Is it safe to say that if there is "crazy", I'm there?
Yes...it is safe to say that "crazy" follows me...
A "normal" day is SO overrated!
At roughly 7:15 pm (who am I kidding? I have no clue what time it was because time is not important in this tale) on Friday evening I headed towards the new Walmart to make a *quick* purchase of bleach...
...need a back story? Okay, I'll indulge...I have OCD or CDO (because it's in alphabetical order that way). It started yesterday with spending forty-five minutes organizing my Pinterest boards (a virtual scrapbook where you can pin things like recipes, party favor ideas, gift ideas, do-it-yourself projects and all the things in life you wish you had but know you never will....yes, it can be depressing)
....After my positioned pinning pleasure, I had the urge to sweep off our lower back porch (it's been in my thoughts all week) and when I discovered there was mold growing on the edge of the concrete, I simply could not live with myself if I didn't immediately rid our humble abode of this nasty nuisance.
I was horrified to discover that there was no bleach in our home...seriously? Who does not keep several gallons of bleach on hand for emergencies like the one above? I racked my brain to figure out who the bleach burglar could be and remembered the boys caving trip the weekend before....the mud and microorganisms that came home with them.....I shudder!
So, I threw on a pair of spandex workout bottoms and an oversize t-shirt of hottie hubby's, complete with a family portrait of "The Family Guy"....who was I going to see? My intentions were swift...a faster-than-a-bolt-of-lightning, grab the bleach, pay and return home trip.....
....that was my mistake....who was I kidding that I could be back from Walmart in 2.5 seconds without running into someone I know???
....so back to 7:15 pm (or whatever time you want this story to take place)...
I pull my car into a parking space outside of Walmart and dash towards the entrance....no need for a cart, I'm after one thing and one thing only....
I pass the beauty section...ooooohhhh, new mascara.....I hesitate...no....no.....I must focus.....bleach.....I continue towards household products.......
.....just as I'm rounding the corner (I can see my beloved Clorox waiting for me to embrace her...), I hear over the loudspeaker...
"Attention Walmart customers. Please evacuate the store immediately. Please leave your items where you are and exit towards the front of the store. Again, all customers are to immediately evacuate the store, thank you."
Ummmmmm.........
....the first thought that ran through my head was, "What? Are people being hurt by falling prices?"
I didn't understand.....so I did what any sane human being would do....I continued towards the cleaning products to grab my bleach.....I mean, surely this was some bored employee that was playing a joke.
...just as I reached for my gallon of glory, I heard a voice...."Excuse me mam, we need you to please exit the store....this is an emergency."
"But I have mold...."
"Please mam, make your way to the front exit, immediately."
Crap....didn't this guy understand my emergency??
Pouting, I made my way towards the front door of the store....past the beauty section...oh yeah! new mascara....no.....no....focus....emergency.....front door......
"Betsy?" I heard my name.....and then remembered what I looked like.....SURE-LY this was NOT happening....
I turned my head to stare into the eyes of a former classmate....a long ago friend that I haven't seen in 20 years....and what better time to see her now, after all this time.....looking like I should be shopping at Walmart....
"Oh hey!" (I'm keeping names out of this, to protect the innocent)...."Gosh....it's been so long.....and you.....you look great! I mean....not a gray hair in your perfectly coiled, sleeked back, blonde hair....and your cute, matchy-matchy, size 2, Capri jogging suit with your brand new Nike's and gosh....is that lavender I smell?" (okay....that's not really what I said...but I SERIOUSLY was thinking it....)
...instead I apologized for my horrid look and explained I was hoping for a quick trip...
The two of us headed out the front entrance into a scene from CSI....cops where EVERYWHERE! Firetrucks, S.W.A.T team, police chief......all surrounding the empire of "always low prices."
This actually was an emergency....what the heck was going on?
Despite several attempts at cracking this case, nobody of importance was giving any clues....
...while others found places to squat and watch the adventure unfold, I high-tailed it out of there before anyone else laid eyes on me....
....but mostly so I could purchase the bleach that I desperately needed.
I ended up going to Dollar General.....and wouldn't you know it, the bleach there was $1.50 MORE than the price at Walmart....
....Walmart really DOES have the "lowest" prices....
....and apparently the "cheapest" form of bomb threats! Turns out that was what all the excitement was about....and the reason I didn't get my "in-and-out," cheaper bleach purchase!
A bomb threat....
Really?
At Walmart??
For what reason??
....the prices weren't falling fast enough on their own?
Personally....I think it's because I was there....
...and wearing a "Family Guy" t-shirt.
Saturday, July 28, 2012
Sunday, July 22, 2012
On Display...
We are all sinners, saved by Grace...
...Everyone messes up...
...Each of you has made wrong choices...
...Temptation is so easy to fall into, and we all have succumbed to its lure...
We say things that are inappropriate....
....We make mistakes...
...We sin, on a daily basis....
It is easy for us as Christians to "expect" non-believers to behave in such ways...after all, we don't hold them accountable to the Christian standards....
But it is disheartening when we watch other Christians fall from the pedestals we have placed them on...we just didn't expect it from them....
...Idolatry....a recurring theme within my own growth as a Christian. From the beginning of accepting Christ, I have looked at others and thought, "If I could be like them...." or "Those people don't sin..."
....when in fact, "those people" ....those Christians that I want to be more like....they do sin, just as I sin, and you sin. But most importantly, we are ALL cleansed, given a new, fresh start and our sins are forgotten in His eyes....EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
Isn't that awesome?!
Throughout my journey I have come to realize that what I need, and really what everyone needs (and probably desires) are Christians who are willing to put their sins and their mistakes on display, intentionally...
Sound crazy? ....Just hear me out...
What a testament for men and women to publicly repent their sins, not trying to pretend like they are without... Men and women who will confess that they still struggle with their flesh, but are at peace knowing that they are forgiven through the blood of Christ...
I have always thought that perhaps if Christians were more forthcoming with their struggles, we might attract more non-believers....because then they would know that you don't have to be "perfect" or without sin to receive Christ's love!
That is the honesty I seek...
...and the honesty I, myself try to exhibit...
I am a sinner.
I have made mistakes.
I have fallen to temptation.
I have lived without boundaries.
I have been disobedient.
...And I am on a journey....a path to be made whole again....
...and I am on display...
looking towards the Healer....knowing that nobody is BIGGER than CHRIST.
...Everyone messes up...
...Each of you has made wrong choices...
...Temptation is so easy to fall into, and we all have succumbed to its lure...
We say things that are inappropriate....
....We make mistakes...
...We sin, on a daily basis....
It is easy for us as Christians to "expect" non-believers to behave in such ways...after all, we don't hold them accountable to the Christian standards....
But it is disheartening when we watch other Christians fall from the pedestals we have placed them on...we just didn't expect it from them....
...Idolatry....a recurring theme within my own growth as a Christian. From the beginning of accepting Christ, I have looked at others and thought, "If I could be like them...." or "Those people don't sin..."
....when in fact, "those people" ....those Christians that I want to be more like....they do sin, just as I sin, and you sin. But most importantly, we are ALL cleansed, given a new, fresh start and our sins are forgotten in His eyes....EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
Isn't that awesome?!
Throughout my journey I have come to realize that what I need, and really what everyone needs (and probably desires) are Christians who are willing to put their sins and their mistakes on display, intentionally...
Sound crazy? ....Just hear me out...
What a testament for men and women to publicly repent their sins, not trying to pretend like they are without... Men and women who will confess that they still struggle with their flesh, but are at peace knowing that they are forgiven through the blood of Christ...
I have always thought that perhaps if Christians were more forthcoming with their struggles, we might attract more non-believers....because then they would know that you don't have to be "perfect" or without sin to receive Christ's love!
That is the honesty I seek...
...and the honesty I, myself try to exhibit...
I am a sinner.
I have made mistakes.
I have fallen to temptation.
I have lived without boundaries.
I have been disobedient.
...And I am on a journey....a path to be made whole again....
...and I am on display...
looking towards the Healer....knowing that nobody is BIGGER than CHRIST.
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Imagine That....
Sally was her name. She wore a big red bow in her long blond hair, curled in ringlets...
...Sally was my imaginary friend. She entered my world when I was four and she stayed by my side until I was seven.
Although Sally could not be seen by anyone but me, she was very real to me. I set a place for Sally at our kitchen table, she ate every meal with us. She shared a bedroom with me and we often had tea with our Barbies, stuffed animals and Mademoiselle dolls...
Sally and I would stay up late, laying in my queen sized brass bed, snuggled under the hand embroidered quilt my grandmother made, whispering our secrets and our dreams...
...sometimes we would just lay in the light of the moon, eyes squeezed shut in attempt to drown out the arguments my parents were having in the room just below us...
Looking back, I realize that Sally was my "safe"...my sunshine in the midst of a storm that was brewing and would soon unfold...
My parents divorced when I was seven. I can't say that it was a surprise, their marriage was stressed...I remember. The yelling....the slamming of doors....the hurtful words....
...a confusing and scary time for a child.
Affliction of anger, blame....hardship and ugliness...it all began to pull at our family and my parents began to drift apart...
....if I remember correctly, Sally appeared in the beginning of the fight. Perhaps I couldn't bare the late night yelling on my own, laying in my bed wondering if I had done something wrong....
And so I created a friend...a confidant. Someone who would comfort me ....someone I could trust.
My mother tells me that Sally was not just a simple friend I had created in my thoughts...she had a history, a family, a wardrobe (of course!), favorites and other friends that I sometimes had the privilege of meeting...
I remember Sally. ...in fact, it amazes me just how vividly I remember her.
...And I remember the day Sally left.
Just after my father left.
I don't remember why Sally left...I do remember walking up to my mother, who stood in the doorway, watching my father loading his car with his belongings. Tears tickled her cheeks and her hands were folded for a prayer....
...and I simply stated that Sally had left. That was it. No explanation, no excuses...she just left. It was time for her to go....
The irony of that amazes me.
Because as I stood by my mother, whose world was crumbling around her....
....she, of all people who needed someone to love on her, looked at me and said, "I'm here."
And it was okay that Sally was gone.
...Sally was my imaginary friend. She entered my world when I was four and she stayed by my side until I was seven.
Although Sally could not be seen by anyone but me, she was very real to me. I set a place for Sally at our kitchen table, she ate every meal with us. She shared a bedroom with me and we often had tea with our Barbies, stuffed animals and Mademoiselle dolls...
Sally and I would stay up late, laying in my queen sized brass bed, snuggled under the hand embroidered quilt my grandmother made, whispering our secrets and our dreams...
...sometimes we would just lay in the light of the moon, eyes squeezed shut in attempt to drown out the arguments my parents were having in the room just below us...
Looking back, I realize that Sally was my "safe"...my sunshine in the midst of a storm that was brewing and would soon unfold...
My parents divorced when I was seven. I can't say that it was a surprise, their marriage was stressed...I remember. The yelling....the slamming of doors....the hurtful words....
...a confusing and scary time for a child.
Affliction of anger, blame....hardship and ugliness...it all began to pull at our family and my parents began to drift apart...
....if I remember correctly, Sally appeared in the beginning of the fight. Perhaps I couldn't bare the late night yelling on my own, laying in my bed wondering if I had done something wrong....
And so I created a friend...a confidant. Someone who would comfort me ....someone I could trust.
My mother tells me that Sally was not just a simple friend I had created in my thoughts...she had a history, a family, a wardrobe (of course!), favorites and other friends that I sometimes had the privilege of meeting...
I remember Sally. ...in fact, it amazes me just how vividly I remember her.
...And I remember the day Sally left.
Just after my father left.
I don't remember why Sally left...I do remember walking up to my mother, who stood in the doorway, watching my father loading his car with his belongings. Tears tickled her cheeks and her hands were folded for a prayer....
...and I simply stated that Sally had left. That was it. No explanation, no excuses...she just left. It was time for her to go....
The irony of that amazes me.
Because as I stood by my mother, whose world was crumbling around her....
....she, of all people who needed someone to love on her, looked at me and said, "I'm here."
And it was okay that Sally was gone.
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
"Light"ning Bugs...
I grew up in a hardcore, "follow the rules, or else" home...
...I was convinced that my parents sole reason for living was to ruin my life! I had even, many times, considered starting a sequel book to Joan Crawford's "Mommy Dearest!"
I was sixteen....a young, vibrant teenager, entering into womanhood....and I had just obtained my license! My social life was all that mattered to me....school, schmule - I had no use for textbooks and essays....it was crucial that I spend my time flirting with the boys, figuring out who would take me to prom!
Because of mommy dearests and daddy warbucksprobation terms rules, I was only "granted" the "privilege" of going out with my friends one day during the week....
I know, right? That is absolutely AB-SURD (...and for those of you that know my sixteen year old son, for the love of all things secret, keep this to yourself!)
This meant that when the weekends rolled around, if some of my friends went out on Friday night and some of my other friends went out on Saturday night...I had to choose! *GASP* I mean, come on....can a girl help her popularity and charm? PUH-LEASE!
Another "command" from my parental units was that all of my school work MUST be complete and correct before I could even THINK about social plans....um, WHAT-EVER!
I share all of this information with you to better help you understand the tale I am about to unfold....meaning, I need you to side with me on this, call me a genius in the end and agree with me that my wardens (parents) should have seen this coming....
...this is a story that mommy dearest STILL, to this day, shares within her circles, looking for sympathy....
Circa 1990
Science was NEVER my specialty, much less Biology. I struggled with the whole "take home your Biology book and read a chapter or two each night" ...or the "studying" method that people talk about....
...nonetheless, I wasn't interested. Science isn't shiny and sparkly and it didn't involve Tom Cruise or New Kids On The Block.
So it was only natural for me that when the required and age old project that involved collecting bugs of various species and pinning them to a foam board was assigned, I tossed the thought and activity aside.
...and I would have gotten away with it if my mother wasn't a teacher within the school district and knew EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. OF. MY. TEACHERS.
It was inevitable....Saturday night surfaced and everyone who was anyone was going to the local movie theatre and out for pizza afterwards. I stood in front of my bathroom mirror, hairbrush pulling my bangs taught as I sprayed them until they were rock hard and higher than Mount Everest. My mother, who was preparing to entertain guests with her gourmet cooking, stood in my bathroom doorway...
"Where do you think you are going?" she asked me, with that "You can think otherwise" tone in her voice...
"I'm going with Niki and the other girls to the movies and for pizza. I'll be back before mid-night, don't worry..." I picked up my blusher brush and began to stroke my cheekbones with pink powder.
My mother folded her arms and crossed her right leg over her left leg, leaning into the door frame..."Oh, I won't worry....because you are not going out. Not until your Biology bug collection is complete and has my approval. Have you even started on it?" She squinted her eyes at me, burning her "no nonsense" ora into my soul....
"Really mom? Like, I started weeks ago. Puh-lease. It's almost finished. Like, okay?" I lied through my teeth as my heart raced with panic....I could NOT miss this social event....Jake Schmitz was going to be there!
My mother slowly unfolded her arms and turning ever so nonchalantly she began to saunter back towards the stairs, "Well then, bring what you have started downstairs for me to look at and then we can talk about you going out tonight..."
Crap.
Okay...I had this. This was cake. I left the bathroom and raced into my brothers room, swinging his closet door open and diving into the heap of hot wheel cars, G.I. Joe's and superheros to find a cardboard box lid from his Nike tennis shoes shoebox....
....racing up the stairs to the attic, which had been transformed into a private nook/bedroom for my sixteenth birthday, I stood underneath the light fixture on the ceiling of my room. Scrunching my eyes in the light, I quickly unscrewed the nut that held the glass piece over the light bulbs and twisted the glass from it's place. Holding the edges because the glass was hot from the light bulb heat, I brought the piece down to eye level and was elated at what I saw! Several dead bugs lay in the beveled glass, attracted to the light, they had suffered from the heat and their tiny corpses were accumulated in the crevices. I gloriously dumped the dead bugs onto the cardboard lid and then swiftly ran to my sisters room on the second floor. Using the same technique I had used in my own bedroom, I emptied another glass globe of dead bugs onto the cardboard lid.
....making my way across the hall into my mothers bedroom, I opened her closet doors to seek out her sewing kit. Opening the quilted top basket of needles and thread, I grabbed the fabric tomato cushion that housed several ball topped pins in various colors. Within two minutes I had roughly fifteen to twenty bugs pinned onto the lid of a Nike shoe box!
I. Was. A. Genius.
...not only was I certain that I would receive an "A" on my bug project, I was mere minutes from joining my friends and flirting with the boy I had my heart set on!
Carrying my masterpiece, I floated down the stairs to the kitchen and proudly displayed my bugs to my mother and my father (in the presence of company....another genius move, if I do say so myself!)
"What is this?" my mother asked me in her "we have company, so I sound like Mary Poppins" voice...
"Um.....my bug project. You said you wanted to see it." I looked around at my parents friends, smiling, fishing for compliments on my flowered skirt and ruffled top....
"This looks like you just emptied bugs from the light fixtures onto a shoebox lid!"
Um. Duh!
"It's bugs, isn't it? They are pinned, aren't they? Like, what more do you want?"
.....needless to say, I didn't go to the movies or pizza....and there was no flirting with Jake Schmitz.
The moral of this story is.....
...it's better to be a bookworm.
...I was convinced that my parents sole reason for living was to ruin my life! I had even, many times, considered starting a sequel book to Joan Crawford's "Mommy Dearest!"
I was sixteen....a young, vibrant teenager, entering into womanhood....and I had just obtained my license! My social life was all that mattered to me....school, schmule - I had no use for textbooks and essays....it was crucial that I spend my time flirting with the boys, figuring out who would take me to prom!
Because of mommy dearests and daddy warbucks
I know, right? That is absolutely AB-SURD (...and for those of you that know my sixteen year old son, for the love of all things secret, keep this to yourself!)
This meant that when the weekends rolled around, if some of my friends went out on Friday night and some of my other friends went out on Saturday night...I had to choose! *GASP* I mean, come on....can a girl help her popularity and charm? PUH-LEASE!
Another "command" from my parental units was that all of my school work MUST be complete and correct before I could even THINK about social plans....um, WHAT-EVER!
I share all of this information with you to better help you understand the tale I am about to unfold....meaning, I need you to side with me on this, call me a genius in the end and agree with me that my wardens (parents) should have seen this coming....
...this is a story that mommy dearest STILL, to this day, shares within her circles, looking for sympathy....
Circa 1990
Science was NEVER my specialty, much less Biology. I struggled with the whole "take home your Biology book and read a chapter or two each night" ...or the "studying" method that people talk about....
...nonetheless, I wasn't interested. Science isn't shiny and sparkly and it didn't involve Tom Cruise or New Kids On The Block.
So it was only natural for me that when the required and age old project that involved collecting bugs of various species and pinning them to a foam board was assigned, I tossed the thought and activity aside.
...and I would have gotten away with it if my mother wasn't a teacher within the school district and knew EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. OF. MY. TEACHERS.
It was inevitable....Saturday night surfaced and everyone who was anyone was going to the local movie theatre and out for pizza afterwards. I stood in front of my bathroom mirror, hairbrush pulling my bangs taught as I sprayed them until they were rock hard and higher than Mount Everest. My mother, who was preparing to entertain guests with her gourmet cooking, stood in my bathroom doorway...
"Where do you think you are going?" she asked me, with that "You can think otherwise" tone in her voice...
"I'm going with Niki and the other girls to the movies and for pizza. I'll be back before mid-night, don't worry..." I picked up my blusher brush and began to stroke my cheekbones with pink powder.
My mother folded her arms and crossed her right leg over her left leg, leaning into the door frame..."Oh, I won't worry....because you are not going out. Not until your Biology bug collection is complete and has my approval. Have you even started on it?" She squinted her eyes at me, burning her "no nonsense" ora into my soul....
"Really mom? Like, I started weeks ago. Puh-lease. It's almost finished. Like, okay?" I lied through my teeth as my heart raced with panic....I could NOT miss this social event....Jake Schmitz was going to be there!
My mother slowly unfolded her arms and turning ever so nonchalantly she began to saunter back towards the stairs, "Well then, bring what you have started downstairs for me to look at and then we can talk about you going out tonight..."
Crap.
Okay...I had this. This was cake. I left the bathroom and raced into my brothers room, swinging his closet door open and diving into the heap of hot wheel cars, G.I. Joe's and superheros to find a cardboard box lid from his Nike tennis shoes shoebox....
....racing up the stairs to the attic, which had been transformed into a private nook/bedroom for my sixteenth birthday, I stood underneath the light fixture on the ceiling of my room. Scrunching my eyes in the light, I quickly unscrewed the nut that held the glass piece over the light bulbs and twisted the glass from it's place. Holding the edges because the glass was hot from the light bulb heat, I brought the piece down to eye level and was elated at what I saw! Several dead bugs lay in the beveled glass, attracted to the light, they had suffered from the heat and their tiny corpses were accumulated in the crevices. I gloriously dumped the dead bugs onto the cardboard lid and then swiftly ran to my sisters room on the second floor. Using the same technique I had used in my own bedroom, I emptied another glass globe of dead bugs onto the cardboard lid.
....making my way across the hall into my mothers bedroom, I opened her closet doors to seek out her sewing kit. Opening the quilted top basket of needles and thread, I grabbed the fabric tomato cushion that housed several ball topped pins in various colors. Within two minutes I had roughly fifteen to twenty bugs pinned onto the lid of a Nike shoe box!
I. Was. A. Genius.
...not only was I certain that I would receive an "A" on my bug project, I was mere minutes from joining my friends and flirting with the boy I had my heart set on!
Carrying my masterpiece, I floated down the stairs to the kitchen and proudly displayed my bugs to my mother and my father (in the presence of company....another genius move, if I do say so myself!)
"What is this?" my mother asked me in her "we have company, so I sound like Mary Poppins" voice...
"Um.....my bug project. You said you wanted to see it." I looked around at my parents friends, smiling, fishing for compliments on my flowered skirt and ruffled top....
"This looks like you just emptied bugs from the light fixtures onto a shoebox lid!"
Um. Duh!
"It's bugs, isn't it? They are pinned, aren't they? Like, what more do you want?"
.....needless to say, I didn't go to the movies or pizza....and there was no flirting with Jake Schmitz.
The moral of this story is.....
...it's better to be a bookworm.
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Patience Is A Piece Of Cake...
I need God to send me a post it note. Perhaps a road map? Maybe a trail made from bread crumbs...
...As much as I would love for God to "next day" FedEx His plans to me, He is asking me to wait, and patience is not my virtue.
But we serve a HUGE God...and I am growing, day by day in His Word. Each day I develop a deeper sense of peace and understand that He is preparing my heart for what He has planned for me next.
The time that He has allowed me the past few weeks has brought opportunities...lessons...a cleansing of my heart...
...all that opens my eyes to truly knowing that Christ is head-over-heels in love with me...just as I am...my sins do not surprise Him, nor do they alter His love for me.
Patience.
I am reminded of my grandmother...
...I was ten years old. Staying overnight at grandma and Po-po's house was a treat! I remember laying in the twin bed in the spare bedroom, the sheets scratchy from the crisp air of drying on the clothesline. The smell of fresh lilacs in a glass tumbler that hid a watermark on the cherry nightstand. Grandma tiptoed into my room and gently sat on the edge of my bed...
She whispered, "Let's make chocolate cake for breakfast..." My eyes fluttered open, I felt such an overwhelming sense of love from my grandmother and I was happy to be right where I was.
Sleepily I shuffled my slippered feet across my grandparents apartment into the kitchen where my grandmother stood in her housecoat, a white, zip up, cotton dress with tiny, delicate pink flowers embroidered across the bosom. Her smile invited me over to where she stood.
I watched as my grandma pulled out measuring cups and spoons, mixing bowls, flour, sugar, cocoa...all the ingredients needed for a chocolate cake! My stomach growled at the prospect of eating such a delightfully, sugary treat...and so early in the morning! I was spoiled...and loving every moment!
Together my grandmother and me sifted, measured, poured and stirred. Using a spatula my grandma poured our creation into her heavy baking square and handed me the empty bowl and utensil...I ran my tongue over the chocolate batter that was left on the spatula, next running my index finger inside the mixing bowl, licking my lips at the yumminess of its taste...
"Let's just eat the cake like this Grandma!" I exclaimed, inpatient at the prospect of having to wait another 45 minutes until our creation would be complete!
"Patience my dear..." my grandmother shook her head at me. I whimpered, "But I don't want to wait Grandma...I'm hungry now!"
...my grandmother took my tiny face into her soft wrinkled hands and kissing me on the forehead she said, "Patience is a fruit of the Spirit..."
I didn't understand in that moment...
....but today, I think of my grandmother's words and I fully understand. By waiting on God to lead me, I know that once His plan for me is revealed and I take the path that He will lay before me...nothing and no one can lead me astray.
Patience is allowing for me to experience joys that I otherwise would not know...
....the joy of time with my children before the end of summer...
...precious moments with my husband before he leaves for deployment with the National Guard...
...day trips with someone that I love, admire and value...allowing friendship to grow deeper...
...rest
...spiritual growth....
....and the deliciousness of a warm, chocolate cake freshly iced with grandmother's homemade chocolate icing!
...As much as I would love for God to "next day" FedEx His plans to me, He is asking me to wait, and patience is not my virtue.
But we serve a HUGE God...and I am growing, day by day in His Word. Each day I develop a deeper sense of peace and understand that He is preparing my heart for what He has planned for me next.
The time that He has allowed me the past few weeks has brought opportunities...lessons...a cleansing of my heart...
...all that opens my eyes to truly knowing that Christ is head-over-heels in love with me...just as I am...my sins do not surprise Him, nor do they alter His love for me.
Patience.
I am reminded of my grandmother...
...I was ten years old. Staying overnight at grandma and Po-po's house was a treat! I remember laying in the twin bed in the spare bedroom, the sheets scratchy from the crisp air of drying on the clothesline. The smell of fresh lilacs in a glass tumbler that hid a watermark on the cherry nightstand. Grandma tiptoed into my room and gently sat on the edge of my bed...
She whispered, "Let's make chocolate cake for breakfast..." My eyes fluttered open, I felt such an overwhelming sense of love from my grandmother and I was happy to be right where I was.
Sleepily I shuffled my slippered feet across my grandparents apartment into the kitchen where my grandmother stood in her housecoat, a white, zip up, cotton dress with tiny, delicate pink flowers embroidered across the bosom. Her smile invited me over to where she stood.
I watched as my grandma pulled out measuring cups and spoons, mixing bowls, flour, sugar, cocoa...all the ingredients needed for a chocolate cake! My stomach growled at the prospect of eating such a delightfully, sugary treat...and so early in the morning! I was spoiled...and loving every moment!
Together my grandmother and me sifted, measured, poured and stirred. Using a spatula my grandma poured our creation into her heavy baking square and handed me the empty bowl and utensil...I ran my tongue over the chocolate batter that was left on the spatula, next running my index finger inside the mixing bowl, licking my lips at the yumminess of its taste...
"Let's just eat the cake like this Grandma!" I exclaimed, inpatient at the prospect of having to wait another 45 minutes until our creation would be complete!
"Patience my dear..." my grandmother shook her head at me. I whimpered, "But I don't want to wait Grandma...I'm hungry now!"
...my grandmother took my tiny face into her soft wrinkled hands and kissing me on the forehead she said, "Patience is a fruit of the Spirit..."
I didn't understand in that moment...
....but today, I think of my grandmother's words and I fully understand. By waiting on God to lead me, I know that once His plan for me is revealed and I take the path that He will lay before me...nothing and no one can lead me astray.
Patience is allowing for me to experience joys that I otherwise would not know...
....the joy of time with my children before the end of summer...
...precious moments with my husband before he leaves for deployment with the National Guard...
...day trips with someone that I love, admire and value...allowing friendship to grow deeper...
...rest
...spiritual growth....
....and the deliciousness of a warm, chocolate cake freshly iced with grandmother's homemade chocolate icing!
Saturday, July 14, 2012
All I Needed Was A Little "Faith"...
...it's been so long since I have posted a new entry! I am hoping to get back into the habit of daily blogging, I really do enjoy writing/journaling.
I'm not sure where I should begin...I'm not really even sure if I should begin in the beginning...but I think I will start by saying much has transpired in my daily life the past several weeks. I apologize for being so vague, but the details of what I've been walking in are not important...it's the teachings and the outcome that are to be shared.
I am growing each and every day and trusting that what I thought was a setback, God is preparing for a setup. ....
My circumstances have changed in the past few weeks, allowing me to be available to help out with vacation Bible school at my church. A volunteer was needed to help with a nine year old little girl that has Down Syndrome. Faith is a vibrant, beautiful and very smart girl and when the word was out that she needed an aid for the week I jumped at the opportunity.
I met Faith on Monday for the first time. Sitting at the lunch table in the fellowship hall, she wore purple glasses and her smile revealed pink braces (I knew from that moment that we would be best friends, pink is the signature color of GREAT people!) ;)
...I sat next to Faith and said, "Hi Faith! I'm Betsy, you and I are going to spend a lot of time together this week! I'm really excited to get to know you!" Faith smiled at me and said, "Ok." I could tell that there was a shyness about her, but anyone who knows me knows that you cannot be shy around me! ;)
As the lunch crowd was clearing out, Faith and I made our way to the sanctuary where the Sports Crusaders team was waiting to begin basketball camp. Roughly thirty kids, ages 6-10 sat in the middle of the room, all sharing their adventures of the day, out talking one another....the noise level was at an all time high! Faith walked right up to the group of children and sat down, patting the space beside her to indicate she wanted me to sit with her. I sat down and she leaned against me....she already had found trust with me.
Immediately two little girls scooted over towards where Faith and I sat and introduced themselves to Faith. Faith looked at me, a smile so big it must have made her little cheeks sting! ....I was witnessing unconditional love....two sweet little girls that saw beyond Faith's disability....something rare in our world today.
The afternoon was full of various basketball technique workshops and fun recreational activities....and I watched Faith interact with the other children, carefree and full of joy. When the other kids had taken up all the basketballs, leaving none behind for Faith, she patiently waited for her turn...never doubting that she would have a chance to show off her dribble (and she practiced very hard on her dribble so that by the end of the week she was a pro!)...
Each day I was greeted by Faith with her gorgeous smile and a hug so tight that it filled my heart more and more with a love that can only burst from the seams, making me glow!
....last night as I lay in bed I was overwhelmed by emotion....I realized that God blessed me with Faith...He used this precious little girl to show me patience, obedience, boundaries, letting go of control and forgiveness.....all things that I struggle with at the age of thirty-eight, but witnessed this past week in this strong nine year old little girl.
All I have needed in this trial that I am walking through is....Faith. Faith in the spiritual sense, and Faith in the nine year old, angel on Earth sense. :)
This past week's experience has helped me to discover that all of our trials are individually tailored for us. They alone - in the way we experience them - are necessary to equip us with what we need to inherit Eternal Life!
I'm not sure where I should begin...I'm not really even sure if I should begin in the beginning...but I think I will start by saying much has transpired in my daily life the past several weeks. I apologize for being so vague, but the details of what I've been walking in are not important...it's the teachings and the outcome that are to be shared.
I am growing each and every day and trusting that what I thought was a setback, God is preparing for a setup. ....
My circumstances have changed in the past few weeks, allowing me to be available to help out with vacation Bible school at my church. A volunteer was needed to help with a nine year old little girl that has Down Syndrome. Faith is a vibrant, beautiful and very smart girl and when the word was out that she needed an aid for the week I jumped at the opportunity.
I met Faith on Monday for the first time. Sitting at the lunch table in the fellowship hall, she wore purple glasses and her smile revealed pink braces (I knew from that moment that we would be best friends, pink is the signature color of GREAT people!) ;)
...I sat next to Faith and said, "Hi Faith! I'm Betsy, you and I are going to spend a lot of time together this week! I'm really excited to get to know you!" Faith smiled at me and said, "Ok." I could tell that there was a shyness about her, but anyone who knows me knows that you cannot be shy around me! ;)
As the lunch crowd was clearing out, Faith and I made our way to the sanctuary where the Sports Crusaders team was waiting to begin basketball camp. Roughly thirty kids, ages 6-10 sat in the middle of the room, all sharing their adventures of the day, out talking one another....the noise level was at an all time high! Faith walked right up to the group of children and sat down, patting the space beside her to indicate she wanted me to sit with her. I sat down and she leaned against me....she already had found trust with me.
Immediately two little girls scooted over towards where Faith and I sat and introduced themselves to Faith. Faith looked at me, a smile so big it must have made her little cheeks sting! ....I was witnessing unconditional love....two sweet little girls that saw beyond Faith's disability....something rare in our world today.
The afternoon was full of various basketball technique workshops and fun recreational activities....and I watched Faith interact with the other children, carefree and full of joy. When the other kids had taken up all the basketballs, leaving none behind for Faith, she patiently waited for her turn...never doubting that she would have a chance to show off her dribble (and she practiced very hard on her dribble so that by the end of the week she was a pro!)...
Each day I was greeted by Faith with her gorgeous smile and a hug so tight that it filled my heart more and more with a love that can only burst from the seams, making me glow!
....last night as I lay in bed I was overwhelmed by emotion....I realized that God blessed me with Faith...He used this precious little girl to show me patience, obedience, boundaries, letting go of control and forgiveness.....all things that I struggle with at the age of thirty-eight, but witnessed this past week in this strong nine year old little girl.
All I have needed in this trial that I am walking through is....Faith. Faith in the spiritual sense, and Faith in the nine year old, angel on Earth sense. :)
This past week's experience has helped me to discover that all of our trials are individually tailored for us. They alone - in the way we experience them - are necessary to equip us with what we need to inherit Eternal Life!
“Faith, mighty faith, the promise sees, And looks to God alone; Laughs at impossibilities, And cries it shall be done.” ~ Charles Wesley
Friday, July 6, 2012
"Daddy's Stars..."
Originally posted on July 2, 2011....as we approach the two year mark of my brother's passing, I reflect on the time past...lost. This is a letter to my brother I posted last year at this time...
A letter to my brother...
Dear Cal,
Last night I had the most amazing time with Sophia and Henry. We laughed, we danced, we sang and we splashed in the water puddles that Nana made with the garden hose. Henry is really opening up...he is growing so quickly, and each day he looks more and more like you. A little chatter box, he has the sweetest voice and my favorite words of his are, "follow me Beth-y!" Pudgy feet, ticklish toes, fiery red hair that is as soft as silk....his smile melts my heart.
Sophia...well, you know how much I love that precious little girl. She's incredibly smart and loves to be read to. Last night as I was resting on the couch, she climbed up into my lap, placed her tiny hands on my face and very matter-of-fact like she stated, "I have an idea!" ....too cute!
Late into the evening, Nana brought out the American flag that was ceremonially folded and given to mom at your funeral. Mom had bought a glass display case to place your flag into to showcase in her living room. Calling Henry and Sophia over, Nana held your flag in her hands and she began to cry...the emotion is still very raw for her. Corinn and the kids placed their hands on the flag...gently running their fingers over each thread.
"A star..." Henry identified the shapes. Through her tears, mom shared with Sophia and Henry that the flag belonged to their daddy....
..."Daddy loves you both so very much," she caressed Henry's precious face.
"Daddy's stars," Henry touched the flag...not fully understanding at the age of two...but knowing who you are and that you love him.
Together, the four of them placed the flag into the display case (mom cleaned it with Windex first...knowing that you would have done the same thing).
...and now, on mother's walnut table that sits in the corner of her living room, carefully arranged with photos of you, sweet brother, stands a glass, triangular display case...
...showcasing "Daddy's stars..."
I love you Cal.
...And I miss you
Love always,
A letter to my brother...
Dear Cal,
Last night I had the most amazing time with Sophia and Henry. We laughed, we danced, we sang and we splashed in the water puddles that Nana made with the garden hose. Henry is really opening up...he is growing so quickly, and each day he looks more and more like you. A little chatter box, he has the sweetest voice and my favorite words of his are, "follow me Beth-y!" Pudgy feet, ticklish toes, fiery red hair that is as soft as silk....his smile melts my heart.
Sophia...well, you know how much I love that precious little girl. She's incredibly smart and loves to be read to. Last night as I was resting on the couch, she climbed up into my lap, placed her tiny hands on my face and very matter-of-fact like she stated, "I have an idea!" ....too cute!
Late into the evening, Nana brought out the American flag that was ceremonially folded and given to mom at your funeral. Mom had bought a glass display case to place your flag into to showcase in her living room. Calling Henry and Sophia over, Nana held your flag in her hands and she began to cry...the emotion is still very raw for her. Corinn and the kids placed their hands on the flag...gently running their fingers over each thread.
"A star..." Henry identified the shapes. Through her tears, mom shared with Sophia and Henry that the flag belonged to their daddy....
..."Daddy loves you both so very much," she caressed Henry's precious face.
"Daddy's stars," Henry touched the flag...not fully understanding at the age of two...but knowing who you are and that you love him.
Together, the four of them placed the flag into the display case (mom cleaned it with Windex first...knowing that you would have done the same thing).
...and now, on mother's walnut table that sits in the corner of her living room, carefully arranged with photos of you, sweet brother, stands a glass, triangular display case...
...showcasing "Daddy's stars..."
I love you Cal.
...And I miss you
Love always,
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