filled the rest of the four story home with a sweet aroma...

...the dinning room, the table that could seat twelve people all at once...

...the laughter, the tears...

all of it has been sorted through, some of it sold, donated, some of it pitched....the rest...

....has been packed.  Waiting for Wednesday, when the movers will come and haul it to a new home.

My parents have sold their home....and not necessarily because they wanted to leave...

....primarily because there are too many stairs for my dad, who suffers from MS, to walk...

...too much "home" for my mother to keep while also caring for my sick dad and my special needs sister....

I can't imagine what my mother must feel at this moment.

...the past six weeks have been a whirlwind of packing, cleaning, "rebuilding" the new home...

....Of course the new house is just up the street from the old house...

....the new house is one level, easier for my dad to get around. 

The new house is a new beginning for a family that has endured so much hardship over the past few years.

But the most beautiful story that is being written is that of friendship and love...

Twenty-three people (past students of my mother's, teachers that teach with my mother, friends...new & old) gathered a few weeks ago on a Friday evening to rip carpet up and take down walls in the new home...

Ten to twenty people at any given time on a daily basis at the old home, cleaning, packing, dropping off food, moving boxes and furniture to the new home....

....family friends that have volunteered their time to build cabinets in the kitchen in the new home, to clean windows, walls, floors....

....or the simple act of sitting with my dad and "listening" to the memories he is recalling in the home they are about to leave.

On Sunday, a friend ours from church showed up (having never met my parents) and offered several hours of his time hauling boxes and furniture from various rooms in the old home...he had listened to my husband and I talk about this difficult time in my parents life...and he showed up, offering love and support.

It's been a difficult summer for my mother, who so often gives so much of herself to others...

....which is why others are giving so much back!

Thank you to all that have given so much time, sweat, sore backs, tight joints....

....friendship is a beautiful thing, and so are ALL of you!

10 Honest Things...

I've said it before...

....I DISPISE forwards!

Especially the ones that say, "forward this to 10 friends in the next 5 minutes or you will have bad luck for 25 years."

....puh-leese!

But...

...today I received a forward (I guess it's considered a forward) from a friend and it was actually...

....fun.

I learned SO much information about some of my friends, some of their friends, some "soon-to-be" friends...

I decided to turn it into a post! 

You're excited, aren't you?

"10 Honest Things About Myself"

1.  I have a very serious obsession with Bethenny Frankel from "Bethenny Getting Married?" and "Real Housewives of NYC" on Bravo!  Honestly people, the woman is made of seven kinds of awesome!

2.  I have two very tiny scars on either side of my jaw line.  I endured intense jaw surgery the summer before my senior year of high school...two millimeters of my jaw bone were taken from each side of my jaw, crushed up and created into my chin.  My jaws were wired shut for eight weeks and I lost over 30 pounds, which at the time was not ideal for me since I weighed all of 115 pounds.  I'm taking suggestions on how I can work that surgery back into my life now...because since we're being honest here, I could really use the 30 pound weight loss now.

3.  While we are on the subject of weight loss, I'm on day 17 of the most challenging diet I've ever tried.  I did extremely well up until day 15, when hottie hubby and I went to see the movie "Inception" (brilliant, by the way) and I ate buttered popcorn.  I ate like I was going to the electric chair...but no worries folks, it went right through me (if you know what I mean). 

4.  Behind all the sarcasm and funniness, I am deeply insecure.

5.  I watch the movie "Bring It On" at least once a week.  It's sick, I know...but you never know when you are going to be confronted by the head cheerleader from the rival high school and I want to make sure that when I am, I have the best come back line. 

6.  I know very little (close to nothing) about politics, and quite frankly, I don't care to learn. 

7.  I sneeze in threes.  And apparently I'm a poet.

8.  I am fascinated by popular media and popular culture!  I do care about how many days Lindsey Lohan will spend in jail...and it better be the full 90.  I'm just sayin'

9.  I don't like for my food to touch on my plate.  I much prefer the "divider" plates.  Shepherd's Pie is my culinary nightmare.

10.  Not only do I have a "matchy match" problem, I also have a very bad "even steven" issue. I need symmetry and usually acquire otherwise inconsequential items in pairs. For example, I can’t have just one storage container bin on a shelf, there must be two. I also have to eat two of whatever I’m snacking on (cheez-its, m&m’s) at a time.

See, wasn't that fun?  Now it's your turn!  And if you don't post 10 honest things about you within the next 10 minutes you will have bad luck for 25 years.

Time starts now....

The Hero, Not The Drug...

Me:  "Benjamin, go get your Bible and I'll read you a story about a woman named Ruth who became a heroine..."

Ben:  "Did Jesus still save her even though she was on drugs?"

Me:  "No baby, Ruth wasn't a druggie, heroine means female hero..."

Ben:  "well that's just dumb."

...Oh the wisdom of an eight year old.

Christiana...Christ Bearer...

Christiana means Christian, Christ-bearer...

...that is exactly what she is.

Christiana is a childhood friend.  Her family and my family have been friends since before we were born.

Christiana is strong in faith. It may be truly said of her that she lives by faith. Her faith seems to be even without the least appearance of diffidence or doubt in her words or actions, she has God and Christ continually in view! 

...Christiana is a "missionary", although it would now seem that her work through Christ is simply, life. 

And watching Christiana share her testimony and hearing the passion in her voice...

...it leaves me breathless, yet full of the Holy Spirit.

Christiana is going on her eighth year of living in Moscow, Russia.  Having been persuaded into taking a mission trip to Russia to work with orphans, Christiana heard the Lord calling her to return to Russia to take on a more "permanent" missionary role...
...Now the principal at Hinkson Christian Academy, Christiana lives on funds she raises through love offerings, donations and fundraising. 

Each and every day Christiana touches the lives of hundreds of children, enriching them with an education and a zest for life with Christ that otherwise would not be available if not for Hinkson Christian Academy...
...Christiana endures struggles with the Russian government, always throwing "kinks" in her spiritual path, often making her future foggy. 

And yet...she marches on, with the voice of God in her head, the love of Christ in her heart...she displays a courage that most people only dream about.

Today I am asking you to reach out to Christiana.  I would love for you to know her story, to share in her beauty and strength....

...if you are interested in financially contributing to Christiana's incredible journey you may send your donations to:

Christiana Graham #5902
RCE International

PO Box 4528

Wheaton, IL 60189

Or, you may contribute by sending care packages and/or notes of encouragement to: (mail must be addressed like this)

RUSSIA 115127

Moscow

37 Varshavskoye Shosse

International Post Office Box 144

Hinkson Academy

C. Graham

Russia 115127

All addresses must be written directly on the box or the letter (using a "customs form" will not work, regardless of what the post office might tell you). Average mailing time is one month (even though the post office says within 6-10 days).

I CHALLANGE all of you to contribute to Christiana's mission (Christ's work)!  At the very least, your contribution is a "divine" connection with one of God's "angels!"

Much love to you, Christiana!  May you have peace, joy, love and the financial means to carry forward with your journey!  I am so very proud to call you my friend!

Everyone Needs A Peter & Paul...

Nathan.  Jonathan.  Jethro.  Timothy.  Barnabas.

Week six of the "Wanted" sermons, "Everyone Needs A..."

...Peter and Paul.

Fast Facts:

Peter ~ Otherwise known as Simon (his given name); renamed Peter (Greek) by Jesus.  He was a fisherman; later one of Jesus' first representatives and is best known for his declaration that Jesus was the Christ, and later his denial of Christ.

Paul ~ Otherwise known as Saul, his Jewish name, perhaps given in memory of Israel's first king, a member of the tribe of Benjamin, to which Paul's family belonged; but following his conversion he was known as Paul.  A vision of Christ on the Damascus road was life changing for Paul, which led to his conversion and call as an apostle.  Paul became a leader in the church, its most well-known and widely traveled spokesperson, and a major New Testament writer.

They were mentors, teachers...they contributed to the spiritual growth of others, after fully maturing in their own spirituality. 

Both were full of wisdom...perhaps thought of as a spiritual "father".

In my own walk of faith I have found myself eager to gain as much spiritual knowledge as I can possibly learn.  I hunger for God's Word and I am drawn to those that can teach me and mold me into the woman that God desires me to be.

Within my sermon notes I scribbled down three names that I consider my "Peter" and my "Paul". 

And although I am an "open book" (or blog, so to speak), these three names I have decided to keep to myself...

....but know that each day I am growing more and more in Christ, shaped by the most amazing and influential people that God has placed within my life. 

This Little Light Of Mine...

I often find myself operating out of a fear of not measuring up, having concerns that lead to perfectionism in tasks...reluctance to participate because I'm not perfected enough - not equipped enough - not talented enough. It becomes a reason not to try, to not push for goals, to not do anything beyond just what is absolutely needful at the moment.  It's a constant struggle...

...The word struggle is a not a bad word. As a matter of fact "struggle" can be a good word. It means I recognize my weaknesses and that I'm trying to overcome them.

However, there are times when I fall short or miss the mark.

Claiming to be a perfectionist is not what Jesus instructed us to do...
...According to 1 Peter 5:5, Jesus opposes the arrogant but gives grace to the humble...

Self-examination is the principal part of my walk with Christ...
...Somehow, in living with Christ over the past year and a half, I've learned to spot contradictions in my walk and my talk...
...Perhaps it is the Holy Spirit that points them out to me...but I have the choice to either confront them, ignore them, or become a hypocrite. The last two are undesirable.

I need to be in the light of His glory and grace...

...That's the only way I know how to see in the dark.

Another "Betsy-ism"...

I did it again...

...ABSOLUTELY humiliated this time...

...I wasn't with my friends.

I wasn't with my family.

....oh no...

...I was with a client!  A VERY important client!

This is how the conversation played out...(I will be using an "x" and a "y" in place of real names, to protect the innocent):

Very Important Client:  "Speaking of "X", I saw him at Hy-Vee over the weekend and he was with a different lady."

Me:  "Oh yeah?  Who was the lady, do you know?"

Very Important Client:  "I didn't recognize her, but what happened to "Y"? I thought they would end up married..."

Me:  "Please.  That relationship was a flash in the pants!"

Very Important Client:  (catching his breath, after laughing hysterically) "I bet it was a 'flash in the pants', but I think you meant to say 'flash in the PAN!'...."


*Seriously, why don't people correct me??  I KNOW that isn't the first time I've said that!

Everyone Needs A Barnabas...

Week five of the "Wanted" sermons...(stick with me on this, I need to give a little "history" on who Barnabas is, then I will share my "Barnabas" story...)

Everybody needs an encourager. Everybody needs someone who will believe in them and give them a second chance.

Everybody needs a Barnabas.

I don’t know if you are aware, but Barnabas’ real name is Joseph. His nickname was Barnabas because of his actions. In Hebrew, Barnabas means "son of encouragement". And because Joseph walked the talk of a Barnabas, an encourager, his nickname stuck. When all the Christians were afraid of Saul (who later became Paul) because of his persecution of believers, throwing them into prison and torturing them and forcing them to blaspheme the name of Jesus, many in the church could not believe Saul had committed his life to Christ....
 
Do you know who took Saul under his wing? Do you know who took a risk to believe in him, to give him a second chance?
 
Barnabas.
 
I could really identify with this weeks sermon...as I was writing notes during pastor Mark's sermon I scribbled on the side of my note card, "Who is your Barnabas?"
 
....towards the end of the sermon, after learning what a "Barnabas" is, I wrote two answers next to the question I had written at the beginning of the sermon...
 
 

The Meekers

&

Jesus Christ

 
If you haven't read my testimony, start here.  Then you will have a better understanding...
 
The Meeker family is how I came to Memorial Baptist Church.  I was without a license due to a recent diagnosis of Epilepsy and Greg and Becky Meeker had been helping me get to the places I needed to be.  (Hottie husband was away with the National Guard, leaving me with our three boys...and no license to drive!)  One Friday after work Greg asked me how I was getting to church on Sunday's (sneaky...because I'm pretty sure he knew the answer)...I didn't go to church...I didn't need God...I had all the answers, I was getting by just fine, thank you!  A simple reply from Greg..."it wouldn't be a problem if you would like Becky and I to pick you and the boys up, you could come to church with us.  There is a great kids program, the boys might like it." 
 
....So I said okay (in all honesty, I said okay because I felt like I couldn't say "no" to my boss). 
 
That first Sunday that I sat with the congregation of Memorial Baptist Church was the Sunday that pastor Mark was "interviewing" for the pastoral position at the church...he stood before roughly 300 strangers, far from his home in Texas and he delivered a sermon that breathed the Holy Spirit into me....
...I remember sitting in the pew, next to Becky and Greg, surrounded by the most loving, friendly and real people...overcome with emotion and a great sense of peace that I have never felt before.
 
I have never stopped going to Memorial Baptist Church since that day in February of 2009.
 
Later that month I made my first business trip to New York City with the Meekers and it was Becky that explained the meaning of "becoming saved" to me...she shared with me her testimony, she shared the decisions her own boys had made to follow Christ at a young age, she listened to me as I shared my guilt and my fears of the life I had lead...
...and she encouraged me...she shared the Word of God, the peace that it brings, the love that is felt...
 

Jesus can make any life beautiful again, more valuable than before, though it has been marred by sin and regretful mistakes, if we will commit that life to Him and say "use me Lord, I am yours"....

...and as I laid in my bed in that hotel room in New York City, I thought about the people that had been brought into my life, these people that took me in...despite my flaws, my "party" ways, my selfishness....these people that had something about them that I couldn't quite place, something I desired...
...and then it occurred to me....they had Jesus.
 
And so it was that I prayed, I prayed hard.  I cried out to my Lord and I begged for forgiveness.  I pleaded with Him to come into my heart and to cleanse me of my sins, to fill me with more of Him...
...and at that moment I felt the same peace I had felt while sitting inside the church just a few Sunday's before. 
 
Thus began my faith journey...
 
...and as I have said many times, it's hard... 
 
I fall...daily. 
 
But I have my "Barnabas" (I struggled with how to say that since I consider the entire Meeker family to be my encourager's...would it be "Barnabi"  get it?  The plural of Barnabas...)...they encourage me to get up, brush off and stand tall in the Lord. 
 
My second answer...the ultimate encourager, Jesus Christ, who changed my life and continues to stand with me every day. It's as simple as that!

So who will you stand for?

...Who will you tell "I believe in you?" 

Becky, Greg & Me at Carmines in NYC

(one of our FAVORITE restaurants)

Rebuilding Trust...

I was seven years old when the meaning of the word "trust" changed for me...

...although I was too young to even know.

Although I am not to blame, I was left to deal with the pain...
...and twenty-nine years later, the pain still weighs heavy on my heart.

This week I was encouraged to take time to be angry, to grieve...

and afterwards...(most importantly)...

...to forgive and feel the freedom of Christ.

I  am ashamed to admit that I was angry with God...I wasn't trusting in Him completely.  I was pushing Him away from my pain...

...slowly I am allowing God to heal me...

I am understanding that my Heavenly Father chose me, made me, has a plan for me, and will never leave me...

...He is strong...

...He desires to have a relationship with me. 

"The blessing of the Lord makes rich
and he adds no sorrow with it". Proverbs 10:22

God is never going to change His willingness nor His faithfulness in blessing us through eternal salvation. We can trust that God will never forsake us because He is the same yesterday, today and forever...

...the promise of God to me is that He will rebuild me.

He will rebuild me into the woman I am meant to be and He will be the rock that I can stand on!

...I am learning to trust, I am reshaping the meaning of the word.

...The tears I have and the pain I have suffered will give way to beauty and to peace!

I am reminded that alone I cannot earn grace, alone I cannot forgive, and alone I cannot heal...
...but with God all things are possible.

I don’t know when I will feel complete peace.  I don't know when I will be able to offer full forgiveness.  I don't know the specifics of God’s will for my life, but I do know that my Heavenly Father intimately knows me and the hurt that I carry.

I will drop my guard and let the floodgates open...

I know He is there!