I am amazed by my strength. I am in awe of where I stand today, spiritually speaking. I am smiling at the thought of how "changed" I have become. Eleven years ago I lost my grandmother at the young age of sixty-four, it was breast cancer that took her from our family, and I was angry with you. I shook my fists at the skies, I screamed my anger towards the heavens. I stopped going to church, I was going to show you! If only I knew then what I know now...
...You remained by my side God, even when I turned my back, You continued to love me and to embrace me.
Now I am sitting on my patio, the sun warms my skin and I am squinting in the brilliance of the sunlight. I am looking up to the heavens, looking for you, God, eager for you to hear my words...
"All is well with my soul, God. I feel peace now."
I recount the past two years, Epilepsy, skin cancer, uterine tumors, hysterectomy, melanoma, an optical nerve tumor, diabetes, my step-father's illness, financial stress, countless arguments with a developing teenager, marital stress, a failed relationship with my biological father, and now my brother's death...
...it's enough, God. It's enough to make a person flee...
...but I am here. I am clinging to you.
God, you have my full attention! I have weathered the storms and now I look back at the events in my life and I understand how they have played a role in where I currently stand...
...next to You, God.
And by the way God, when I recount the past two years, I don't just recall the "storms"...I also reflect on the amazing and beautiful people You have placed in my path, the wonderful job I fell into, the awesome church and pastor that You delivered me to, the healing, the love and the most incredible of all...the forgiveness.
"The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower." ~ Psalms 18:2
Forever Yours,
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