Thursday, March 29, 2012

Where Is My Peace?

Lately I have been asking myself (directed towards God), "I am where is my peace?"

...My Salvation came three years ago. Along my Faith journey I have come to understand that those who find a place of unity within Christ take a different path to get there, each Faith journey is mapped with different twists and turns. There are people who seem to come to the Lord easily, their lives miraculously altered into an almost unrecognizable state at the very moment of Salvation. The Holy Spirit just appears to settle right into their hearts and take over; bringing peace and healing at the moment of confession and acceptance. It looks as though all of their pain and fear is replaced in a moment’s time with a passionate love for God and an abiding surrender to His will...

...I am not one of those people and I must confess that at times I have been very envious of them.

In my own journey, I have taken the long road to get to God and even now that I have found Him I fight a prolonged battle to hold onto the mercy He has given me. I am aware that as a new Christian I struggle with sin, Faith and obedience.

...When I accepted Christ, I carried with me a lifetime of baggage that I expected Him to deal with.
Some people might bring suitcases or trunks... I showed up with a fully loaded moving van....sin and damage done to my spirit, living a life away from His presence.

The day I came to God I experienced a vague but very powerful spiritual epiphany that I needed Him. I had witnessed His love, His grace and His mercy within the lives of people that had recently been placed in my God, no doubt. I had been watching first hand His pursuit to transform our existence into lives of peace, love and joy.

...Each day on my journey I find myself needing Christ more and more. I now understand that surrendering to God requires a radical healing filled with trials.

...The trials are where I fall short and overwhelming fear that my peace will only come in Heaven...I will never have peace here and now. A fear that has recently taken toll on my spiritual welfare... father's illness, my brother's death, my mother's anxiety and constant sadness, my sister's uncertain future, my role as a mother and a wife.... is all too much at times and I find myself asking, "Where is my peace?"

My answer came last night between the pages of a daily devotional...

"The outcome of our trials is that the real Jesus emerges in our spirits and is expressed through our lives making us fruitful in that which was meant to destroy us." - Francis Frangipane

I must then submit to His Spirit and allow Him to guide me along the path He has created for me in accordance with His perfect purpose. On my journey I will daily draw closer to Him and I will experience healing...

....and therein lies my peace.


  1. I loved this, thank you for sharing.

  2. Know what, the people that you think have only peace...they still struggle with peace at times, its just their struggles take place in their quiet times with God. There is no one on the face of this earth, that doesn't have times of doubt and struggle and wonder if they are doing the right thing. I am amazed at your journey! I love how contagiously you share your love of God and all that He is doing in your lives. We will have times that we are down/questioning...but we can rest assured that even when we don't know what our future holds for us, we know the One who holds our future...and He always has our best interests at heart. He also used the times that are tough, and feel as if we aren't strong enough, to shine His strength through us, as well as to refine us making us more like Him and making us more thankful and willing to help out others who are struggling! And as we walk in faith that He is who He says He is, the peace and joy flows from the inside out! LOve you girl! And rooting for you!