Tuesday, February 8, 2011

1040 Reasons Uncle Sam Is Not A Hottie...

Dave Ramsey is a hottie.  We've established this already...



....Uncle Sam, however, is NOT a hottie. 



There was a time I adored Uncle Sam.  Our relationship really blossomed when I turned twenty-one and I was "on my own", free from my parental units...the first year I "filed" independently.  Uncle Sam gave me a big cash bonus at the end of that year and I bought my very first sofa for my very first apartment.  Every year after Uncle Sam continued to send me cash bonuses at the end of each year, and every year I bought a new "luxury" item, my first 36" color television, my first pair of Prada shoes, my first real piece of jewelry....

...then, Uncle Sam became quite the family favorite! When I gave birth to my first born son, Uncle Sam gave me an even bigger cash bonus at the end of the year! He showed his support and love for me after my divorce and I was living as a single mother...that year I used Uncle Sam's cash bonus as a down payment on a new car. 

Of course there was the year that Uncle Sam was stingy with his end of the year gift, the year that I remarried...but I know that he was jealous of hottie hubby, and quite frankly Uncle Sam really made up the frugality the following year when hottie hubby and I welcomed our son Jack!  And then when we welcomed Benjamin to our family that very next year....whoa! Uncle Sam was really good to us and we bought another new car!

Each year Uncle Sam has loved on our family, providing us with the means to make useless, cheap and senseless purchases...it's been a whirlwind of a relationship with dear, old, Uncle Sam...

Then we met Dave Ramsey.

Oh Dave...Dave, Dave, Dave.  Easy on the eyes, hard ("strictly" speaking) on the pocketbook.  "Uncle" Dave swooped into our lives and changed everything! He demanded that we make changes, things like "saving", "smart shopping", "cutting up credit cards", ....."tithing" (GASP!)....

...he even had hottie hubby and I change our W2's.....

....in the beginning it was awkward.  Uncle Dave was the "black sheep" of the family, nobody really ever wanted him to be around, nobody ever talked to him...but Uncle Dave never gave up...he said things like, "live like nobody now so you can live like nobody later..." ....yeah, okay Uncle Dave, whatever that means....

...But I gotta admit, Uncle Dave has begun to grow on us....

...then Uncle Sam showed up last night.

Crap.

Uncle Sam's visit wasn't what we expected....this year....

....this year, Uncle Sam TOOK money from us!

{SCREAM}

The audacity! Who does Uncle Sam think he is? Is he jealous? Yes! Uncle Sam is jealous of Uncle Dave...

...and do you know why Uncle Sam is jealous of Uncle Dave?

(besides the fact that Uncle Dave is a hottie, of course)

...because Uncle Dave PREPARED hottie hubby and me for Uncle Sam's meanness. 

In your face Uncle Sam!  Uncle Dave stuck with us in the good times AND the bad, he was honest and open with us, calling us MORONS for taking your silly cash bonus at the end of every year and flaunting our ridiculous purchases! He FORCED us to SAVE our money each month for things such as your little stunt you pulled last night!

You laughed in our faces last night Uncle Sam....you pointed your creepy finger at us and taunted us with "Ha! You OWE me money! I'm TAKING your money!"

But the joke is on you crypt keeper....we will be writing you a check out of our SAVINGS and it won't really even put a dent in what we have accumulated...

...thanks to HOTTIE UNCLE DAVE RAMSEY!

Cheers to you Uncle Dave, we DO love you! We finally see the benefit of having you in our family! We want you to come to EVERY family function, EVERY family meal, you can even sleep with us....well, that's a bit awkward, but we do read your books before bed!

2 comments:

  1. Ryan and I started reading the Total Money Makeover last month. This is our first month of "sticking to the budget!" :)

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  2. What a great and entertaining post. We love Uncle Dave too. Thanks for sharing. Oh and don't forget about Uncle Murphy. LOL He came to visit us the first year we hung out with uncle Dave.

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